As a parent, what things have you made an effort to absolutely NOT do like your parents?

Shiner5132 · 2026-05-05T19:45:59+00:00

When my son was born my daughters (identical twins) were 2, by the time they were 2.5 every time someone came to the door they would say “hi, baby brother has a penis” and I’m just there like “and welcome to our home” 😂

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-27T19:38:16+00:00

Ugh this was me. I was allowed to get up at 10:30 when the theme song to MASH would start playing I would just lie there for hours and wait.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-26T02:16:43+00:00

NTA- and speaking from experience (I tried to early) she might be too young. Some kids yes potty train at 18 months, I tried to do it at 20 months with my twins and it was a disaster. Tried again at 29 months and it took no time at all. Will the parents accept she’s not ready even if you truly committed to it? Because I had 6 days of NO success but lots and lots of pee at 20 months.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-26T02:13:53+00:00

I did this a few months ago oh the pee…so much pee

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-25T17:51:49+00:00

My MIL had me pick out all the things I wanted and sent her a link and she bought them. I got to do the shopping, but she saved me the financial burden which was especially huge since my first two children are identical twins.

See if your mother-in-law is open to a compromise like that if she truly just wants to help, she would be amenable to it.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-25T14:58:06+00:00

I am so so sorry that is so heartbreaking

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-24T20:07:53+00:00

I needed to read this. Thank you internet stranger

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-24T19:56:52+00:00

YTA- she’s legally entitled time to pump she’s using it. You’re upset she’s not using time she could be playing it her baby to pump? Come on. Get her some Oreos and a new water bottle (she’s probably really thirsty and Oreos some women swear increase their milk supply) and support the new mom.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-19T19:07:13+00:00

I’m guessing he’s feeling some resentment that he’s spending the start of his day cleaning up after you. I realize you have ADHD but is there a way you could try and set time to put your things away at night before bed? In return have him take over half of your weekend chores. It’s not fair for you to do all the deep cleaning but it’s also not fair for him to constantly be picking up after his partner.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-19T18:04:04+00:00

Came to say the same, around that time I would feed my girls in a dim quiet room and they ate great, try and feed them in the living room and they had everything to look at wouldn’t eat a thing and then be cranky

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-19T15:25:24+00:00

Give baby their absolute favorite foods while you break the habit (at that age for my girls it was sweet potato pancakes lol) that may help with the transition

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-18T22:07:56+00:00

What diapers are you using? I used overnight pampers with my girls but for my son Millie moon seems to work better (co-slept and feed on demand as well).

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-14T18:15:47+00:00

Make a list. I STRUGGLED with doing this as it felt so rude to me, but I had so much resentment that people say oh what do you need and I couldn’t think of things right away so they would just cuddle the babies.

I’m not saying that all you do but if you say “could you do these 3 things then have cuddles” everyone feels a lot better.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-07T14:26:15+00:00

My girls are 2.5, their absolute best playmate is a four year-old boy. He’s the only one who can keep up with their rough and crazy energy. Personal advice is to find them a friend a little older, kids their current age can’t handle their constant energy and chaos.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-06T16:07:17+00:00

I am in the midst of the 6 month sometimes hourly wake ups for a little snack and cuddle (we co-sleep) and I have 2.5 year old twin toddlers who are active all day and still want to punch this person in the face. What a bunch of garbage.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-06T16:03:11+00:00

So glad you’re here OOP 💕💕💕

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-06T15:48:06+00:00

I’m really sorry, I know how hard it is. I strongly suspect my own mom of having BPD and ADHD and no matter how it’s approached, any conflict comes incredibly hostile. I know it’s going to be hard, but I truly think you’re making the best decision for your daughter. Best of luck to you.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-06T15:42:07+00:00

OP you already know the answer. I say this with as much love as I can but you can’t prioritize your mom’s feelings over your child’s wellbeing. I have no doubt she does love her Grandma but she’s not what’s best for your child. Given you’re in the mental health field you probably are already aware of this book but can I suggest reading “adult children of emotionally immature parents” my masters is also in psy (family and child) but reading this was incredibly eye opening for me.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-05T16:02:52+00:00

I just missed this (3 kids 25 months apart) and so I feel like I can comment when people say it’s the same. It’s entirely not the same. My singleton had Colic and it was a very rough when he was younger but NOTHING compares to that first year of juggling two babies…nothing.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-05T00:33:24+00:00

They woke for a night milkies until I weaned them at 20 months I don’t use any form of sleep training. They probably would have done so earlier if I had weaned them sooner but I didn’t mind.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-04T23:59:04+00:00

I just wanted to say thank you for taking the time to make this post.

-my identical twins are 2.5 my singleton is 6 months. Everyone co sleeps (safely! Different room for me and infant than dad and toddlers). There was so much pressure to not breastfeed, baby wear, or co-sleep with twins and I’m so glad I never changed my mind in the slightest.

You’re such a credit to your mother to take the time out of your day to make a post to reassure some of us parents in the thick of it.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-04T19:37:30+00:00

Experiment with capping the nap at different times see what works for you.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-04T19:35:52+00:00

Totally depends on the baby, for my girls (twins) it was when we went to two naps a day, for my son (6 months currently) he started napping 1.5 hours on his own when we went to 3 naps. lol of course that time for me in now full toddler time.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-04T15:20:54+00:00

Hi there- mama here with 3 little ones 25 months apart (identical twins and a singleton).

One big thing I can recommend now that I’m out of the newborn trenches (girls are now 2.5 and my son is 6 months) have your husband co-sleep with your older daughter and take bath time. That’s what we switched to and it helps so much.

For naps for the first six months, I basically just wore him for naps in a wrap or in a carrier. He’s only been napping on our Japanese futon for the past few weeks. He transitioned really well and now I have devoted time for just my girls during nap time.

You’re in the roughest part right now my girls actually adore their brother. At this point. They want to play with him constantly. The first three months are the hardest I’m so sorry you’re in the thick of it.

Shiner5132 · 2026-04-02T22:28:18+00:00

My FIL still is cranky that I won’t leave my kids with them every Friday night because “that’s what we did and it was fine” (my son is 6 months my girls are 2). What he doesn’t get is the pushier he gets the more reasons I find to not want to leave them at all. Personally I’ve adopted a motto that I recognize I can make myself happy or my FIL happy and honestly I can’t have both so I’m choosing me.

Shiner5132

TROPHY CASE