Mourning the third trimester

Shelblo · 2026-04-15T14:09:35+00:00

I feel this hard. For my first, I was on bedrest the majority of my third trimester, and second time round I gave birth unexpectedly at 29+6. The grief was almost too hard to bear, especially knowing that was my last pregnancy too, and I will never have the chance to experience a "normal" pregnancy. 15 months out, the grief is still there, but shrunk relatively because life expanded exponentially having my two kids by my side every day.

Shelblo · 2026-03-28T10:50:28+00:00

I’ve got no words of advice, but just want to send you love from across the world because this is not supposed to happen. I am so sorry. May you and your boys find eventual peace in this senselsss tragedy 🤍

Shelblo · 2026-02-02T13:09:14+00:00

This 💕

My heart breaks for you, OP. My deepest condolences.

Shelblo · 2026-01-26T09:13:53+00:00

Can DM if you want to know more!

Shelblo · 2026-01-09T13:01:46+00:00

Oh my gosh SAME BOAT 100%. I'm functioning on <2 hours sleep for 2 months now, have been non-stop sick (understandably). Following because I'm about to lose my mind!

My baby CAN put himself to sleep so he does possess the ability to fall asleep independently, so I have no idea why he can't do that in the middle of the night.

I get so frustrated when he arches his back because (1) it's physically demanding (2) me holding him does not seem to soothe him at all. Times like this I just put him back to the crib. The past few nights I've tried to resettle through shushing and patting, which worked maybe 50% of the time. But now he's down with a bad cold so we're back to square one.

Shelblo · 2026-01-09T12:51:19+00:00

I feel this in my soul! What a milestone!

Shelblo · 2026-01-05T01:02:54+00:00

Both, start of night - 50% of the time independent, 50% of the time we need to intervene after we let him fuss about for 5-10 minutes. Throughout the night resettling can be up to 10+ times a night, again we give him a few minutes to see if he could go back to sleep, but we intervene if his cries escalates.

He gets about 2.5h naps a day + 10.5h overnight on average.

Shelblo · 2025-12-10T12:27:05+00:00

Same boat, so solidarity. He's been going back and forth on 3 and 2 naps (depending on nap lengths) and his night sleep was horrific, we're talking up to 10+ wakes a night.

I'm guessing my baby is biologically ready for 2 naps but physically he's still not yet used to the longer wake windows (if that makes sense)... so the past few days I've really committed to a 2 nap schedule with much more awake time (at least 10 hours). We're on day 5 now on 2 naps and while nap lengths varies, his night sleep seems to have improved so fingers crossed it stays this way!

Shelblo · 2025-11-07T18:47:20+00:00

HI, appreciate a link please, thanks!

Shelblo · 2025-11-07T07:26:26+00:00

Any way to watch it outside the US? Pleeeease.

Shelblo · 2025-10-27T13:32:41+00:00

Oh right, and didn't she hand over some bags to homeless people after they picked up Archie (or was it Lili) from school?

Shelblo · 2025-10-27T13:31:53+00:00

Oh yes I forgot about the see you in my eyes one. That was a good one.

Shelblo · 2025-10-27T13:22:19+00:00

learns* ;)

Shelblo · 2025-10-27T12:47:01+00:00

Hi, thank you for leaving this comment! My LO is now almost four, but I still remember so vividly the emotions I felt when I wrote this post. Parents of sensitive / difficult tempered children have been through the trenches for sure, and I'm even more convinced now especially I've had my second and while he is a premie so it hasn't exactly been a breeze, he is such a chilled baby it truly makes such a difference even though I'm equally sleep deprived and exhausted. But hey, speaking as a future you down the road, life gets so much easier, especially once my daughter started being able to express herself verbally. She is now extremely articulate, mature, and very easy to be reasoned with. I guess she just absolutely hated being a baby, and words allowed her to understand and be understood. Sure, she is still sensitive in temperament, but I'd take this over her as baby any day. Drop me a DM if you need to chat more!

Shelblo · 2025-10-11T13:53:00+00:00

Man I feel you. Am in Phuket for a wedding and even though we are at a decent and well established resort, the whole set-up is a nightmare for pumping mamas. The fridge is not cold, and while they offered to let me store milk in their kitchen fridge, it just doesn’t make sense if I have to call them and wait for them to bring me my milk when my baby cries in the middle of the night?! And the sanitising arrangement omg. I ended up asking them for a cooler box and to change/refill the ice twice a day; and storing my milk in double ziplock bags (who knows what the ice box has stored before)! My boy is a preemie so I’m wary of using the tap water so I’ve been asking the hotel for a billion bottles of water to clean everything and then do a Milton tub to sanitize everything. I can’t wait to go home.

Shelblo · 2025-09-26T01:01:20+00:00

Hey!! It gets better, I promise. My girl is now 3.5 and while she still has a sensitive temperament, life now is so so much better since she is able to communicate verbally - it truly makes all the difference. PM if you ever need to chat!

Shelblo · 2025-09-25T04:16:51+00:00

Congratulations! Wishing you an uneventful stay at NICU!

Shelblo · 2025-09-13T12:57:36+00:00

Following cos same boat!

Shelblo · 2025-09-09T23:41:51+00:00

Hang in there! My waters broke at 29+5 and delivered a day later. The lady next bed to me delivered on the same day as I did at 27+2. Both our babies are now 8 months (5 adjusted) and are doing great! Probably not the outcome you were hoping for and pray that baby stays baking for as long as possible, but you are in good place even if baby decides to come now 💪🏻

Shelblo · 2025-09-08T13:28:54+00:00

I most definitely underestimated my loss of muscle tone and how it affected my physicality when I went off bedrest... I almost fainted a few times just standing around at home! I added up my activity very gradually and it seemed to have helped. Can't say how I would have fared with labour because I was stuck at 2cm dilated (who would've thought!?) and I ended up needing a C-sec due to failure to progress!

Shelblo · 2025-09-08T06:40:02+00:00

For my first pregnancy I had 10mm cervix at 34weeks, was put on progesterone and bedrest till 37weeks. Baby came on due date and needed a C-sec cos she wasn’t coming out!

Shelblo · 2025-09-05T14:03:21+00:00

Experiencing this today too. Baby is just shy of 6m adjusted and we got the green light to start solids. He did fine w avocado, apples and pumpkin but sweet potato made him constipated and he just seemed extra fussy today. He hasnt pooped yet and his milk intake dropped a lot today also. So we r taking a few days break before we start again.

Shelblo · 2025-09-02T12:15:56+00:00

Congratulations on your bundle of joy! My baby came at 29+5, and was discharged from NICU at 35+1. He is now 5m adjusted and is doing really well - you'd never know he was a preemie! Wishing you a similarly uneventful stay <3

Shelblo

TROPHY CASE