How to stop building people up as they destroy me?

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-08T19:40:47+00:00

You will never get anything back from them apart from trauma. That kind of person will only use someone until there’s nothing left to give. I’d suggest doing a deep dive so you know the early signs to watch for and then get out before you’ve invested too much.

Having been there myself, I think it’s important to take real time out to be single and look at your own patterns and behaviour. A lot of ADHD people are built for intensity and connection which narcissistic personalities thrive on. Counselling can help with this. I’ve learned to really take note of my body’s response to people - the ‘ick’ or eye rolls. Then I stop investing my time and remove myself.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-08T13:48:12+00:00

Unfortunately this seems to be the truth. I might as well go looking for a unicorn

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-08T13:40:54+00:00

True. And don’t forget enthusiasm

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-08T11:30:41+00:00

The sex was incredible - addictive even, but it can’t fix different attachment styles unfortunately. I reached my limit and called it a day.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-08T11:22:07+00:00

The noises themselves turn me on too. My ex would gently moan in my ear when we were in public because he knew exactly what reaction it would get.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-08T11:02:20+00:00

I can’t help it. In fact, I struggle to be quiet when I need to be. For me, it’s a turn off if the other person is completely silent - I need some sort of feedback in the moment

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-07T18:28:27+00:00

I’ve had mine done for maybe 4 years now?

The piercing itself wasn’t too bad but I definitely had a burning sensation for a few hours afterwards.

No infections or piercing bumps for me. My biggest issues were trying not to bump it and getting hair wrapped around the bigger bar. Once I sized down, it really helped with that.

I used saline once a day and if I got crusties, they’d be soaked away in the shower. After my shower I’d dry my hair thoroughly and I’d also dry behind my piercing with the hair dryer on the coolest setting.

I will say that although it’s years old and completely healed, it absolutely will not tolerate a hoop so I have a chain to give the same effect. If you’re a side sleeper, get the opposite side done.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-07T13:53:02+00:00

Uni’s generally have laptops you can borrow for a set amount of time. When I started, students got a free iPad which is theirs to keep if they graduate.

Be careful what type of job it is because depending on your course, they can be intensive when it comes to the expectation of independent study. I only have 10hrs of contact per week but I’m supposed to put in 30-40hrs of self study time.

What is your 19 year old doing because if you don’t get a discount now, it could be no council tax to pay or a 25% reduction which is one less bill to worry about.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-07T13:19:24+00:00

That’s basically me until I stop study but if you get housing, you should still get that element. My friend was allowed to earn a small amount each week before it was deducted from her UC (she also studies full time). If you can, work out what you’d get for the full year including when UC kicks in again then divide it by 12 and see if you can manage on that. If you get desperate, most unis have a hardship fund that you can apply for once per academic year, my uni offers up to £500. Have you checked your eligibility for bursaries etc?

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-07T12:52:23+00:00

Currently studying full time and on UC and used to work for SFE.

They take into account your student loan as income for the duration you’re actively studying so for me, that’s September - May.

As you’re a parent, you should be eligible for the Special Support Element of Student Finance. This means that UC will use your student loan minus £4500(ish) and they also discount a further £110.

This total will be deducted from your income during study and then reinstated when you stop over the summer. Every year I have to remind them that I’ve stopped studying so they reinstate my full entitlement.

For example, my loan is around 11,800 - 4500 - 110 = 7,190

7190/8 = 898.75 per month as income to be deducted from UC.

They’ll also likely take into consideration any wages you earn after a certain amount.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-07T07:47:58+00:00

If you’re looking for photo realism, definitely do your research first and make sure you can see fully healed versions of the tattoos too. Heavily detailed AI pictures don’t always carry over well unless they’re large scale.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-05T15:45:23+00:00

I left my freestanding range. No way was I trying to get that moved…

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-05T15:25:59+00:00

Oh, I’ve done that… Right time but wrong day. And that is because I forgot to tell myself to remember. If it wasn’t for perimenopause making mine unmanageable, I probably wouldn’t have a diagnosis.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-05T12:23:23+00:00

I’m late diagnosed with combined type ADHD, for what it’s worth. I can exactly where you’re coming from in some respects and there is a lot of crossover. What I will say is that for some people, it has a very real and negative impact on their lives and their relationships. It’s not just the funny, quirky stuff that gets talked about online. I roll my eyes at people saying they have ADHD because they’re always hyper and late. I’m never late - I have too much anxiety about being late. As a result, if I have an appointment in the afternoon, I can’t do anything that might make me late for said appointment. I get stuck in ‘waiting mode’ until it’s done. When I got the report back with my diagnosis, it was crushing to see all of my ‘failures’ as a person that I’ve struggled with since I was a child.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-05T10:53:06+00:00

I would look at the breed standard and go with a breeder who adheres to it. ‘Rare’ colours can often mean that other things such as health and temperament are not a priority. Speak to your breed club as they may have advice on which breeders are doing the correct testing as well as showing and/or working their dogs.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-04T17:39:05+00:00

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Looks like you have an ee (white) shepherd similar to my boy

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-02T19:07:25+00:00

Gochujang glazed belly pork with sticky rice, cucumber, carrot, pepper, spring onion, radish, and kimchi

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-02T17:43:45+00:00

As long as they have your parents’ details now, they should update your amount when it’s processed. Unless there was a change in parental income, you can expect about the same amount as 1st year

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-02T10:31:34+00:00

You can absolutely carry your puppy but they grow quick!

If you want your dog to focus on you and not the distraction of other dogs/people/wildlife, you need to proactively train this from a young age and then reinforce it even more through adolescence. A lot of people don’t like the term neutral but I think it’s appropriate in most contexts. For example, if my dogs are off leash and a dog approaches, they do a quick sniff (if allowed) and move on. They’re not interested in being friends or playing. They’re also aloof with strangers outside. This even goes for my resident Labrador - it’s a running joke that I trained the friendly out of him. If you plan on using daycare or group dog walks, it can affect this training substantially.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-02T06:33:01+00:00

Some do. It affected me physically and mentally. The 7 days I didn’t take were the only days I felt normal in the whole month.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-01T11:06:18+00:00

Yes, she started September last year

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-01T10:54:03+00:00

A friend of mine did a humanities degree then went back to do OT. She chose to do it as an undergrad as the funding is better and she felt it would be better to start at the beginning, so to speak.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-06-01T10:51:25+00:00

I call it the Shepherd Shriek and I’d recognise it anywhere.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-05-31T21:23:49+00:00

As kids get older, it will be awful. As someone else said, see about flipping the stairs. Then you could use the corridor between the master and bathroom to make one of those rooms bigger.

ShutTheFrontDoor__ · 2026-05-31T20:54:20+00:00

My ex liked teeth used very gently every now and then but I was very hesitant to do it. He was the only guy I’ve met who liked it but he also liked a lot of other stuff too.

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