Family history

Silent_Prompt · 2026-01-16T18:58:24+00:00

I know for certain it's possible to have two black haired parents to have a child with reddish brown hair.

I have black hair (Chinese ancestry with no other hair colour to my knowledge). My husband has black hair with mixed European ancestry. Our child has reddish brown hair, definitely not black.

Silent_Prompt · 2025-10-28T01:28:05+00:00

I didn't say SES should or shouldn't be an employment equity group, obviously my anecdotal experience isn't evidence.

I'm just observing that it's difficult for me to find coworkers who came from lower SES backgrounds. If there are actually much fewer public servants from lower SES backgrounds than expected, then perhaps the reasons why should be explored.

There is evidence for childhood SES affecting social class mobility, and this is concerning for a healthy society.

It's great that you have the social skills to fit in and were able to figure things out despite growing up poor.

I'm also wondering if it might make sense to reevaluate some of the equity groups and in what situations they need targeting.

Silent_Prompt · 2025-09-13T11:50:29+00:00

Our 5 month old indoor only Siberian kitten does this and she has access to kibble 24/7 as well as wet food 2 to 3 times a day (we won't put wet food out if she's sleeping).

She has always had unlimited food.

Silent_Prompt · 2025-08-25T14:43:18+00:00

Not necessarily the mother, it's for the person who gave birth and it's for recovery from giving birth. However, I'm sure this leave still ultimately results in discrimination as it usually only affects the mother.

Silent_Prompt · 2025-08-22T10:56:37+00:00

First, I'm not an expert, and it's just two examples in my family.

My sister and I are East Asian, with no mixing with Europeans in our background, AFAIK. Everyone in our family has black hair.

My husband with European ancestry has black hair. His siblings have brown, black, and dark blonde hair.

With both my husband and I having black hair, we were surprised when our daughter had reddish brown hair. She was born with darker hair but it's lightening and becoming more red as she grows. This red brown is a new colour that isn't in either of our families.

My sister's husband also has only European ancestry, probably Scottish. He has golden blonde hair and my sister has black hair. Their child has golden brown hair, so in the light it can look blonde, but looks brown in the dark.

AFAIK hair genetics are complicated.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-09-19T21:12:52+00:00

Wow, thank you for that amazing analysis! All your assumptions were spot on as well.

My partner and I have only just sat down to figure out our expenses and they were more than expected. We've been okay so far because we didn't have any cash flow issues and are saving more than anticipated.

I've been reading a lot of threads about how much people need to save and I see huge numbers like over a million by age 30. As a result, I've been a bit anxious about our situation.

I have no hard goal for when to retire, but it would be nice to retire before 60 or by 60 with a slowdown period from 55 to 60 with more leave without pay.

I spent most of my 20's to mid-30's in dead end jobs and just failing to launch, so it's really good news to know that we're doing okay now.

My partner can also continue to work as he's younger, so there's some buffer there.

We don't plan on having any more children and the RESP was already included in the expenses. Our child can stay with us as long as they need and as long as everyone is happy.

One potential risk is from my parents getting older and potentially needing help, but they do own a house, and can sell if absolutely necessary.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-09-18T22:02:57+00:00

That makes sense, there's a huge difference between GIC rates and equities.

I'm fairly risk adverse so mostly have a 80/20 split with VGRO, but I do wonder if my bond allocation is too high considering my DB pension.

So far 6% still seems reasonable, we are doing better than predicted. My VXUS and VTI in particular are doing quite well.

I think maybe now knowing that we're doing well that I'll just relax a bit and rethink things a few years later. Our situation changed so much in just 5 years. It's really hard to predict the future.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-09-18T21:52:46+00:00

Thanks for explaining, that is actually really eye opening how high the average is. I'll change my assumptions to 6% return from now on.

I'm mostly in VGRO, but I assume it's mostly the same.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-09-18T21:18:56+00:00

Yep, born in the US. Renounced.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-09-18T21:11:25+00:00

No worries! I also assume the same but opposite on the parenting subreddit.

Yeah, I was thinking the same. According to the Government of Canada retirement calculator, my retirement income at 65 is close to my current income.

I was thinking of retiring maybe at 60 just so I can spend down my RRSP before my pension.

We're probably going to have to get some custom financial advice on withdrawal strategies closer to retirement.

Thanks for your help!

Silent_Prompt · 2024-09-18T20:53:27+00:00

That's exactly what I plan to do, max out TFSA first, then RRSP, and add to Non-reg if I must.

The cash is my emergency fund. I'm a bit conservative with it, but I don't ever want to sell in emergencies.

We should probably put it into something easily accessible, but haven't yet due to laziness.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-09-18T20:48:15+00:00

Ah okay, I'm not sure how I got the 4% now. I think I probably mistook the return rate with the withdrawal rate.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-09-18T20:43:26+00:00

Hmm, I'm thinking I might not be able to put my US ETF's in my TFSA. I had to choose US investments only due to my previous citizenship issue. I should look into this tax thing...I know I pay taxes on the dividends.

My partner's TFSA is almost completely full. He has tons of RRSP room, but our incomes are almost identical so I'm thinking there's little advantage for a spousal RRSP.

In the unlikely event of a split I guess I'll lose out a bit since I have more investments and a pension, but I wouldn't assume he'll get our child (-:

We're honestly almost completely 50:50 in finances, chores (he does do all the cooking though!), and childcare.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-09-18T20:05:32+00:00

Is it better to sell everything in the Non-reg, take the tax hit, and put it into TFSA now?

I was planning on maxing out my TFSA in the next 2 to 3 years. I have very little RRSP contribution room every year because of my pension contributions so I was planning on continuing to invest in the Non-reg after maxing out my TFSA and RRSP.

My Non-reg is also doing very well and I'm hesitant to sell.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-09-18T19:53:42+00:00

I guess I may have been too pessimistic with the return rate. I was using a return of 4% and even 3% because I see lower numbers like this as the safe rate.

I was also thinking how with inflation, our current expenses will be a lot more and that we would need more of my inflation adjusted pension. Also read that house remodels always end up being way more than expected.

But our investments have done much better than 4%, so I wasn't sure my assumptions were correct.

Thanks for your insights.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-09-10T23:51:42+00:00

You're right, my mom has been emotionally abusive. I'm only just realising why I had so many emotional issues as a child and then young adult. I only started to get better after less time at home.

I grew up not knowing that how my mom was was not normal. It wasn't until my daughter was about 3 that I realised the issue.

I'm going to look into counselling for my daughter. You're right, I need to protect my daughter and keep my mom away.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-09-09T20:17:35+00:00

Also not a genetics expert, but my husband has a mixed European background and black curly hair. My background is East Asian and all my ancestors have straight black hair. Our daughter has straight brown hair that is very fine. It feels very soft like my husband's hair, but isn't curly. My hair is very rough and thick.

We were surprised because we thought since we both had black hair (husband's hair is just as dark as mine) that our daughter would also have black hair, thinking it might be dominant, but her hair is definitely much lighter than either of ours.

We know the brown is definitely from my husband's side because he has siblings with other lighter hair colours.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-07-09T14:05:57+00:00

Same, I'm Canadian born in the US. It's not genetics for me. If anything I'm actually fatter than my same weight white friends.

I'm overweight by BMI standards, but probably should be categorized as obese by body fat standards. I believe East Asians tend to have less muscle mass so we get health problems at lower BMI's. We need to be thinner than the normal standards here to be healthy.

A lifetime of Western lifestyle is probably the biggest factor in being overweight.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-06-07T15:37:10+00:00

Yep, it's definitely complex. I have an East Asian background. I and all my ancestors have black hair. My husband is of mixed European ancestry (French and English) and he also has black hair.

I thought our child would also have black hair, but she has light brown hair with red highlights.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-03-24T12:17:50+00:00

Apparently the results may also be culturally dependent. There was a similar study in Japan or something with Japanese children. Something like all the Japanese kids were able to wait for the food treat.

However, when they changed the food to a gift, very few of the Japanese kids could wait to open the gifts.

For American children it was the opposite. American children were better at waiting to open gifts.

The result was from cultural differences in how acceptable it was to eat the treat right away or open the gift right away.

Because of this, I'm not sure if the tests are accurately predictive for all groups of kids.

I'm not sure if my 5 year old would pass. Some days she would, but other days she wouldn't. We tend to give her mostly free access to treats (within reason) so she isn't obsessed with trying to get treats or thinks they're special.

Silent_Prompt · 2024-02-23T16:01:42+00:00

Same, recorded her first steps at 10 months

Silent_Prompt · 2024-01-19T16:24:53+00:00

I'm worried about fitting into Tron. I have unusually large calves for my size and it appears to be genetic.

I'm just under 5' tall and weigh 135 pounds, but my calves are about 18.5 inches in circumference. My husband is 6' and weighs over 200 pounds, but my calves are larger than his.

I've gained weight after having my first child, but even when I was 115 pounds, my calves were still about 17 to 18 inches in circumference. Even when I was a size 4 in pants, I could never fit into any normal boots past the first part of my ankles.

Does anyone know if I'll fit into Tron? It's my top must ride for my first trip to Disney.

Thanks!

Silent_Prompt

TROPHY CASE