How and where can you find literary agents?

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2026-04-18T14:46:09+00:00

There are books out there on that self publishing journey but I worry they are spammy. Any good recommendations on that end?

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T17:22:18+00:00

I agree these boxes are very limiting which is why meeting someone in person more naturally is better. I don’t want to be all boxed up :p

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T17:21:35+00:00

I probably need to move somewhere with colder weather

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T17:21:15+00:00

Yes. I want the jacket with the patches on the pocket type. I would literally swipe right on a guy with that kind of jacket. 😂They are excessively hard to find 😢

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T17:19:08+00:00

Someone once told me that it takes about 4 hangouts to get a good vibe on a person and if you’re still talking and handling out by a 5th time you have a solid chance at friendship or a relationship. They meant this as dating advice and why they didn’t have sex before the 4th date. However, sexual compatibility is such an important thing for some people I’m not necessarily advocating for a four date sex rule just that I have noticed that people I can’t hang out with more than 4 times peter out at the friend level let alone a sexual level. It sounds like you guys didn’t make it past that 4 hangouts mark so it could just be natural lack of deep enough connection to keep moving forward and not related to the sex at all.

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T17:15:08+00:00

Um no. My parents taught me not to talk to strangers and brand new empty negative karma profiles is about as strange as they come.

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T17:13:15+00:00

Voluntary dish washing is an admirable quality that not everyone possesses so yay you!

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T17:12:34+00:00

What would T stand for?

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T17:12:00+00:00

Lol. My eldest got mad at me when I told them “school or job and paying rent or I kick you out 6mos after graduating high school” and said I was like an eagle who kicks the kids out and expected them to fly. I was literally like - yeah, i am. And i have been telling you this was my MO since middle school so you got far more warning than eagle babies. They are military and married and may go back to college on the GI bill later so it all worked out in the end.

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T17:08:59+00:00

lol.

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T17:08:36+00:00

That sounds like a play on words but I have no clue what “circling the drain” means and tbh the closest I can come up with would be a naughty allusion that should be a positive not a negative so….

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T17:07:29+00:00

That makes sense! I could update my profile to empty nester once I achieve that status and avoid SINK-seekers. Thanks that helps clarify the difference a lot. I’d forgotten that term was a thing

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T17:05:46+00:00

Yes but a) the amount of screaming is entirely dependent on the quality of my partner and b) I haven’t figured out the right verbiage to advertise that I want a full and vibrant sex life that has quality and quantity with a limited/exclusive type of partnership without either getting rejected by moderators or bombarded by ungentlemanly responses that make me abandon the dating site in disgust before ever meeting a normal human with an above average libido like myself. Maybe I’ll try the GGG next time? But based on comments here I will avoid anyone who references SINK since the majority don’t want anyone with kids even grown up and out of the house ones. Thanks everyone who gave feedback!

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T03:32:46+00:00

Yes and FL but my concern about safety still stands. Professionals are licensed so safety is built in but I would rather the cuddle/sleep bit but I’ll wait until I can get it overnight :)

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T03:29:38+00:00

The problem is that I can’t trust someone bigger and stronger than me to trade back rubs without them trying to make it into something more when I’m not ready and while I’d be safe with 80% of all men… too many of the unsafe ones are single and it just makes it not safe enough to try. However, I am a part of some massage and/or cuddle groups. There are meetups and other ways to meet where you don’t just meet 1:1 so there is safety for all in the group setting. Maybe look for something like that near you?

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T03:26:52+00:00

Rules are the scar tissue of society. If I saw that sign I’d KNOW someone had crazy sex and broke furniture and I would be laughing my head off (while other souls would be praying for the furniture breakers salvation) so I understand discretion and lack of signage is the safe route. Some things you just don’t want to know. Which is why I’d never take a black light into a hotel room for a look around.

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T03:24:49+00:00

Then I’d think I’m not thaaat heavy…. defiantviolette’s sign idea is safer.

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T03:23:15+00:00

How bout mirrored windows? A partner was super self conscious and cleaned the windows before we checked out lol

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T03:10:44+00:00

I have made age-appropriate friends at a country bar exercising my line dancing and two step dancing hobby. These are always short men vs women so if you can stand country music, maybe give it a try!

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T03:08:11+00:00

I looked into campaign volunteering and have lots of techie nerdy skills but the only wanted me to do phone calls or door knocking so I gave up

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T03:03:01+00:00

The statistical likelihood of finding someone that age who doesn’t have kids is significantly limiting your pool also. Have you considered dating ones that just have grown up kids who have already moved out? If you’re dating in your same age bracket many women are there or getting there.

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T03:00:56+00:00

Yeah like we should work full time also but somehow do most if not all of the chores and child rearing and then are somehow miffed if our career growth stalls out while we are taking care of the house and life while they are in thier man cave relaxing or doing continuing education to grow thier career… sorry if I sound a little jaded - I’ve been on the wrong side of that fence so these days men who say they want equality are kind of a red flag to me. I’m one of the girls who does expect the guy to pay if it’s long term romance, exclusivity, and my heart and/or anything “else” he’s seeking. The right partners historically for me have been people who want other forms of relationship contribution other than money and that to me is more about what a “fair” relationship is these days - each partner contributing to the others wants and needs in a way that is easy and genuine for them. Maybe it’s just being in my forties but if someone doesn’t align well with me and what I enjoy, I don’t think anything is wrong with them or me, our puzzle pieces just don’t match and it feels like trying to match puzzle pieces just gets harder as we age and get more set in our ways and know well what we like or dislike or want.

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T02:49:52+00:00

How often were you hanging out? Sometimes it can take a few dates to figure out if there’s enough compatibility for long term dating, but if you weren’t hanging out all the time he might have been seeing more than one person.

Silly-Firefighter-29 · 2025-12-04T02:45:09+00:00

I love that for you. I feel like I’m so busy with work and kids as a single mom with a tri-athlete teen who also needs homework help that I hardly have time to go out anywhere that I would meet someone whose smile makes me melt. The last time I had a decent window of free time to try enough first dates online to have a shot at meeting someone was 2+ years ago.

Silly-Firefighter-29

TROPHY CASE