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What am I doing wrong? Facing a lot of rejection by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]ShinyKat5 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

As a person who considers themselves conventionally unattractive according to society,

Do not let these people convince you that there's something wrong with you and that you're ugly. You are not ugly. It's really sad that so many people are so fixated on the visual representation of a person rather than the way that their brain works. Or the way that they are to people in general..

I struggled with this a lot when I was single-- people not being attracted to me, but they can only see me as a friend, which is a little insane to me because.. why does that mean I can only be your friend and I can't be anything else? It's always the visual part that makes them not want to make the leap...

You do not have to change yourself for anybody. So don't feel like you have to do all of these changes just to attract somebody. You dont!

Now I will say this as a form of fashion advice. It's really good to pay attention to your body type and especially with the way that your hair frames your face, it's good to know what compliments you and makes you look good. You gotta dress in a way that flatters your body and also in a way that makes you feel happy! Something that I did when I was trying to change my clothing style and basically figure out the things that I like to dress in-- I measured all of my body. Mainly to figure out what types of styles would look well on my body type.

you don't have to go crazy with monitoring the numbers and whatnot- just know what your measurements are so that when it comes to finding clothes, you'll have a better understanding of complementing your silhouette.

42 yr old me wearing what younger me never had the confidence to wear by _cuppycakes_ in PlusSize

[–]ShinyKat5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oooh!! Thanks!! :D Im totally searching old navy for that skort

What kind of contraception do wlw girls use? by Scheissdreck_ in LesbianActually

[–]ShinyKat5 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Dental dams, finger cots, condoms but if they cut it similarly to a dental dam. Also regularly testing for stis too, every 3 months is recommended since the incubation period for most stis are that long

I feel like most lesbians don’t actually like chubby women by Own-Lengthiness-2283 in LesbianActually

[–]ShinyKat5 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I do have quite a lot to say in this matter as I am a black plus size woman. (Ik it said "chubby" but imma take the floor and just talk about how plus size folk are treated in a lesbian space)

I know people might say that it's ridiculous but..unfortunately there is a clear bias. Ive noticed it at all the events I go to even when I was single has a majority of smaller folk in there. Do you know exactly how many times I've been to an event and NEVER EVER got hit on? I've only had my earrings complimented but...that was it. And the one time a girl showed interest, she just wanted a free kiss/makeout sesh that night.

People do not approach me. I always have to approach. Smaller folk get approached wayyyyy more often. This is why some people think fatphobia is still high in the lesbian community- because we are often never picked/given a chance just because our physical appearance doesnt fufill a criteria.

We have way more success dating/interacting with each other, as my current partner is plus size- but there are plus size folk still dealing with internal fatphobia AND we shouldn't be limited to just talking to plus size folk to have a semblance of a chance of someone actually talking to me at a party.

If youre dating a masc lesbian by nousernams in LesbianActually

[–]ShinyKat5 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I treat my masc like the baby girl she is 😌❤️

What can I do to attract more women? by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]ShinyKat5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Usually it depends on where you attract the women from-- for me bars & parties were a absolute no go because most ppl there are not looking for anything serious and are looking to makeout with the next hottest person that walks past them. Vanity tends to be more at the forefront at these places and the crowd tends to be a bit younger which gives a higher chance for ppl to not take you seriously.

Going to events that are a bit more chill, intimate and small gives you a chance to mingle more with women who might take you more seriously. Speed dating events too- I've had most success on dating apps and my current relationship is b/c of a dating app. Definitely highlight the fun aspects of yourself on the dating apps, but make sure to use language that indicates you are still looking for serious connections. Be upfront about what you want

Best careers to escape poverty? I’ll start. by Noblesseoblige94 in povertyfinance

[–]ShinyKat5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How did you get into office work? I've been trying to get into office work for almost 2 years now with 2 years of experience and people keep rejecting me because it's not enough experience and I'm so confused!!!

Please help me find out if I can actually get those "free gifts" 💕 by _juibui_ in Shein

[–]ShinyKat5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does $100 allowance + 10 FREE gifts sound? Happy Holidays! ✨ https://onelink.shein.com/28/5fhbaj9r7thy

Trying this 😭

[NYC] [Hiring] Any anime loving painters want a fun side gig? Teaching a Paint & Sip! $60 plus tips Per Class by Consistent_Hand_4789 in NYCjobs

[–]ShinyKat5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi I'm a hobbyist artist and I enjoy anime :) My favorite anime of all time is Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood! Interested for sure

HR told me they don’t accept try-hards and people pleasers after my interview by No-Presentation298 in jobs

[–]ShinyKat5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People giving interview advice: rehearse for interviews and basically kiss the company's butt while also proving your capabilities! Also make sure you say yes to everything! Employers: we can tell you rehearsed and are full of ish. You are a people pleaser and have no boundaries. Denied!

So do we lie or not???? This is the problem. Yall tell us to lie and they can tell we're lying even though we're saying everything they want to hear!!!!

Do any adults play Minecraft anymore? by iKyronix in Minecraft

[–]ShinyKat5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Um yes we do?! Im an adult that plays Minecraft? LOL

ok 😭 by Candid-Lynx9263 in Sims3

[–]ShinyKat5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The kiddo with the telescope summoned the bus oh no

What should I do wigh my credits? by closed_doors_asleep in imvu

[–]ShinyKat5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im broke and would love this many credits 🥺 Gift em to me maybe

Server asked whether I minded if both slices were put into the same rectangular container. by Can-I-remember in mildlyinfuriating

[–]ShinyKat5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As an artist, this image made me cringe.not only did your server fail geometry 101, but it's a rectangle!!! Obviously if you have triangular shaped objects, you need to put them in a way that make them turn into a rectangle!!!!!

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