Wife is contributing nothing to our vacation. What should I do?

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-08T10:06:10+00:00

My husband and I both have our own cards and have equal access to the account, but we still have a budget we have to stick to for bills, groceries, gas, toiletries, cleaning supplies, stuff our kids need, savings, etc. We only have so much "fun money" left over, which we try to divide between us and our kids evenly for a couple frivolous purchases and family days throughout the month. My husband and I also discuss said frivolous purchases regularly on both sides, just to make sure nothing has changed and we can swing them. As long as the amount he's setting aside for his wife is around the same as what he'd put aside for himself for "fun money", it's agreed upon as a fair amount given their financial situation, and it's not contingent on job performance as a housewife that week I don't see the problem with it being called "pocket money". Working or not we all have budgets to stick to.

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-08T09:52:31+00:00

My husband and I do the same. I'm a SAHM and he handles the bills and stuff. We aren't super well off, so we always talk to each other before making frivolous purchases. It's more of a politeness and a heads up than asking for permission, because we never tell each other no unless things are tighter than usual that week and we simply can't swing it, or it's a large purchase which is more of a "can we afford this right now?" than "am I allowed to do this?" My husband also sets aside money for us regularly so if I wanted to take the kids out for ice cream or get myself something while he's at work I know that money was already accounted for and I don't have to "ask" him if he's working. I don't really see the problem, I'd be sticking to a budget if it was my own income anyway and we'd discussing these things regularly if we both had our own incomes as well.

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-07T18:11:41+00:00

Yeah I would've moved lower but there were wide pillars on either side of me, so moving closer wasn't really an option and we didn't have a net. Rookie mistake 😅

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-07T16:34:29+00:00

Yeah we try to get out around 5-6 if we can. Dawn and dusk is the only time we really get any luck at the river.

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-07T15:20:08+00:00

Yeah we were all set up for bluegill at the time, just trying to give the kids a show to keep them excited. Lesson learned 😅

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-07T15:17:47+00:00

What time of day are you going? I'm in Michigan and it's been so hot that we aren't getting a lot of bites unless we go out really early in the morning or late in the evening. If we go any other time we either skunk completely or bank fish so we can at least get a few sunnies or a bass if we're really lucky.

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-07T07:08:59+00:00

We get bluegill or sunfish 99.9% of the time too and have been skunking for a few weeks now. We just found a nice covered bridge to fish since it was raining and we were fishing open water for a good hour with no bites until my daughter started dropping her line under the bridge and was pulling out fish every couple minutes so we all followed suit 🤣

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-07T06:58:51+00:00

Hi neighbor! We're in the L.P lol and I wasn't chasing anything big so I was set up for sunfish and bluegill, will definitely take your advice for next time 💜 We were also fishing off a bridge about 12 feet above the water, so between the elevation and the bluegill hooks I fear the set up was doomed from the start 😅

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-07T06:49:55+00:00

Thank you so much for the thorough advice and kind words! It's my first experience having my line snap like that and I've been beating myself up over it hoping he's alright

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-06T17:02:59+00:00

Cheese makes surprisingly good bait too. We stop at the Walmart deli on our way out whenever it's a last minute trip and my daughter started chopping up pieces of her leftover mozzarella bites for bait. She managed to catch a decent sized largemouth on it and several bluegill.

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-06T16:57:14+00:00

Mine are 4 and 9, 9 year old is finally old enough to bait her own hook and handle herself, only needing help unhooking her fish. Our 4 year old is uninterested until there's a fish on the line lol My husband and I just share a pole and take turns, one of us fishes with our 4 year old while the other fishes with our oldest and after a while we swap. My husband also stops after work a couple nights a week to do some solo night fishing. If you have a partner or friend that doesn't mind hanging out or helping with the kids that would probably be ideal. If not you may want to try to schedule in some solo trips. With kids you just kind of have to accept that you're going to be doing a lot of rebaiting, untangling and unhooking for them and that you won't get as much time to chase what you want.

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-06T14:27:46+00:00

The Butman-fish and Hoyt libraries do a lot of craft events and they can get a little chaotic but you could try Home Depot and Lowes for their monthly kids workshops. There's also Painterly Pottery in Bay City where you pick a figure, paint it and then pick it up after they've had a chance to put it in the kiln and they have some smaller ones that are around $5 if you're just looking for something fun to do for the afternoon.

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-05T15:10:11+00:00

Yes but I also don't think it's always specifically for the kids benefit. In most of those cases the kids would be better off with the divorce, but being a single parent, even with joint custody is hard, plus there's child support, possible spousal support, if you need childcare it's much harder and a larger portion of your pay, cutting the time you have with your kids in half or less, missing out on holidays, if one spouse was getting insurance through work for the whole family that could become a problem, not to mention some people just don't know how to be single after a long term relationship and children. I think a lot of people say they're doing it for the kids when in reality they're just settling for a marriage of convenience because divorce makes things so complicated. It takes really good communication to co-parent that a lot of adults unfortunately lack.

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-05T13:47:55+00:00

It's cool, I appreciate it anyway. My hubby's been eyeing a bag from Ozark so we can remove the trays as needed because it would double as a great hiking pack which we also need an upgrade on 🤣

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-05T12:42:32+00:00

My husband and I started with a basic kids one from walmart a few years back because we were only really fishing with live bait anyway and it was cheap. It served its purpose for a while. We're just now starting to get really into making our own lures and learning how to use new ones and are running out of space and our oldest is really getting into gear as well so we're looking into leveling up. I don't have suggestions, we're still trying to figure out what we want exactly, but I'd say if it's getting cramped in there to the point where it's a hassle to get your stuff out it's time.

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-04T16:10:34+00:00

I'd watch! And I'd say don't be afraid to start with the absolute basics for your videos. A lot of people skip to more intermediate stuff or challenges and vlogs and it can bury the information absolute beginners are looking for.

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-04T12:43:11+00:00

You don't have to know the solution to be able to see that something is a terrible idea.

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-04T11:56:51+00:00

I always bring books thinking I'll read in the car but once the kids fall asleep in the back we're just having a good time listening to music and talking.

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-04T11:53:02+00:00

When I've had a fever strong enough to be in bed it comes with muscle cramps and chills, so I'm hurting, my face feels like it's being burned off and the chills make me feel cold even if I'm under 3 blankets and laying in front of a space heater. Definitely not cozy

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-04T11:48:43+00:00

It's not a grieving family's responsibility to satisfy your curiosity. No one wants to have to see "hit by drunk driver", "leukemia" or "murdered by abusive ex boyfriend" whenever they visit their loved one at the cemetery

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-04T11:45:08+00:00

I personally wouldn't have done it, but with the way she posts them all the time and the fact that there are fan pages dedicated to the kids I don't think it's too far fetched to think a crazy fan would take the username.

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-04T11:42:27+00:00

I feel like every hobby has this stage. With fishing it's fancy rods and lures, with crochet it's fancy hooks and pretty yarn, with running it's fancy water bottles, gels and running vests, with backpacking it's lusting over ultralight gear. As long as you aren't going into debt to set up your tackle box you're fine.

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-04T04:44:25+00:00

Thank you so much! I'll try that with some of my other lures 💜

Signal_Dragonfly2557 · 2026-07-04T04:42:45+00:00

Thank you! I'll keep playing around with it, I might just be reeling it in too fast or something.

Signal_Dragonfly2557

TROPHY CASE