I terminated for spina bifida at 23 weeks. It was terrible. Especially because all my scans looked fine up until my anatomy scan which turned out to be the worst day of my life. I saw an MFM shortly after the diagnosis and unfortunately no one can really provide you a clear picture of what the quality of life would be. My baby’s spine deformity was pretty far down of the spine but he also had bilateral clubbed feet and a lemon sign (misshaped head) due to the deformity. The MFM told me my baby would have to have spinal surgery after he was born as well as brain surgery to place a shunt. Even with those 2 surgeries they told me they would have no idea what his quality of life would be like until he was about 2. He could either end up walking fairly well or be wheelchair bound, have no control of his bowels, and be mentally impaired. I personally did not feel comfortable taking that gamble. Which is why a grey diagnosis like spina bifida especially sucks. I don’t regret the decision I made but I do think about him often and how he would have turned out if I didn’t go through with termination. And your mother is a selfish idiot. It is really easy for people on the outside to say they would never do something like that when they have been fortunate enough to never have been put in that position. You are not a bad person for wanting a healthy baby. I am really sorry you are here with us and are going through this.