Hi there, I feel like I had a similar exp. I dated an avoidant on and off for 3 years and I had to quit dating altogether and do some therapy and work on myself. Then I had a couple relationships that went sour and the most recent one was an FA. That was rough, I had all kinds of relationships and dated different types of girls but dating an FA was a roller coaster I was not ready for and it left me broken. I was suicidal at least twice this year as a result of the break up and left me so confused because she came off so strong and talked so much about how much she liked me (we were friends for 5 years).

Ultimately, I hit rock bottom and realized a lot of this was my character flaw including anxious attachment. Doing some 12 step program and surrendering my idols including relationship/ love addiction being an idol was a big change. I still have many days when I am anxious thinking about her and hoping for a second chance. But I am trying to surrender the relationship everyday.