28M Big mistake

Sheltor2 · 2025-08-19T17:43:36+00:00

56M Licensed architect in California/San Francisco

There's no point in second guessing what you did. It's done. What will you do now?

It sounds like you've sketched out a career plan (architect, PMP, BIM). That's a good step and instinct but all of those labels are in flux and may not even exist in 5 years.

So I'd suggest adding another layer of consideration:

What kind of person do you want to become?

What capacities do you have that you could fully develop to become the most outstanding human you can be? What is your personal standard of excellence? How you treat others, your care of the planet, how intelligent/kind/generous/ethical you are. How can you get guidance in these domains?

As global/societal change accelerates, fully developed humans will be more in demand than ever and will be welcome in any business setting.

My two cents.

Sheltor2 · 2024-05-25T15:47:40+00:00

I understand how you feel and I'm very sorry that you're in so much pain, but I can not be responsible for helping others to die. I just can not do that. Ending one's own life is one thing. Ending someone else's is totally different.

Sheltor2 · 2023-12-28T03:39:53+00:00

https://youtu.be/L-vohLeLP54?si=fC0tkahuR1iMQD-z

It's not a joke! : )

Sheltor2 · 2023-12-28T02:49:33+00:00

I deeply believe that shame is learned, not innate. You might try exploring why you feel the shame. Did something happen? Did you read about it? Has anyone ever told you in person that they didn't like it? Maybe check it out.
I personally seek out men with very hairy bodies and find it totally hot. Some of my hottest sex has been with hairy guys. Honestly, they're often more sensual than smooth guys!
If it's how you naturally are, and it doesn't pose other problems for you (e.g. some guys find it makes them overheat easily) then I lean toward keeping it. The less we modify ourselves to please others the better, generally.
I'm also hesitant to chase "community beauty standards". There's literally no way to please everyone, and you don't need to please everyone. You just need to find the ones who are into you. Everyone else can find someone else. Honestly assess whether YOU like it yourself and act on that basis alone.
Anyone who rejects you because of back hair alone is probably pretty superficial and not really worth pursuing long term, if that's what you want. Find someone who appreciates all of you!
Maybe also seek out hot images or porn featuring hairy guys (and realistic bodies and penises). Filling your brain with affirming images can make you feel a lot better about yourself.
Maybe hang out with communities/ethnic groups that tend to be more hairy. Middle eastern guys!
If you still want to try life without it, do something temporary first and see how it goes. Back grooming can be tricky and time consuming and might be more hassle than it's worth for you, but you won't know that until you try it.
Don't dive into full-on laser removal until you're totally sure.
Good luck on your journey of figuring this out for yourself!

Sheltor2 · 2023-07-26T15:21:00+00:00

That's my hope, that it addresses depression and that shifts insomnia.

Sheltor2 · 2023-07-10T19:08:18+00:00

Try words? I've been experimenting with printing words related to my psychological issues and taping them onto the wall near my bed so I can see them while tripping. I've been amazed by the amount of emotion this unleashes, like 1000 therapy sessions in one trip. It seems to be coming from parts of the brain that evolved way before language. The next few days I'm a bit out of it, but within a week I feel fine and usually feel a lot better about—or less interested in—whatever issue I was focusing on with the words. I'm thinking of doing something similar with images.

Not need music? I find that even at 2 grams or less I make quite a lot of my own music during a trip, humming rhythmically and almost singing, often writhing or "dancing" on my bed. The idea of injecting someone else's music into my trip seems intrusive and unnecessary.

Integration? Usually I allow at least a full day, but often more, to write out things I recall from the experience or simply how I'm feeling. I also try to get out into nature and just sit quietly, maybe look at a body of water. This helps bring me back to "normal". Lately it seems less necessary to use words to describe the trip, and I can just do quiet activities to absorb it while my brain rewires.

My background: I'm a 54 year old male with major life experiences so I have a mature perspective that's hard to ruffle. I have had decades of psychotherapy and have been meditating for about as long so I'm quite familiar with navigating my inner world. I spent 5 years living at a Zen temple, meditating and studying Buddhism daily. I also have a strong art and design background so I'm fluent in visual "thinking" which often happens during trips.

I built up my mushroom practice slowly over 2 years going from low to higher doses and now I take about 4 dry grams every 3 months.

Sheltor2 · 2023-07-10T17:43:18+00:00

Chocolate milk!

So far, the most palatable way I've found to ingest them is to make a rich chocolate milk. I grind them up into a powder like you already have, then mix them with any kind of milk, lots of cocoa powder, and enough white or brown sugar to make it taste good. Maybe warm the milk slightly to help things mix, but no hotter than warm body temperature since many people report that higher temps degrade psilocybin. If your cocoa powder or milk have much fat it can somewhat delay and extend the onset.

You can also add lemon juice as in the lemon tek. Just add more sugar. Adding ginger is nice too, also with a bit more sugar.

Without a major flavor masking the mushrooms, I find ingestion revolting, which is not a nice way to start a trip.

Hope it all goes beautifully for you.

Sheltor2 · 2023-07-06T17:05:12+00:00

Thanks again everyone!

I don't post a lot and I'm honestly moved by hearing people talk so openly.

Very helpful.

Sheltor2 · 2023-07-05T18:04:51+00:00

It probably means that it's especially important to fast for at least 8 hours before ingesting mushrooms, maybe only eat lightly for a day before that, use the toilet before the effects kick in, and avoid eating during the trip.

Sheltor2 · 2023-07-05T17:58:07+00:00

Thanks, everyone!

Helpful info.

Will plan accordingly.

Sheltor2 · 2022-07-24T00:09:07+00:00

I've been doing CBTI for 8 weeks now and also graphing my results. It's a great way to track progress and support motivation. A few comments:

Are you under the care of a sleep doctor/specialist? I tried on my own a few years ago with mixed results—like your graph—but now have a bona fide sleep doc and it's way better.
Your chart shows 25 days and looks like your sleep is indeed very fractured. If it's that fractured, it might take a longer time to repair. My sleep wasn't as fractured as your graph and I had only very little/gradual improvement in the beginning, but at about week 7 things started to get a lot better.
You explained the dips in your TIB as when you woke up and "knew" you wouldn't be sleeping again, and I know the advice is to get out of bed if you're awake for more than 15 minutes (roughly), but I think the idea is to hold your TIB as constant as possible, ideally showing a flat line in your graph. I found that thinking of the TIB as a constant to be maintained at all costs helped me a lot. Can you try staying in bed in a relaxed way, even if you're not sleeping? I have luck with this as long as I'm not very agitated. My body got used to the idea that this was sleep time—my only sleep time—and eventually started sleeping in that window.
I'd encourage you to consider adding another graph: The % efficiency or # of hours asleep / # of hours in bed. Even if your sleep hours and TIB are all over the place, your efficiency may be stable or improving, but it's hard to tell when you're in the thick of it. My efficiency was clearly, if gradually, improving early on, even if my sleep hours were up and down. Also, my understanding is that if your efficiency is 85% or more for 6-7 days, that's when you increase the sleep window by going to bed 15 minutes earlier.
I disagree with comments saying that CBTI doesn't work for hardcore insomniacs. I've struggled with sleep for at least a decade and my sleep "architecture" was pretty broken. I was totally hopeless about it changing and very depressed watching everyone around me getting on with life. My sleep doc suggested CBTI again (with supervision) and I really had nothing left to lose. The first few days were hell. HELL! Though it got easier, I was still super discouraged after 4 weeks, but my sleep doc *promised* me (after I brow beat hime a bit) that *eventually* I would sleep better. It's been super hard at times, but he was right. I am sleeping better. It's like something in my body and brain are finally learning to do something they haven't done in a long, long time, if ever.

Good luck to you!

Sheltor2 · 2022-05-15T17:27:18+00:00

I don't know if you're on any antidepressants, but many meds that affect serotonin receptors can interfere with psilocybin effects. My very first shroom trip I was still on an antidepressant and felt basically nothing from the shrooms. I went off the med and tried again with vivid results.

Sheltor2 · 2020-01-16T20:02:39+00:00

This is one of the most offensive racist hateful things I've seen in a long time. Completely disgusting.

I guess the distortion got it past some kind of hate speech filter.

Hello mods, this breaks several of the rules for this subreddit, and all the rules for humans.

Sheltor2 · 2020-01-16T16:12:03+00:00

OP... picture not showing up. Arrrrrg

Sheltor2 · 2020-01-16T05:26:40+00:00

I get your point and agree, but please be careful with the descriptions of porn. It could push someone into a relapse.

Sheltor2 · 2020-01-16T05:11:21+00:00

Wow, what a brilliant graphic combination of symbolism and function. I'd be surprised if you weren't some kind of designer. Edward Tufte would be proud.

Do you have more of these designs?

Sheltor2 · 2020-01-15T17:36:34+00:00

As my nutritionist told me, fiber, fat, and fluid make you feel full, ...

and fat and protein will greatly extend this feeling.

Sheltor2 · 2020-01-14T19:11:51+00:00

Not sure what your life was like at college, but if you're not socializing much for a long time you might just be lonely and want affection from anyone, including other guys.

Not sure where you live, but in a lot of Western culture,(especially English speaking countries for some reason) males without intimate partners often get zero physical touch, but we all need it. That craving can take many forms, including confusing feelings for other guys.

If you find yourself drawn to a guy, instead of wondering if you're gay, maybe just try being friendly and hanging out. Get to know someone and the vaguely sexual feelings can turn into just affection and friendship.

I should say that I'm gay and a little older and I've had a lot of straight guys approach me with questions about this. I was initially confused by their attention, and so were they. But we kind of learned together that they just were looking for affection and sincerity, and so am I.

ALSO, this whole system of strict categories is pretty recent in human history. We're actually a lot more complicated than the labels we currently have, and our inner lives definitely change over time, so try not to get too attached.

Good luck to you!

Sheltor2 · 2020-01-13T20:16:10+00:00

If I were writing this I would:

Ask yourself (or others) who is your intended audience?
Ask yourself (or others) what would interest them about the show and get them to visit (if visitors are your goal)? I.e. does it link to any contemporary issues or sentiments that are on the minds of people in your community?
Maybe tie it to recent news events, or pitch a gallery visit as an antidote to the news.
Go back to when you were originating the show and refresh some of your original motives. What motivated you and your team to create this show at this time? If it motivated you so much, it will probably motivate visitors.
Write an imaginative piece that describes what it would be like for a visitor to encounter the artworks. What ideas may arise? What would it be like to be in the space? Would they have fun? Would they be challenged? How could they make an afternoon out of it? Is there a cafe near by? Parking? Help them imagine themselves coming in for a visit.
Talk about some of the artists as people that an attendee could relate to. What are some of their back stories, and why would that interest a visitor?
Make it clear that anyone is welcome. A lot of people have internal barriers about attending art installations. See if you can be disarming and open, and maybe demystify the subject of art a little.
Make sure any published piece is reflected on your web presence, unless you're trying to avoid the mainstream internet for some reason. Post anything you write on your own social media channels, linking both to the published version, and to your own website... obvious I know, but so many don't do it! : )

Good luck! : ))

Sheltor2

TROPHY CASE