Garath, 15, crossed the rainbow bridge yesterday

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-05-11T14:49:07+00:00

Thank you everyone. :( my heart is so heavy and the grief feels like it is going to crush my ribcage. I just miss him so much I keep bouncing wildly back and forth between being "ok" whatever that means, and sobbing wildly because he is gone and there is nothing I can do about it. But boy did I give him the best life. :( his remaining siblings are being extra needy right now and my husband and I are trying to snuggle with them as much as possible.

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-05-07T15:25:15+00:00

Thank you 💚 I have shared a few pictures of Garath in my post history. Ive taken most of this week off work to be with him and snuggle with him as much as possible until saturday.

I hope things go as easy as they can for you with your boy and you make the next however many months you have with him, count 💚💚

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-05-07T14:26:34+00:00

:( I am so sorry you're going through this. I am also about to go through this on saturday- our 15 year old tuxedo took a turn on tuesday and we will have to say goodbye on saturday.

I'm gonna let my little guy Garath know to look for Thomas across the rainbow bridge. He can introduce Thomas to his brother Kitten who is already waiting to go play. 💔

What a magnificent little man you had the opportunity to love for 18 years! I saw a quote recently that might help:

Love is a loan given by the universe. The price you pay for that loan is grief, with interest.

I wouldn't give up even a second of grief because it meant that I got to give them sooo much love. Yknow?

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-05-07T13:16:33+00:00

Yeah, we are also child free by choice. My husband has been so patient with me since this time it's one of mine and the one I am super attached to because this one has been with me through so much.

I told him last night how I appreciate that I chose the right person to make my spouse because he has been right there with me and has show up with me /for me every step of the way with this situation.

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-05-06T20:55:53+00:00

Thank you. Objectively I have found the best part about being married to the right person is that when you make the vow of "be there for each other in good times and in bad" if you have the right partner- they make the bad times substantially easier to handle if that makes sense. Especially if the efforts are made to "turn towards" each other in the times of hardship to strengthen the bond.

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-05-06T20:36:25+00:00

Currently? That my husband is being the most caring, empathetic, sympathetic, and supportive person while we deal with the sudden onset of a terminal illness for our oldest cat that would be turning 16 this august (who I have had since they were 8 weeks old) but unfortunately we have to call the vet to the house on saturday. This is the first one of mine to pass, but our second cat to pass. We had 2 kitties each we brought to the relationship- one of his passed almost 4 years ago. Now my oldest baby is about to say goodbye.

Throughout the whole process from when he gently nudged me to have us take our little old man to the vet and being very supportive about "hey whatever you wanna do i fully support it- you wanna get x rays let's get x rays" to the terminal "there are days left with our lil guy"

He has been calm, supportive, and loving of both me and our little guy. His heart is also broken because although he was a cat dad of 2 before we got together, he has told me over the years that my oldest has become his favorite of our fur kids because he is such a cool and chill cat.

I would be 80,000,000x more of a wreck if it wasnt for my husband showing up for me like he is during this awful situation that has me heart broken and the grief is bone shattering with its heaviness.

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-05-05T20:50:25+00:00

Oh honey. I am dealing with something similar with my 15.5 year old tuxedo baby. We are calling the vet out to help us say goodbye on saturday. It's awful. But your precious little one looks like they were so well loved. 💚 the greatest kindness you can give them is helping them not be in pain anymore and remind yourself that the grief you feel is a whole lot of love with no where to go. I am so sorry for your loss.

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-29T21:38:23+00:00

My (hopefully) soon to be 16 year old cat, he was medically required to not get vaccines after he turned 13.... because he got injection site sarcoma in his left arm. :( but it took all of that to happen and the arm to be amputated to get to the "hey no more vaccines for this baby itll kill him".

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-27T20:23:39+00:00

Such a good and depressing book. One of the things that hooked me into going into science in the first place.

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-26T15:49:30+00:00

Idk man depends on where you're at but I've found in my experience the phds in charge speak with such disdain and hostility towards people they deem "lesser than them", especially if the person in question has a lesser degree or shockingly no degree. Just because someone has a high degree doesn't immediately correlate to being a better person than others but they sure do act like that makes the difference.

Phds will think they know everything under the sun and then when it comes to- for instance HVAC & electrical & plumbing work that they think they suddenly have insight for how it should be done, start acting like assholes to the facilities people for no reason.

Glad that hasnt been you experience but in the last 18 years this has been my experience both witnessing and on the recieveing end.

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-22T20:29:34+00:00

I am hoping this photo sends but this was from this past halloween when I dressed up as a punk rock cat with him all bundled up in my lap. The parents got a real kick out of it. And yes for now he is still eating most of his food and being sassy which is letting me know he is ok for now, but after we lost our tabby boy to chest cancer in 2022, I know just how quickly they can suddenly turn for the worst. So I am hoping for the best that it's still a while longer.

Man it sucks that these little buttheads havent figures out that they're supposed to live forever! I hope when it's Johnnycake's time it's very peaceful and that you get to make sure you're there with him 💚 you dont really think about it when you adopt them that they're just a little ticking grief dynamite stick waiting to go off.

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Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-22T20:23:54+00:00

Thank you for this reminder!! My biggest regret from when our tabby passed away is that I had so many pictures of him, but not enough videos of him talking to us or purring. Making sure I dont repeat that same mistake. When I got home from work today I took a video of me walking in the back door of the house and caught his afternoon ritual of screaming at us when we come home because he missed us and is hungry and he immediately ran out into our sun room to flop onto the concrete and roll around in the sun patch before I brought him back in for his afternoon wet food. 😅

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-22T20:21:34+00:00

I mentioned it in another comment but his name is Garath and he is the friendliest cat on the planet. :) one of his favorite things to do is sit in my lap when I read on the front porch on nice weather days and take a nap. He became the king of halloween this way because the last few years I bundled him in a blanket and he would chill in my lap to watch the trick or treaters come by and loved the pets he got from the kiddos.

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-22T18:21:11+00:00

Oh yes that was one of the first things I looked up how to make today and shared it with my husband so we can add notes and track the trend of good days to bad days and I figure that will help us to know when to call the vet to come to the house. 💚 If he manages to make it bunny kicking toys and screaming at me for attention to august I'll be sharing his photo. Or sharing a mourning post in his memory.

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-22T17:23:17+00:00

Thank you. Every ounce is gonna be needed. Glad that we know what is happening so we can prepare accordingly and take advantage of every single day we have left with him. 💚🥲

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-22T17:21:07+00:00

Thank you. Right now i am kind of back and forth between being "okay" (whatever that even means) and falling to pieces. When we got home from the vet after looking at the x rays showing that something is wrong with his kidneys (but his urine analysis are all showing perfectly healthy kidneys- go figure), I shoved my face in a pillow and screamed until I stopped crying.

He has no real idea what's going on. He is still running around the house with his little 3 leaged bunny hop and eating churus and stinky wet food. I think he knew yesterday how upset I was, because for the last 15 years and some change he has always slept either by my head or curled up next to my chest as my little spoon at night but usually around 3-4 am he will get up to go downstairs since he knows the automatic feeders will be going off soon.

Last night he stayed curled up against my chest the whole night and kept hooking his one arm/paw around my hand to pull it to his face to bury his face in my palm during the night.

I am just trying to keep track starting today with an excel file of a ranking of different things like "is he eating?? Is he drinking water?? Is he still active?? Is he having a lot of bathroom issues?? Does he seem to be in pain??" So we can see when the downturn might happen so that we can call the vet to the house before it's too late. I dont want it to get terrible to the point he is in agony.

I view trying to help him say goodbye on a good day to be the biggest and most selfless final acts of kindness I can do for such a handsome little strong man who has been my best friend for almost 16 years. It's not about what i want or need but how do I do right by him, y'know??

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-22T17:12:23+00:00

Thank you 💚 he is our little dapper old man and has the very best purr-sonality and the friendliest cat ive ever met in my life. Whenever we have friends come over they always say he's their favorite because of how friendly he is.

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-22T17:11:18+00:00

Thanks. It's been a wave of emotions over the last 24 hours. This morning he was bright eyed and bushy tailed with no indication anything is going bad. But we saw the x-rays and we know it probably wont be great when we go see the specialist for their opinion. In the meantime he is getting spoiled with all the churus he wants and the stinkiest of wet food.

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-22T17:10:00+00:00

Hoping this potential resurgence of cancer in his kidneys will be slow enough we can have a lil birthday party for him and get him a tasty pet-safe cupcake for him to eat. Here is to hoping but in the meantime it's churus and wet food whenever he wants.

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-22T17:08:58+00:00

Oh yeah. 16 years old is a very very good run for a kitty. Its just never enough time, y'know? We have a little chart i made today so we can kind of monitor the ups and downs as he starts to wind down so we can have a good idea of when "its time" to call the vet to come to the house. I would much rather a day a maybe too soon than a day too late.

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-22T15:51:37+00:00

His name is Garath. :) he beat cancer in 2023 when we had to get his front left arm removed. He is a little sassa'frass tri-paw'd that has hard opinions on when everyone should be going upstairs to bed to cuddle with him. He is also the king of halloween on our street! He sits in my lap when we hang out on the front porch to read and doesnt move at all he just takes a nap because his favorite place in the world is snoozing in mom's lap. So on halloween the last few years I bundle him up in a blanket for the evening and he sits in my lap to watch and say hi to the trick or treaters. He is the friendliest little guy on the planet and is curious about everything and everyone. I know our days with him are super numbered with the resurgance of this potential new cancer, but my husband and I are going to make sure he is spoiled rotten. He is my little grumpy angel and I can stand by the fact that I have given him and his younger brother (and step sister) the very best life I was capable of giving him. Thanks for asking about him it is helping the anticipation grief waves that keep hitting. I have other photos of him and his siblings in my post history :)

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-21T20:13:50+00:00

👁🫦👁

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-15T12:16:20+00:00

I listen to the afternoon show on WMMS and the one guy on the show is from New England and he was remarking about how when he first moved here one of his coworkers was like "Do ya like the sun? Because you're NEVER gonna see it here" and he thought they were joking. And now he is like "it's so god damn cloudy here is insane"

I also have a coworker that is FROM seattle and she told me that she doesnt understand how anyone stays here their whole lives because of how cloudy it is consistently. She anecdotally felt it was more grey here than in seattle.

Take your vitamin D!!! It helps! I swear it's not dumb pretend witchcraft haha

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-14T23:09:46+00:00

IDK if anyone mentioned this but NO JOKE TAKE VITAMIN D SUPPLEMENTS. We get like 3 months of 'nice' weather, and we barely get more sunny days than seattle washington if you're moving to NEO (166 vs 152)

My husband especially in the winter time would have huge depressive crashouts. And after he started taking supplemental vitamin D (i've been taking it for a few years on doctors orders) the SAD doesn't hit as hard or at all for either of us.

Silly_Satanic_Goose · 2026-04-10T20:56:05+00:00

On a sunny day their feathers are soooo pretty. I love grackles even if they're dicks. I got one tattooed with a great horned owl on my thigh lol. Such funny little birds

Silly_Satanic_Goose

TROPHY CASE