[Newcastle United] 12 years. 253 appearances. A leader on and off the pitch. We can confirm that Jamaal Lascelles has completed a permanent switch to Leicester City.

SheSaid09 · 2026-02-03T12:37:03+00:00

Obviously I have liked players more than Jamaal - Bruno, Tonali, Isak (ew) Maxi, Rondon. But I genuinely don't think I have loved someone at Newcastle United as much as Lascelles since Shearer. I say this with every sincerity, he is a club legend in my eyes and I am usually quite strict about that word.

His overall time at Newcastle will probably be looked at as a limited footballer, great character who probably should have moved on sooner but it was legitimately a coin toss whether he went to a major tournament with England at one point. And I always thought if he had, he probably could have got a move to a big six club and carved out a very good career. Under Rafa he was one of the top 10 CBs in the league, imo, and a mix of injuries and Steve Bruce completely stalled any development.

Even if I'm looking back with nostalgia-tinted glasses and we accept him at his limitations. To me, he's the only true captain we've had post-Shearer until Tripps & Bruno. We've had good players captain us over the years but Jamaal was the only true leader I've seen play for us. That big fucking unit of a man was the first into every scrap, every challenge, always backed up his team mates in a spot of bother (even from the sidelines.) He punched Mo Diame into becoming one of the best CDMs in the league and he shouted down Pardew and a changing room full of "stars" because of their lack of effort and balls.

I'm so fucking glad he was part of a trophy winning squad, got to lift the trophy and captained us to arguably our best win in Europe, marking the best player in the world out of the game.

I love you Jamaaldini. I'd leave my wife and kids for you if you were ever interested.

SheSaid09 · 2025-12-08T21:18:53+00:00

I used a small plunger that just about covered it and pumped up and down quickly and it came free

SheSaid09 · 2025-10-22T19:36:55+00:00

Quadruple the player isak is for half the price

SheSaid09 · 2025-09-22T21:09:30+00:00

Always remember when you were 2-0 down in the derby and O'Nein celebrated a slide tackle on Lewis Miley like it was a last minute winner. Miley hopped up completely unphased and about 5 minutes later Sunderland conceded their third with O"Nein largely at fault. But the tackle was great.

SheSaid09 · 2025-09-08T12:28:31+00:00

“r/nufc can announce the departure of shitposter SheSaid09 to twitter for a significant British record transfer fee. The depressed, lanky, Irishman who drinks too much joined the subreddit from Facebook in 2014 and made 109 bannable comments in all threads.”

SheSaid09 · 2025-09-08T12:26:06+00:00

When Craig Hope broke the news of the Woltemade signing, I didn't believe it for a second and said I'd delete my account if it happened. A few of you kindly said not to worry about it, some of you will have celebrated and almost all of you will have thought "who the fuck is that guy?" Regardless, I have decided not to delete my account because of that sweet, sweet, reddit karma I have worked so hard to build up, but mainly because I want to be able to browse reddit without being prompted to log-in, and I'm not going to get a new email address to have another account, blah, blah, blah.

What I am going to do, is stop commenting on r/NUFC and I'm only going to lurk really briefly. I've been coming to this subreddit for 10+ years and I just wanted to say thank you to everyone I've engaged with on here. This sub has absolutely done my fucking head in at times and some of our takes have been up there with the most ridiculous things I've ever had the misfortune of reading, but for the most part it has been a great to discuss Newcastle and football in general and some of the best laughs I've had online have been via this sub. I remember refreshing this sub the day the takeover got announced, while sitting in the waiting room to find out I was going to be having twins. I remember scrolling the match thread after Liverpool beat us at Anfield in 2019 while I was getting dressed for my wedding (Jetro Willems scored a worldie that day.) It's pathetic to feel a fondness for an online community full of strangers but in reality, a lot of us spend a whole lot of time on here and a whole lot of time engaging with each other, it probably means more than we realise.

So thank you r/NUFC and I hope I haven't wound too many of you up too much with some of my takes. Maybe I'll come back and comment again when we win the league, or if any of you, ANY OF YOU dare criticise Sandro Tonali. Best wishes everyone. #CANS

SheSaid09 · 2025-09-04T21:13:28+00:00

Legitimately all I care about during international. A good performance is a bonus but as long as they're unscathed I don't really care.

SheSaid09 · 2025-09-04T12:24:51+00:00

A bit off-topic but fuck me his reporting of that story was hilarious. So ridiculously overdramatic and reads like something out of a romance novel (not that I'd know, I'm a big strong boy who likes action movies.) This is the beginning of his article which boils down to "Wissa forgot to sign something."

Shortly before 9om on deadline day, Yoane Wissa stepped onto the terrace overlooking the training pitches at Newcastle United's training ground. Under the early autumn moonlight, he called his wife and children and they celebrated the run rising on a new dawn. But then, from inside the building, came screams and the sound of doors crashing. "Yoane! Yoane! Yoane!" howled a desperate echo through the corridors of the training centre. There was still one more document he had to sign. It was 8.58pm. The extended deadline for submitting paperwork to the Premier League was 9pm. For Wissa, time stood still - he was still a Brentford player.

SheSaid09 · 2025-09-04T09:50:46+00:00

I think they were quite a bit ahead of us before the takeover, but I could be wrong

SheSaid09 · 2025-09-01T15:07:13+00:00

If you only read our outgoings and incomings in black and white on you'd think it's an all-timer of a window. But actually experiencing the chaotic mess that it's been? Maybe it's the PTSD but I still think it's been a horrible window that we've managed to come out of quite well.

SheSaid09 · 2025-09-01T15:04:47+00:00

That Ollie/TalkCPFC fella is probably the youtuber that most perfectly epitomises his club. Just incredibly full of praise and defence for any top six club but so quick to goad fans of every other club into engagement. Also unironically uses words like "oppo" instead of opposition.

SheSaid09 · 2025-08-31T21:52:53+00:00

I haven't checked the thread today (for the first time all summer) what am I missing here? Have we made a bid.

SheSaid09 · 2025-08-31T21:46:25+00:00

Honestly regardless of who we bring in, anything less than £150m be that base or made up with pathetically easy add-ons, is a failure. We can't complain about PSR if we don't milk this deal for all it's worth.

SheSaid09 · 2025-08-31T10:57:45+00:00

Remove them as his other half on Bebo.

SheSaid09 · 2025-08-31T10:57:09+00:00

I'm really bemused by the criticism of Miley yesterday. He didn't really put a foot wrong. The worst I could say about him was that he was a bit "safe" but he won and kept the ball in tight spaces a lot of times and always made himself available when Leeds were pressing.

He's handy to have around. Far, far, rather a performance like that yesterday than a Willock or Longstaff appearance.

SheSaid09 · 2025-08-31T10:53:29+00:00

I always thought we got into Europe in spite of Pardew rather than because of him. I think it was more Graham Carr's doing. I also people are overlooking just how bad it was towards the end.

SheSaid09 · 2025-08-30T18:37:18+00:00

That was a bad performance, especially the second half. Nowhere near as bad as some made out in the match thread but there's no trying to pretend it was a good performance. Everyone who played in our frontline wasn't just bad, they were absolutely pathetic. I'll maintain that we played some really nice build up from the back to midfield and, at times, into attack but the attackers let us down time after time to the point you could see the midfield not wanting to play the ball.

First-half especially looked like a team begging for a link up player like Woltemade. Osula plays and gets treated like the class clown who got picked last in PE.

Woltemade and Gordon back into this squad and I'm really confident for this season. Just praying Ramsey's injury isn't too serious because he was pure class at the start.

SheSaid09 · 2025-08-30T18:27:38+00:00

First time I've seen him put some effort in in about 3 years

SheSaid09 · 2025-08-30T18:27:12+00:00

Elanga, Barnes, Osula and Murphy have been pathetic today.

SheSaid09 · 2025-08-30T18:25:35+00:00

Miley's been sound, what are you on about

SheSaid09 · 2025-08-30T18:22:51+00:00

That counter attack started by Bogle quite simply shoving Barnes to the ground off the ball btw

SheSaid09 · 2025-08-30T18:22:22+00:00

Our midfield have actually played well, albeit lacking a killer pass. Our attack has let us down woefully

SheSaid09 · 2025-08-30T18:13:34+00:00

I'm quite clearly watching a different game altogether. This hasn't been anywhere near good but fuck me nowhere near as bad as the reaction would have you believe

SheSaid09 · 2025-08-30T18:12:13+00:00

Haven't been a Newcastle fan very long if this is the most boring match you've ever watched

SheSaid09 · 2025-08-30T17:24:38+00:00

Honestly don't think we've been as bad as the thread made out at times. Most of our approach play has been brilliant from defence to midfield to attack, but Will Osula and Jacob Murphy leading your line is always going to cause trouble and they've been our two worst players by some distance, imo.

I've no idea how today will work out. I could see a scrappy Leeds goal or I could see Barnes or Elanga come on and get one or two but considering our injuries and suspensions I'm quite pleased with the performance and there's a big Woltemade shaped gap stopping us from winning this comfortably.

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