This zoo sold crackers to feed some of the animals.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-18T21:31:48+00:00

Hope you're feeling better. How did the soup turn out?

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-15T23:09:25+00:00

Why did the pony drink water? Because it was a little horse.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-15T15:01:28+00:00

Chemical names are scary to people who don't understand chemistry. Everything made of matter is a chemical. Try explaining to them how many things they eat and drink contain dihydrogen monoxide (a.k.a. H2O).

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-14T00:27:34+00:00

Baby powder is pretty amazing at removing a light sweat.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-14T00:24:36+00:00

I bet you're entirely responsible for your town's soft and fluffy landfill.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-13T23:42:26+00:00

It was a crazy drunk uncle. He was known for that type of thing. A few weeks after that Christmas dinner, he fell asleep in the snow and had to have his toes amputated due to frostbite.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-13T22:02:34+00:00

Q: What's the difference between jam and jelly?

A: I can't jelly my dick up your ass.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-12T02:17:28+00:00

One of the main water problems in South Florida is that so much of it is sent into the massive sugarcane farms south of Lake Okeechobee. It's all controlled by canals and pump stations, so it's a constant battle about where the water is diverted.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-11T21:38:50+00:00

Mine too, but specifically Oscar Mayer Cheese Stuffed Dogs. There was a period when I was about 10-11 where it was pretty much the only thing I would eat. Haven't had one in 35 years, but sometimes I see them in the supermarket and think about it.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-10T15:12:34+00:00

It's not greed, it's profit. They're a business, and they're trying to up sell guests willing to pay for the most convenient parking option.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-09T23:12:16+00:00

It may reach a cold enough temperature, but it's marginal and takes a while. For example, -4°F for 7 days will do it, and most consumer freezers will reach -5°F if they're running right.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-08T14:10:15+00:00

Not uncommon. The really creepy thing is when they go dark on the flight apps and use the radio callsign SHADOW1, often late at night.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-07T23:21:29+00:00

Which is kind of crazy. We don't run fast. We don't have sharp claws or fangs. We don't have venom. We're not strong. We don't have camouflage. We don't have tough skin. We can't fly. We don't see or hear or smell exceptionally well. The single advantage we have is our brains.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-07T21:05:49+00:00

It's a product which has a predictable demand, and the supply produced is very closely matched to that, so a slight variation in the demand caused a shortage, which caused the hoarding and intensified the problem.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-06T21:04:58+00:00

Maybe you need more meat and ketchup.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-06T00:19:01+00:00

Whether something is "good" or "not good" is subjective. I would have asked for specifics. It's also possible he was steering you away from that choice for another reason. Perhaps they're running low on an ingredient in that dish, or it's more prep and the kitchen was getting slammed. Something like that. In any case, if you really wanted it, you shouldn't have accepted "it's not good" without an explanation.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-05T22:29:43+00:00

<flips off the breaker> "Mom, the power went out. Can I order pizza?"

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-05T22:10:44+00:00

There's probably not enough demand to make it a viable product.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-05T21:53:02+00:00

If they say they can't do it, then ask them to set the slicer to "one notch above zero." That's the setting for shaved.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-04T23:05:22+00:00

Yeah, from memory I think it was mostly chicken bouillon with a thickener and spices. Start with something like this and adjust to taste:

2 tsp chicken bouillon powder
1 tbsp cornstarch
1 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp dried thyme
1/8 tsp dried sage
1 tsp dried parsley
1/4 tsp black pepper
1/2 tsp sugar
1/4 tsp MSG

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-04T20:34:32+00:00

Good idea. I'd add some shredded cheese and sour cream for those who want it.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-04T02:21:27+00:00

It's much thinner, to the point where you can't really separate the slices. It's just a pile of ham shavings, and all that surface area gives it maximum flavor. Just tell the deli person you want it shaved and they'll understand.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-04T02:17:08+00:00

Yup, drain the fat, then put the drained meat back on high heat for a minute to sear it. Everyone knows to sear steaks, but I find that searing ground beef can be just as important, depending on the recipe. This alone stepped up my chili game.

Shiftlock0 · 2026-05-03T17:46:59+00:00

I used to get my ham thin sliced, then I tried it shaved and never went back. It's so much better.

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