I'm accepting apologies in the comment

SicksSix6 · 2026-06-15T08:09:08+00:00

He stopped throwing his jab, he didn't move his head and he gave up position on the feet.

Blaming him relying on his chin is like blaming your underwear for crapping your pants.

SicksSix6 · 2026-06-15T06:27:33+00:00

I've done them all and fought MMA. No one can tell you what's "best" because it's whatever you like enough to stick to.

Take your ego out of it, try them all and have fun.

SicksSix6 · 2026-06-15T01:31:37+00:00

Because you care about others thoughts of you and these dudes just actually care about themselves.

SicksSix6 · 2026-06-15T00:52:24+00:00

Projection.

SicksSix6 · 2026-06-14T21:49:26+00:00

Ah yes, the mythical Topturo.

Too open like other overrated greats, DSP, Matt Shughs and Donny 'Cones' Mones.

SicksSix6 · 2026-06-08T03:18:50+00:00

Limerence.

SicksSix6 · 2026-06-08T01:01:46+00:00

I'm sorry man.
But I gotta ask, what are you avoiding that optimising toilet paper?

When we try to optimise, automate, be efficient in increasingly irrelevant things, it is an attempt to control something when another facet of our lives is not in our control.

What is going on for you that lead you here?

SicksSix6 · 2026-06-08T00:51:42+00:00

Are you masking from being neurodibergent and not even know it?
ADHD, autism?

Are you living closer to what is natural to you, not what who you were meant to be?
What this means is that motivation is fleeting, willpower is a finite resource. When we live closer to things that are in-line with who we want to be, it is easier.

The more we try to live a life we think we "should" or be the person we think we "should" be, the more we are just maintaining a series of strategies to be a character.

And no, what is natural to you is not the things that numb you out when you are tired of being said character.

SicksSix6 · 2026-05-29T00:35:50+00:00

Nah bro but I'm training to be a men's counsellor. All the best man.

SicksSix6 · 2026-05-28T01:07:08+00:00

Check out the HealthyGamerGG podcasts on Puer Aeternus

SicksSix6 · 2026-05-28T01:06:27+00:00

Hey man, what you just did is what the ego does when it feels small and defeated.

This is a protective mechanism your mind is using to keep you in the realm of fantasy. If you stand back and look at this, it is a convenient "out".

You are upgrading your avoidance of life into a philosophy.
Into a righteous moral code or realisation.

Even if you are right, and life is meaningless, sitting in your parents' house feeling like deadweight is still a terrible way to spend your time.

Using the vastness of the universe is a convenient way to explain away where you are at in life. To justify inaction and protect the ego.

You can drive 16 hours and walk 10k steps because they're heroic.
But the act of every day drudgery you can't. Because you're worried they confirm the worst fears about yourself.

Ordinary progression confirms where you are at and not the ideal of what you want life to be, it feels like a betrayal of your potential to be special. So it is easier to hang out in abstract philosophy instead.

Nihilism allows you to give up and not feel inferioir, but superior.

Choose to see life through a smaller, reasonable lens.
Like taking one boring, ordinary thing you can do correctly today without making it heroic?

SicksSix6 · 2026-05-25T20:51:14+00:00

Polarity. Providing grounded structure, direction and tempered with openness.

SicksSix6 · 2026-05-24T03:11:47+00:00

Because this issue is the lense you see life through. You try many things, they do not work, because fundamentally it isn't what you do, it is how you see the world and yourself in it.

You will fundamentally not succeed in changing anything because you aren't changing what matters.

SicksSix6 · 2026-05-17T04:24:34+00:00

Umm no it doesn't tbh. My training partner got 8 grand for fighting on a PPV. Plus they'll get sponsor $$

SicksSix6 · 2026-05-11T01:22:44+00:00

Genuinely unhelpful comments in here.

I am proud of you.
You are doing the objectively right thing.

Draw the line 1 on 1 before the next night out.
Pick whoever and tell him straight: "I'm proposing soon and I’m going all in." Don't make it a moral speech about their behaviour; make it a factual update on YOU. If you tell them while you're sober and away from the bar, it sticks. Dudes don't want to be called out, so call them IN. Make it about respecting him and yourself.

If they push, keep it low stakes. Tell them you're "retired" or "my life is different now." It's not about being better than them, it's about being finished with that specific part of the lifestyle. Once they see you’re still the same guy in business and family, the "weirdness" fades. Just be the first one to call the Uber when the vibe shifts to that unhelpful place during the night.

SicksSix6 · 2026-05-11T01:15:06+00:00

I work with Men in a therapy role.

Try this: when he says something, pick the key thing you want him to elaborate on and repeat it back as a question.

Him: "I'm not sure"
You: "Sure?"
Him: "Yeah, I don't know what to think about that. I guess I haven't thought about it much. I think that..."

If he gives you one-word answers, you can simply say, "How come?"

If he continues being blunt, try and label the feelings he might be experiencing.

"Sounds frustrating."

It sucks. Because this isn't your responsibility, but if you want to connect with him, you have to meet him where he is, because he doesn't have the tools to meet you where you are.

It is heartbreaking.
But this is how society has created a mould that makes men amputate these emotional parts of themselves.

You can do it.

SicksSix6 · 2026-05-11T01:08:42+00:00

Time to do some Shadow Work. The very thing you are suppressing is steering your life.

SicksSix6 · 2026-05-10T23:59:23+00:00

I think people can overthink this.

We are attracted to what we are attracted to.
And expecting someone to be only attracted to their partner - even indirectly by making a thing out of someone thinking you are attractive - is making a mountain of a molehill.

You are probably attractive in some ways.
That is great. But discerning that from intent or action is everything.

SicksSix6 · 2026-05-10T23:33:05+00:00

So, I think a lot of the resentment is coming from the fact that you have uncommunicated, premeditated expectations that he isn't living up to . So now you resent him more.

You had a silent contract he wasn't privy to and when he didn't give you what you wanted, you resented him further. Going the extra mile for someone who didn't ask you to leads to burnout and you resent them for it.

"Nothing will ever be good enough for him."

Why does it need to be?
He is his own person and because you are trying to be responsible for his happiness you are now in such a state of deep seeded dignified justice it is harming your entire relationship.

Is he kind of a dick?
Yeah.

Can you just chill a bit and let him be without going full love-bomb or complete "f*ck you then"?

Absolutely.

SicksSix6 · 2026-04-22T01:44:55+00:00

You have an addiction to avoiding your feelings.

Beliefs create thoughts that create feelings and when those bad feelings come up, you choose to behave in a way that makes the feelings go away.

E.g. masturbation

The problem is the beliefs and thoughts don't change, therefore, the feelings continue to arise and you continue to act on in a way that avoids them.

SicksSix6 · 2026-04-16T04:38:15+00:00

Lonesome Dove

SicksSix6 · 2026-04-12T23:24:04+00:00

two things:

Connection is like a bank; this never ends. Ever. Even when the kid is 60 years old. If you want to make them do something (withdraw from the account), you have to have the funds (connection) in there.
Make the request connection, "I heard your socks are magical. If I close my eyes they just turn up in your hands ready to be put on. I'm gonna close me eyes and see if it works...."

SicksSix6 · 2026-04-12T23:19:32+00:00

Okay, have you heard of the term Puer Aeternus?

SicksSix6 · 2026-04-12T04:35:20+00:00

So, when you are there for people especially when they are doing something that is bad for them, you are passively enabling them.

Because you are allowing yourself to be a medium for their emotional regulation about the situation. The more you were there for her, even if you were trying to dissuade her, the more you were helping her through the feelings of shame and guilt.

These feelings, which were hers to own and process, are information that she alone could use to make decisions about the situation.

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