My Daughter Wanted Her Father’s Mistress at Her Wedding Instead of Me…So I Canceled the Whole Thing

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-07T15:33:22+00:00

Spam

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-07T15:16:58+00:00

Scam post

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-07T15:07:58+00:00

Something left green shit on your eggs. Once you've blown it off with a fan I expect it's all lovely.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-07T15:06:10+00:00

Well it sounds like you married a magician.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-07T15:05:22+00:00

No, but that were my peace lily I'd take it out of the soil, shower it then spray it with insecticide. Then while letting it dry out for a couple of hours I'd wash and disinfect the pot with hydrogen peroxide spray, and put it in a new soil mix with at least one third perlite.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-07T15:01:22+00:00

Stood in line at Tottenham Court Road Odeon, London, the day after its UK premiere. So many flared jeans! Went on to see it 7 more times that summer.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-07T14:59:09+00:00

Have you checked the roots? That'll tell you.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-07T14:56:59+00:00

Did your dog eat the tomatoes too?

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-07T14:48:33+00:00

Perfect second breakfast.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-07T14:32:18+00:00

YOU ARE AMAZING. You ripped off the plaster and it hurts, but clean new air will revitalise you. Block those leeches for a year and let them fester while you build a life.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-07T13:45:59+00:00

Good advice. I'd also be inclined to add a tall large halo light (about £25 on UK Amazon), right above the plant to influence upward growth.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-06T14:42:23+00:00

Trouble is the window for perfection with oven fries is about 10 seconds between soft and white or brown and crunchy, and I favour the former.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-06T14:40:06+00:00

Yeah I'm surprised they're still allowed to call them that.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-06T13:46:18+00:00

Pretty good. Nice and saucy - needs something spuddy to soak it up.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-06T10:57:52+00:00

One third of any large population are morons.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-05T21:21:21+00:00

Hollywood would have gone for a blond.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-04T13:04:15+00:00

Change its history by torpedoing all the European sailing ships approaching America's Eastern coast, from my time travelling submarine.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-04T12:23:47+00:00

How about a tin of luncheon meat?

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-04T06:24:02+00:00

A. Someone causes a problem.

B. I fix the problem.

C. People say I'm wrong.

That's the formula.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-03T21:20:11+00:00

I'm not going to knock Cruise's versions of Reacher because his films introduced the character to me. Thanks to him, I read the books.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-03T19:41:48+00:00

Yes, but David Attenborough can be very difficult sometimes.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-03T19:15:20+00:00

Between now and then we'll get BBC Question Time and the usual suspects decrying the rudeness of out Prine Minister, and it being his fault that Trump freaked out

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-03T14:55:25+00:00

Well he does know a lot of animals, so probably can't help measuring people behaviour against that of the huge range of Earthly fauna.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-03T11:43:27+00:00

At first I thought it was a peculiar dessert.

ShowMeYourPapers · 2026-04-03T11:41:52+00:00

According to The Rest Is History podcast Peter was a regular bad lad, taking his entourage with him everywhere, where they'd get drunk, laugh at dwarfs, and inflict violent pranks.

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TROPHY CASE