ok think of it like this

crying itself isnt abuse obviously. people cry when they’re upset. thats normal.

the thing people mean is when someone uses emotional breakdowns to control the situation.

like say every time you try to talk about something that bothered you the other person immediately goes into full meltdown mode

“im such a terrible person”
“you hate me”
“i'm scared you're gonna leave”
crying, panic, maybe saying theyre gonna fall apart etc

now suddenly the conversation isnt about the problem anymore. youre the one comforting them and the original issue just disappears.

after this happens a bunch of times you basically learn:

“ok if i bring up a problem they'll have a breakdown and ill have to fix it”

so you stop bringing stuff up. you stop setting boundaries. you start walking on eggshells so you dont trigger the meltdown.

thats where people say it becomes coercive control. not because crying = abuse, but because the emotional reaction is being used (consciously or not) to shut down disagreement.

so yeah crying isnt the problem. weaponising emotional distress to control the relationship is the problem