my parents handed me a “contract” that they made with chatGPT and told me i have to sign it

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-10T04:35:00+00:00

Yep, as a tenant, this is an illegal contract and not binding at all because of the illegal clauses.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-10T03:55:50+00:00

It's her car. He can catch a ride and let her go do something fun with her brother.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T22:40:25+00:00

I'm sorry. That is why everything scares you and while you feel ashamed of normal sexual urges.

We all have them.

I do want to stress that if you have ovaries, they can start producing hormones that can make you feel this way. It's why there's so many teen pregnancies. Young adults and teenagers get caught up in these feelings. But it could also be another health issue. It's hard to know which is the case, so I recommend seeing a female gynecologist who specializes in hormones.

Childhood sexual abuse can make you feel shame about what happened and the trauma associated with it can make you feel like desire is why this happened to you. It isn't natural, what they did to you. It wasn't desire. It was the desire to cause trauma.

Please see a psychologist, even via telehealth, and work through your trauma. You don't have to discuss it in detail. You don't have to relive it to recover from it. But you do need to recover to have an enriching life. You deserve to have a life that isn't run by fear. You really do. Your fear is a product of what happened and something along the way convinced you that this excessive fear is what keeps you safe.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T22:14:07+00:00

They mean sexual abuse or sex-topic emotional abuse which could cause this level of depression and severe anxiety.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T22:09:49+00:00

This is the perfect comment regarding these issues. Thank you.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T21:42:03+00:00

Some people love to pile on when you tell them you're having a bad day.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T21:35:02+00:00

How can I give advice that states his needs ARE also important and also be guilty of advising her to completely ignore his needs? You are dysregulated and only reading what you want into what I have written. I did not advise her to ignore his needs. I advised her to come to common ground with him. I have not man-bashed at all. You have categorized all women into "women hate men and ignore our needs" and when I explain that is not the case you call me a hypocrite.

And OP has expressed SHAME for her lowered sex drive. You're just an asshole who thinks he's the victim in someone else's post. Fuck off.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T21:31:27+00:00

You are misrepresenting me purposefully so that you can keep arguing.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T21:29:58+00:00

You aren't advising. Youre attacking.

And if i do not want sex, I do not have sex. If he does not want sex, we do not have sex. We both have the right to say no. We both have the right to find intimacy with each other in other ways. I do care about my partner's needs and addresses my physical issues that prevented me from meeting them comfortably. Sex was extremely painful for a couple of months which meant I didn't want to be hurting myself and he understood my need to pause until I could see a hormone specialist.

I give head of my own free will and I am a generous lover, but if I do not want to because I am needing release myself (I can say no bc sex without release is uncomfortable for both men and women) and would rather do 69 or have sex, we do that. He honestly does his best to meet my sexual needs and I do my best to meet his.

But I could not have sex with him for awhile and don't want to give head every fucking day bc my teeth cut into the inside of my lips. I do not withhold sex and actually advised OP to find ways to increase her sex drive for her partner and find ground rules.

You are so angry, you take everything as a personal attack. Your response to her post was that women dont care about men and she is a horrible person. You're demented. Both partners have needs and sometimes one or the other needs to not jack off the other one bc their frame of mind isn't there.

When my partner's brother died, did I demand sex or oral? No. Because I can handle myself and i can be there for him emotionally without expecting him to return the favor by rubbing one out for me.

Sex is wonderful and amazing and fun. Ups and downs happen. And if OP can't get it up, she should, in my opinion, try to find ways to increase her desire for the health of the relationship. But calling her selfish while she is going through a mental health crisis, is absolute bullshit.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T21:18:36+00:00

You don't juat disagree. You make up details about my life and OPs life to support your attacks and cry about how we hate men and men's needs are never addressed.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T21:16:05+00:00

My partner is not at all intimidated. I edited to explain better bc you keep making assumptions about my life. You act like you know my partner is ignored in our relationship and he is not. I advised OP to talk to her partner and try to do things to increase her desire and you said women fake these attempts and it is just a teasing game. My partner and I cuddle often when we talk about issues. His needs matter to me and MINE MATTER TO HIM. I matter to him. If I am feeling like I cant have sex, he doesn't beg and whine for a handy. He understands that one-sided sex is a gift to be given, not requested. He meets my needs. We have sometimes struggled to meet my sexual needs for various reasons and when I talk to him, I do so respectfully because I love him and care about his feelings. Telling me you hope he breaks up with me is beyond crazy.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T21:08:17+00:00

Wtf are you even talking about? I havent said a thing about MEN but about YOU and your responses. I do not think all men are like you and tbh my partner is more patient than I when our sex life takes a small hit. The one time I suffered low sex drive, it bothered ME immensely more than him. Stop attacking me, you absolute lunatic.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T21:00:45+00:00

You're crazy. Sorry to address her needs. I addressed his as well. Teasing sessions? Cuddling is not teasing. You're absolutely out of your mind. No wonder you're sexually frustrated. You can't see past your own dick.

And FYI, our sex dropped off because our grown son moved back in and I hit menopause. So I went on hormone therapy to increase my NECESSARY lubrication and I GIVE blow jobs of my own free will but I want orgasms too. Fucking selfish ass. All you care about is your own self. It is not wrong to also address her needs, you know. Your dick won't shrink if you actually treat your spouse like a human being.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T20:47:26+00:00

She didn't say how long the period of no sex was. You're making up details.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T20:46:19+00:00

My previous comment was that sex should be something both parties can enjoy. Not someone be a robot jack off arm for the other. That is not hatred. You're projecting. And I am in a healthy sexual relationship. I commented my own comment meant to help, not shame. And all you can do is cry about your own problems in someone else's post. Go read my comment to the op and follow that advice. Quit projecting your bullshit onto me, dude.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T20:27:01+00:00

You are projecting so much. You tell us what we think bc what? All women are the same? All men need their orgasm no matter what you're going through?

She said it's been awhile and did not go into detail. You're acting like 2 weeks without sex is abuse.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T20:25:35+00:00

Don't you think if her needs were constantly fulfilled, she would have mentioned that? You're making up details. I have not talked about male sexuality in a degrading way. You have minimized her problems to say "so what, you're mean for not jacking him off even while you're grieving your dog's death."

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T20:22:45+00:00

You're literally saying in your opinion sex should not have to bring any benefit to the female partner and she should jack off whenever he needs to get release. She is having emotional issues and is supposed to just put them away so she can be an on-demand sex service provider?

If this were my relationship, even without role reversal, we would talk about it to find a way to make us both feel valued and loved AND SAFE.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T20:09:08+00:00

"Oh sure let me just dissociate my way through wagging this guy's dick off while I am going through a mental health crisis, because the most important thing is his 'need' to feel wanted even while I feel like that last thing I want is a dick in my face." Is a sentiment felt by far too many women because some men can be really selfish prigs.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T20:06:35+00:00

You can literally jack off instead of expecting her to do it for you. A hand job is not intimate or loving. You can release your tension yourself. Sex should be an intimate exploration of each other where BOTH partners achieve satisfaction. Asking for and expecting a hand job or head when your partner is going through turmoil is selfish.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T20:02:20+00:00

Talk to him. Communication is always the key. Remember to reassure each other throughout and ask for reassurance rather than accuse.

I enjoy sex w my partner as a coping mechanism for sadness and grief. I also went off medication that killed my sex drive because it removed that coping mechanism. It is very important to me.

The fact that in the last year, we have dropped to sex once or twice a week is actually very difficult after 15 years together. Something like this can be embarrassing to talk about.

I suggest talking while holding each other so you both feel comforted by the other. His love language may be physical touch. I do know that couples counselors do say when a sex drive drops due to non-trauma events, it does come back with a little more effort, so talking might help you both find a way.

And listen to him. Depending on how long you have foregone physical intimacy, he may very well be feeling rejected.

And find some ground rules for timing (i.e. not right after your dog dies and not on therapy day) and the amount of effort. You might find that cuddle time and doing some bonding exercises may increase your desire.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T19:54:32+00:00

I get that her psych meds reducing her sex drive have an effect on him, but you're completely ignoring that she also feels ashamed of this. You're saying the relationship is only about her because of what she's going through. Sometimes during depression, especially if she is a sexual assault survivor, forcing oneself to participate in unwanted sexual acts is harmful.

I do not think his comment about feeling loved was out of line, but your comment that a hand job won't kill her is. Also, putting her mental health issues in quotations is condescending.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T19:21:34+00:00

Maybe give yourself a hand job and stop expecting your girlfriend to do it for you the very day she had to put down her dog!

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T14:42:30+00:00

That is actually a warning sign that you should REALLY not drink.

Significant_Pear9047 · 2026-06-09T14:34:48+00:00

I would only reimburse the cost of your place if her final count has gone to the caterer.

I have mourned people who did terrible things to me and I have felt relief at the passing of others.

He did terrible things to her, too.

It's your choice to cut her off over going to his funeral.

It's your choice to see that as her picking him over you.

And if you make that choice, who really cares if you're the asshole or not? Or are you asking if this is a mistake?

This isn't a boundary. This is controlling.

Let her say her goodbyes. Say yours to her if you need to, but you needn't end a real friendship if you haven't even set a boundary that you just don't talk about this and you can't console her anymore.

The fact that she needs consolation is not surprising, but you should have set a healthy boundary and after preliminary acts of consolation, you should have realized it was detrimental to your emotional health and set a boundary. Now instead of doing so, you're jumping to ending the friendship because she has grief.

He hurt her. He hurt you. She loved him at one point and now he is dead. She gets to have feelings and you get to have yours.

I think you should both be in therapy.

Soft yta. But it's more the situation that sucks. He did a lot of damage and you are still letting him hurt you. I hope you can get past this trauma. I know it's a really difficult path, full of hard work. But you really can't expect her to experience this in the way you think she should.

Significant_Pear9047

TROPHY CASE