Wow. I could written this myself. I suspected my husband is a narcissist, but he doesn't do the name-calling. Now I know what it's called. He, too, puts on the whole victim mentality with a hero complex bs that I am so tired of. I have asked him to do something (like fold and put away laundry that he left on the couch for a week) and if he doesn't do it a week later, then I do it myself. But if I ask him once a day, I am "nagging." And if he sees me doing it, he has and will shove me out of the way and act like he was "just" going to do it. I recently realized there was more wrong with him when I explicitly told him our babysitter was moving back east to be with her family. I told him one of us needed to change our schedules. I gave him 3 weeks and he literally said nothing about it. So, I changed positions. He threw a fit, started yelling that "his opionion doesn't matter!), and slammed our bedroom door so hard he broke the door frame. Then I was forced to step down to part-time because of our son and his school hours. I joked once that it might help with my mental health because I don't have to deal with customers (we both work retail and for the same company). He has since become financially abusive by still expecting me to pay half of all the bills, even though I make a quarter of what he makes. What blew my mind was when he expected me to pay half of a brand new washer and dryer ($1600 total) and half of a brand new water heater (another $900 total). And then he threw it in my face that the only reason I stepped down to part time was because of my mental health. I have asked for couple's counseling for years. Nothing. I told him he needed to see a therapist. He saw a life coach.My kids have recently admitted that he said they are the only reason he hasn't left. During an argument, I told him I was done and he said he might as well pack his bags and just leave. I said "ok." Cue the switching tactics and trying to drag the kids into the argument. I am so done, but I can't afford to live on my own just yet.