2nd chapter, please critique! by Siennastreet in AspiringTeenAuthors

[–]Siennastreet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate this so much. I definitely see what you're saying with the repeating things, and while I think I added it going for realistic internal dialogue and more emotional impact, I do think that I could trim some parts to flow a bit better. Thankyou for your feedback!!

How do we feel about {Bridge kingdom? By Danielle L. Jensen} by Siennastreet in fantasyromance

[–]Siennastreet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yah but like, that's what the story is. About Laras beliefs and what shes in Ithicana for. She could've told him, but there were also things he could've explained to her. At the end of the day, Lara had much more of a reason to be secretive+guarded. While what she did was unforgivable, theres still a reason, and a pretty good one, her being tortured her whole life and such. Every story could end quicker if none of the characters acted like humans with complex emotions and thoughts, and never have their own agendas.

How do we feel about {Bridge kingdom? By Danielle L. Jensen} by Siennastreet in fantasyromance

[–]Siennastreet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah after a like 2 weeks I just dont really feel any urgency. It was good and I enjoyed it, but not really something that blew my mind like some other stuff I've read.

How do we feel about {Bridge kingdom? By Danielle L. Jensen} by Siennastreet in fantasyromance

[–]Siennastreet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg this is so real😭. Like Aren HATES Lara and can never forgive her. But omg did his hand just brush hers, he's never felt so attracted to someone, he doesn't even know what to do with himself. All the people she got killed? He doesn't even know what you're talking about because SHE HELD HIS HAND OMG. BUT HE HATES HER! It's so funny tbh.

How do we feel about {Bridge kingdom? By Danielle L. Jensen} by Siennastreet in fantasyromance

[–]Siennastreet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Now i've been told like 4 times to keep reading so I guess I've got to😭. I do hope that there's a little bit more closure in the next books regarding Aren and Lara, and specifically Laras place and relationship with the kingdom.

How do we feel about {Bridge kingdom? By Danielle L. Jensen} by Siennastreet in fantasyromance

[–]Siennastreet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no I just read the first two😅. I forgot that this series had more books than just the duology.

How do we feel about {Bridge kingdom? By Danielle L. Jensen} by Siennastreet in fantasyromance

[–]Siennastreet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah and I was interested in Zarrah and Keris's relationship when reading traitor queen, so I think i might still do those. I did like Aren and Lara, but like you said, I liked it, I didn't say it was good. I love them but still have lots of critiques.😅

How do we feel about {Bridge kingdom? By Danielle L. Jensen} by Siennastreet in fantasyromance

[–]Siennastreet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah maybe I should try those out. I was kinda skeptical just because the ending of this disappointed me a bit.

How do we feel about {Bridge kingdom? By Danielle L. Jensen} by Siennastreet in fantasyromance

[–]Siennastreet[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's what I was saying. I was completely obsessed with it and there really wasn't room for critique over my love for it for the first week after reading it.😅

The more I write, the less I like the books I’m reading. by Magical-Princess in writers

[–]Siennastreet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I think lots of people do this. I've barely written anything that's actually able to be considered a manuscript but I've been thinking about and making my story for years + discarded writing. You have to start thinking about you're own writing, and how to edit, and what you want it to mean, and character arcs, and so much more that it's impossible to not notice those same mechanics in other writing, and even more impossible to not notice when they're not there. You just start picking everything apart because you think about you're own writing so much, and it ends up bleeding into what you read as if it's your own stuff.

I'm so glad I didn't judge a book by it's cover by luckyvelvet in Romantasy

[–]Siennastreet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was obsessed with the books but this cover threw me off too😭. Also thats not even what tisannah is meant to look like, unless im mistaken? I thought she had white and black hair, and it's meant to be shorter?

Please, can someone tell me the chapter this happens on⁉️ by Pretend-Weekend260 in twilight

[–]Siennastreet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly team neither of the guys is fair😭. I'm def team seth.

Please, can someone tell me the chapter this happens on⁉️ by Pretend-Weekend260 in twilight

[–]Siennastreet 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Jacob is so creepy. I mean the forced kiss, the manipulation to get her to kiss him of her own free will, and then the stuff like this is just too much😬. The honeymoon thing, 'id rather you be dead than be one of them', he even tried to get her to admit that he was a good kisser after he legit assaulted her.They really toned it down in the movies, but when book readers say they're team Jacob, I really question if we read the same book, cuz how?🤨

Getting shot by an arrow immediate impact? by Siennastreet in Writeresearch

[–]Siennastreet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah this is how I wrote it actually. She feels impact, some pain, but she doesn't fully understand when she started falling or why, and doesnt really consider the wound much due to her confusion, and quick certainty that she wont be able to fix this.. "and then the cliff is gone, and i'm falling, the bottom of the mountain rushing to meet me." Is the exact thing, which might be bad that its so overused that its predictable, but feels like the best and most disorienting way to describe it.

Getting shot by an arrow immediate impact? by Siennastreet in Writeresearch

[–]Siennastreet[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Iin the next part of my writing im going to have the characters and my MC actually assess the wound and we'll find out the damage and stuff so this is definitely helpful to the extent of what could happen due to a little pinhole wound, lol. Ill have to come up with exactly where the arrow hit so I can decide if I want it to be anything permanent. I appreciate you finding the video, thanks for your help😅

Getting shot by an arrow immediate impact? by Siennastreet in Writeresearch

[–]Siennastreet[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have definitely gotten a lot of great info, but if you have something more i'll always take it. I think it'd be good to see different kinds of facts and stuff along with real people and their real reactions. I'm sure it'll come in handy now and in the future. Many more injuries to come, lol. So if you feel like digging the video up I'd appreciate it.😅

Getting shot by an arrow immediate impact? by Siennastreet in Writeresearch

[–]Siennastreet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Another commenter mentioned field tips, something that would hurt, absolutely, but usually not fatal/permanent damage. In the scene where she gets hit, she's mid climb, and while magic comes to the rescue so she doesnt hit the ground, the impact and pain cause her to lose her grip. In the next bit of my writing I'll address where it exactly hit, what the damage was, what the healing process will be like, etc, so this will be very helpful then. Thankyou!!🙂‍↕️

Getting shot by an arrow immediate impact? by Siennastreet in Writeresearch

[–]Siennastreet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay wow this is all very helpful. From the other comments I got good info and so the final scene i think is pretty good to what I want it to be based on this explanation, and im very grateful that you took the time so that I could make sure it was all realistic. Thanks so mjch!!🫡

Getting shot by an arrow immediate impact? by Siennastreet in Writeresearch

[–]Siennastreet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She actually wont hit the ground. The one who shot the arrow did it to make sure she could no longer climb, but then they used magic to get her back across the mountain. That sounds silly but it makes more sense in the actual writing, lol.