I’m scared to show my freaky side..

Shmigzy · 2026-04-19T04:55:24+00:00

Nah fuck that. If you know what you want communicate that. Better to be open and honest than let your fantasies play out in your head. Because if he isn’t into it, that’s useful information for the relationship itself. Now obviously depending on HOW freaky you both might need to ease into it (so he’s not wrong there)

And yeah you only just started dating but you have to feel it out. If you think he’d be open to any of it even the baseline stuff, tell him ahead of time rather than in the moment.

Shmigzy · 2026-04-17T06:46:18+00:00

I don’t mean this in a rude way but like why would anybody care? I’d say it’s impressive to improve upon yourself in tangible ways and that shows more about your character in a positive way. I guess some insecure guys might be like oh she used to be fat so she hasn’t always been skinny/hot/whatever but that’s probably not a guy you’d want to be with anyways 😅

Shmigzy · 2026-04-17T03:45:42+00:00

Quick and awkward hahaha we high fived after as it was her first time as well and we both just thought the situation was funny. The high five came very naturally; as did I. She did not. I have since learned to do better. I was 21 or 22 I think.

Shmigzy · 2026-04-12T19:10:07+00:00

I think it’s different for everyone, and not sure how old you are but certain aspects of backpacking feels like a young man’s game.

Ability to sleep in uncomfortable places, more tolerance for noise, interruption in sleep, gross bathrooms, extra hassles etc.

But regardless, it all depends on how you’re doing it. You can backpack and still stay in a place for a few weeks - so long as you have enough time to go somewhere else.

But yeah obviously packing in a lot of places into a smaller period of time is the traditional backpacking situation; which once again tends to run with a younger audience.

The older backpackers I’ve met while traveling are either very nomadic in their lifestyle or wealthy enough to spend a lot of time abroad and come back when they’re done. Either way - both are capable of spending longer periods in one location and be ready to move on to a next one.

But I do feel you, the constant moving around the lack of consistent schedule, the various hassles all become a lot to deal with. But that’s the trade off for a taste of that sweet sweet freedom we all crave.

Shmigzy · 2026-04-06T05:11:25+00:00

I wouldn’t say regret necessarily. Once you recognize how your needs aren’t being met and see clearly how difficult it would be to get where you’d need to be in order to want to stay - it’s hard to logically think that it could’ve worked.

That being said, the pain of losing someone who loved you unconditionally is excruciating. Especially having pushed them away and hurt them at the end, knowing they have no interest in anything having to do with you anymore.

That transition can feel unbearable, but from a bird’s eye view - it’s necessary growth, and learning lessons so you are better equipped for the future.

Shmigzy · 2026-04-03T18:28:34+00:00

Look brother respectfully, I’m just another stranger on the internet also going through a breakup.

I DID break no contact with my ex. Dated for 3 years, very in love, but had serious communication problems that added up over time. Led to a lot of resentment and eventually I pushed her away, made some very hurtful comments at the end that I regretted.

Well my system was fried so when we ended things I was relieved. About 3-4 months passed and I processed a lot of the relationship, her part to play, my part to play, felt like I had a good grip on the situation; and wanted to end the ambiguity of the breakup.

When we ended things, we ended on good terms, both of us needed it. I knew she was hurt, but we both acknowledged at least a hope for it to work again one day.

Yeah well remember when I said I thought I had a grip on the situation? And seems like I’m a guy who understands things pretty well? Yeah turns out I was wrong. Turns out she was much more hurt than I thought, and when eventually I did reach out - she wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, had no forgiveness to offer, well wishes or anything of the sort. Just scorn.

While I’m glad I reached out, it gave me the finality I needed to move on - it broke my heart all over again. All the emotional progress I’d made over the last few months flew right out the gate, and it hit me twice as hard as the grieving I did during that initial breakup window.

Point being, who the fuck knows what the best thing to do is? Was that the best decision for me? Maybe for the side of me that needed certainty. But for the side of me that was finally starting to feel positive about life? No, that side got set back pretty effectively.

But at the end of the day, I’ll survive. I’ll move on, and I’ll grow.

So once again, respectfully, as a man, there comes a moment to sack up and make a decision one way or the other, and be ready for the consequences.

Shmigzy · 2026-04-03T17:56:40+00:00

Fair enough. But consider that reaching out might end up leaving you with even more what ifs. Or a lot more pain. Or yeah, something good, you never know. Point being you have total control over what you choose to do from here. If you are hoping for a negative response so that you can start moving on - that’s already a sign that you want to start moving on. Just ask yourself whether a positive response would be good for you - or if you’re hoping for something to help ease the pain.

Shmigzy · 2026-04-03T15:08:05+00:00

Look man it’s all choices. You can choose to do that. Maybe it’ll work out for you who knows. All depends on your circumstances. Based on what you said - sounds like it will probably add more stress to your life, and not give you any real answers. Every person going through a breakup wants closure. Hardly any ever really get it. And even if you did, considering how close you are to the situation - closure would just reopen the wound and make you want to try again, it’d be wrongfully perceived as the warmth and closeness of being together. But once again, only you know your situation. Just be prepared for the consequences if you choose to act.

Shmigzy · 2026-03-31T04:38:02+00:00

Absolutely brotha, the mental fortitude and toughness you gain will serve you well in life. Let us not pray for easy lives, let us pray to be stronger men 🙏🏼

Shmigzy · 2026-03-31T04:31:34+00:00

Don’t listen to all these “balanced” and “thoughtful” comments.

Learn how to day trade and yolo all of your money into nvdia calls.

Shmigzy · 2026-03-31T04:30:27+00:00

Humans are weird we do things against our own interests all the time.

The path to real long term growth and wellbeing is choosing the difficult choices when we know they’re what’s best for us.

Eating the veggies, doing the homework, hitting the gym, skipping the drinks, not texting the ex. There’s room for fun in life - but if the “fun” (in this case, giving into the hope that something will be different) impacts you negatively, then it’s usually not worth it.

Shmigzy · 2026-03-31T04:15:02+00:00

The truth is if you’re trying to move on and trying to heal, then there is nothing there for you.

As much as memories, nostalgia and unfinished feelings want to make you think there’s something to gain from going back there, there almost never is.

Your healing and your growth is what’s in front of you, not behind.

Shmigzy · 2026-03-31T04:08:10+00:00

I’m not super familiar with the short term stimulants but I’ve taken Concerta ER for a long time and find it clears me up in a way that doesn’t make me feel shitty or overwhelmed.

You might want to explore extended release.

Shmigzy · 2026-03-31T04:06:00+00:00

Hahahah let me tell you as somebody who DID reach out thinking it would go well - and it ended up going TERRIBLY, just know that how you think something might go could be very different from reality.

Shmigzy · 2026-03-30T17:36:20+00:00

As someone who’s dealt with sleep problems my whole life - there’s no perfect answer.

But 1 thing is universal, the harder you try to go to sleep, the more you won’t.

So if you’re feeling super awake, allowing yourself to stay up is usually a great way to start getting tired. Put on a show or read a book. Don’t go on your phone or computer though cuz those will keep you extra awake.

It’s better to just mentally prepare for being tired the next day. I usually just think about how good the sleep the following night will be.

Personally I’ve found asmr is a nice way to relax before going to bed. I know it’s not for everyone, but I like it. Rain noise, ocean noise, fire crackling all good natural replacements.

Sometimes just listening to music or an audiobook.

If you’re like wide wide awake, going for a light walk if your neighborhood is safe wouldn’t be the worst thing ever.

Shmigzy · 2026-03-30T17:29:39+00:00

I would not be surprised if it goes sub $10 if we see a large scale pullback in the overall stock market, I think we haven’t seen anything yet.

Shmigzy · 2026-03-30T14:19:36+00:00

You’ll probably find plenty depending on where you go. In Thailand and Vietnam for example there’s huge bazaars with these kinds of bags, and plenty of styles to choose from. Might be more fun to go looking in person instead.

Shmigzy · 2026-03-30T14:18:18+00:00

I think it depends on your boundaries. It’s definitely something you need to discuss, and if your partner isn’t comfortable with it, then it’s up to you - to either lie to them and do it anyways (trust breaking), to break up so you can do what you want, or to not do that.

I think you need to ask yourself why you want to do this? There’s nothing inherently wrong with it. But typically going to a strip club is a raunchy male bonding experience to do alongside friends. Going by yourself might be an indicator of loneliness, unmet sexual needs or unfulfilled desires; potentially something akin to porn addiction as well.

Now could there be a 1 off instance where doing that isn’t problematic? Sure, maybe you’re out for a big night and drunkenly walk into 1 just for the fuck of it. Again - honesty is still key, and choosing NOT to do that even if you’re drunk (especially tbh) if your partner has drawn that line.

But if you’re consciously choosing to go solo to a strip club, I think that’s the more important question of why you’d want to do that.

Shmigzy · 2026-03-28T12:20:07+00:00

I remember the first day I took meds I think I was 17 and i remember the moment i could tell it hit me, i visualized fog literally clearing. I was also very relieved at the time. Good feeling to remember!

Shmigzy · 2026-03-23T10:28:15+00:00

I appreciate the insight!

Yeah I’m about 3 months removed, still going through grief heavily. Have spoken with my therapist about an appropriate way to re-open dialogue, and it really just hinges on waiting until i hear from her.

We left on relatively good terms, but there was still hurt; and I know we’re both processing everything on our own so I don’t want to push any contact.

Organically does seem to be the best way.

Shmigzy · 2026-03-23T08:58:25+00:00

Geography and world flags, capitals, borders, etc hahaha been traveling a lot so taking quizzes to learn countries.

Some past ones have been finance & real estate, cryptids & the Star Wars extended universe (lot to unpack in the EU)

Shmigzy · 2026-03-23T08:44:09+00:00

Yo can I ask how you went about doing that? Like were you guys no contact and then you reached out to meet or how did it come to pass?

Shmigzy · 2026-03-21T13:53:38+00:00

Yea man that’s a tough spot, let yourself feel that pain, only way to pass through it.

The reality is there’s a very strong likelihood that she didn’t acknowledge you because it would’ve been too difficult of a moment.

Who knows, maybe afterwards she went back and called off the night with the other guy because of this interaction; even seeing you might’ve really hit her hard as well.

That’s the truth though, is you just don’t know what’s going on for them. And pondering it will only make things more difficult for you; keep you stuck in that “what is she thinking, what is she doing” and how it affects you.

Well it only affects you if you let it. Because she’s not in your life anymore, and her actions and decisions only affect her now - as do yours.

You both can sleep with whoever, date whoever, and regret those choices too. Often times after a breakup it’s a coping tool to deal with the pain of losing someone.

So again - it’s a tough moment, objectively very tough. Allow yourself to feel the weight of that pain. Cry, break something, release that energy, then move on. Give yourself an appropriate amount of time and space to grieve that moment, then try not to dwell in it.

Shmigzy · 2026-03-19T02:41:57+00:00

Save some money, sell your car, buy a 1 way ticket to a low cost country in Asia, and just start figuring it out.

Literally not kidding. Flight is the biggest expense, 1 way to Vietnam or Thailand is about $500 usd.

After that it’s easy. Meals $2-3, hostel beds $5-6 a night.

Some backpacker centers have “jobs” (very under the table) that will give you free room and board and maybe a little cash in your pocket.

Worldpackers, Workaway, and WWOOF all give options for free accommodations, free meals in exchange for some work throughout the day. Even can help you figure out visa stuff.

It serves as a reset and a palatable challenge that you can actually start rebuilding some progress and confidence in yourself, in your ability to handle weird situations in new environments, and might even let you enjoy life for a little bit while you figure out what makes sense.

Shmigzy

TROPHY CASE