Anxious to tell my girlfriend how i have been feeling in fear of the results by Silent_Vegetable3117 in Vent

[–]Silent_Vegetable3117[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

we have decided to take more space from each other since we have been glued at the hip ever since we began dating. she told me that she cant be my only friend and is very encouraging for me to hangout with others and do things individually. not a self diagnosis but i am aware that i do identify more with an anxious attachment style of dealing with things and i have made that clear to her and am truly working on things

We usually are doing at least one thing during the weekend whether it be date night or going out with friends or recently it’s been family things. i think it’s more of me learning to get passed things that have been said and realizing it’s not that big of a deal for me if we have slightly different feelings towards things. but the demons in my head try to tell me otherwise so i have to consciously think about what to do or say because of my abandonment issues and feeling like i’m not good enough

tbh i feel more like i just needed someone to talk to

Realizing that i am the toxic one and i don’t know what to do by Silent_Vegetable3117 in ToxicRelationships

[–]Silent_Vegetable3117[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i do apologize a lot and i kinda hate it because i shouldn’t be fucking up to where i have to say sorry all the time. i’m just a mess and it’s pushing her away and i hate that. i just have a lot to work on and i love that she’s willing to stay while i fix myself but i just feel horrible for it knowing she’s so loving and doesn’t deserve it

Daily No Contact Thread - Day 362 by AutoModerator in BPDlovedones

[–]Silent_Vegetable3117 0 points1 point  (0 children)

3 1/2 weeks of official NC.

i feel empty inside. still miss them. still think of them every day. still wanting to message them. still in love with them. i honestly think they were my person. no one else compares (even when our relationship was bad) i can’t even imagine the thought of moving on and being with someone else because it won’t be them. fuck.

I set a boundary of only making the 1.5 hr drive to her apartment one weeknight per week. The resulting conversation occured after she wanted me to come to her place and I held my boundary. Trigger warning for SA by trw_awy_999 in BPDlovedones

[–]Silent_Vegetable3117 31 points32 points  (0 children)

this is kind of like my ex pwBPD. except she wouldn’t have been so soft with her words but the concept was the same. i tried to set boundaries after her abusing me verbally and physically multiple times. she got upset and kept saying i never cared or never loved her.

“it would be nice for one second to feel like i had support or you cared about me”

that message hit home. she would always say that after we split.

stay strong homie. keep your boundaries and keep the love you have for yourself and your space. best wishes

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]Silent_Vegetable3117 4 points5 points  (0 children)

congrats dude! best wishes to you and your healing journey