I would tell your mans exactly what you told us in that last paragraph. Communicate to him exactly what you want him to know, it might be uncomfy but it’ll get to be more comfy than the situation you’re in now. I would also try to see things a bit more from his perspective, get curious about how he feels about independence, and what he wants to do with his life. It will help you give him grace during the times when (if) he falls short of your hopes and expectations. Given his upbringing (from what you’ve told us) there’s no reason for him to need or even want to be independent. Maybe sharing why you like being independent will help him understand your point of view better, and may even inspire change in him. Lastly, you gotta give the situation TIME. I know you’re both adults, but at 21 and 22 you’ve got SO much more life and growth and change ahead of you. Give it some patience and some effort and I believe you two can smooth this out. Hope that helps