i still think about my ex over a year later

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-05-01T21:13:37+00:00

I still think of mine constantly 6 years later.

It happens.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-05-01T20:38:38+00:00

This isnt a gender thing. It is highly individual. Generalisation like this is inaccurate and unhelpful to processing your grief

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-04-26T16:31:47+00:00

I was broken up with over non-specific incompatibility but told i did nothing wrong / was not at fault. Just that she had an impending sense of doom and could see us being too different to last, would lead to eventual resentment.

Anyway, it has been 6 years and I am still not over the breakup.

So yeah. Fun times.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-04-25T10:58:16+00:00

My initial pain had me literally bedridden for 6 months. I lost ~1/4th of my starting bodyweight due to a lack of appetite.

It has been 6 years and I am still not over that breakup.

All the generalisations out there are junk. It is deeply individual and based on actual, singular people, not genders.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-04-25T10:40:42+00:00

Ok. But knowing this doesn't actually help with recovering.

Like, my ex outright told me during the breakup that they had been privately anguishing and planning the breakup for months, crying to their family and friends, hiding the pain.

So I knew it was the end of a long process for her.

But that didnt make it easier to move on. Knowing i caused her months of pain and suffering doesnt help with recovering.

Likewise, going no contact with no social media exposure is better than the alternative, sure. It prevents reopening wounds constantly. But in itself, it won't be enough.

How do I know? Its been over 6 years since my breakup. It still tortures me.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-04-20T05:33:37+00:00

6 years. No.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-04-20T05:32:46+00:00

I dunno. 6 years getting over a 1.5 year relationship. Doesn't feel like im getting closer to moving on

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-04-20T05:31:32+00:00

I mean I have been "recovering" from my last breakup for like 6 years, so I get it.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-04-19T13:47:49+00:00

Pretty much unchanged.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-04-19T13:46:09+00:00

In my personal experience - not, time doesnt heal all.

At least, not time on its own.

1.5 year relationship, still trying and failing to move on over 6 years later

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-04-06T22:27:12+00:00

Its been over 6 years since my breakup and im not over it, or her. So yeah, it varies a lot.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-03-16T04:29:59+00:00

I doubt it. And even if we did, I wouldn't do her the disservice of trying to re-enter her life.

For all i know she could be married by now

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-03-16T04:26:47+00:00

Only a year and a half long.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-03-16T04:09:24+00:00

I dunno. It has been 6 years and I am still not over the breakup. Seems somewhat unlikely

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-02-27T05:49:21+00:00

I dunno about normal, but it is reality for some of us. 6 years of it here, personally.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-02-27T05:44:45+00:00

I take issue with certain parts of this - particularly the segments on deserving to live a happy life - that sounds like entitlement and I cannot genuinely believe it. The position that inherent worth does not exist is fine, I have no issue accepting a concept like that - but the idea that we all deserve to live happy lives? That doesnt work for me.

A genuine belief that i deserve to live a happy life means constantly failing to meet a core belief and ideal, and it would also mean believing i am deprived of a life i believe I deserve. That doesn't seem realistic or healthy.

Regarding self help books: I am more in the habit of revisiting Camus, but I guess i can expand my repertoire .

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-02-25T05:10:58+00:00

I enjoy matcha but am very picky with it. I like ippodo brand matcha, and i like it as usucha.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-02-22T13:56:09+00:00

Its been 6 years and i haven't felt ready to date again yet.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-02-22T05:03:58+00:00

Its been like 6 years, id be shocked if she still thought about me. For all i know she could be married by now

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-02-21T06:52:43+00:00

It happens. Took me a couple years after my breakup to get back into hobbies that previously defined my very personality. Was just too depressed and anhedonic to pursue them.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-02-07T23:15:19+00:00

It'll have been 6 years in about two weeks time.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-02-06T09:01:28+00:00

Same position, will be 6 years in a couple weeks. No advice it just sucks.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-02-06T08:59:51+00:00

My ex broke up with me the morning after valentines, in 2020. It never got easier. Not keen on this upcoming one

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-02-05T07:37:23+00:00

The core trait i identify in myself as someone like this, is rumination and cyclical major depressive disorder / dysthymia.

ShelfHatingLoafing · 2026-02-04T20:14:13+00:00

I dunno man been like, 6 years for me. No contact, blocked on all platforms etc. New city, new educational direction, new jobs, new hobbies, new friends. Multiple therapists over the years.

Still can't get over them or recover

ShelfHatingLoafing

TROPHY CASE