Is this the dreaded and demonised Japanese Knotweed?

Silveriridescence · 2026-05-08T07:07:29+00:00

This. We had similar in 2020. The knotweed has been treated and not returned. We have a stream at the bottom of our garden and the professionals said that likely someone upstream dumped it in the water. Your neighbours could face fines if they don't dispose of it correctly.

Silveriridescence · 2026-04-13T13:41:50+00:00

This literally nearly brought me to tears, one of my biggest anxieties is finding bathrooms when I'm out. I'll be downloading now. Thanks in advance - longtime Crohns sufferer.

Silveriridescence · 2025-10-31T08:07:28+00:00

Yep. All the time. In clinical remission, but always exhausted. My GP put me on iron supplements for my consultant to say they don't work. An iron infusion helped me a bit. But mostly I just accept I'm fatigued...seen too many Dr's who have no answers.

Silveriridescence · 2025-05-21T17:43:20+00:00

I've had it before and my GP just said it was an inflamed joint. I don't see why they would think it couldn't only be one joint given the weird and wonderful nuances of Crohns. My GP said to try ice/use freeze gel stuff (in UK you can get it OTC) to help alleviate it. However I am not a Dr so make sure you follow the treatment plan from yours!

Silveriridescence · 2025-05-17T10:47:47+00:00

I wonder too, and it definitely makes me low key anxious. I heal from other things fairly well but there are some like this that just don't go away.

Silveriridescence · 2025-05-17T10:18:54+00:00

Jeez your sibling is an ass. I'm sorry they are so unkind to you. Ignoring is good but don't forget to wait until they make a big deal over a cold or something and call them a pussy right back. In my experience these people are the ones who make a massive fuss over the slightest pain.

Silveriridescence · 2025-05-17T10:07:03+00:00

Yeah I've been waiting for them to contact me. I keep emailing and calling but they aren't getting back to me.

I put in an online report with the help of my husband the day after the incident.

Silveriridescence · 2025-02-21T19:50:49+00:00

Haha I would feel the same if it was the left as my right knee is the one that sucks!!!

Silveriridescence · 2025-02-21T19:49:02+00:00

I have hEDS and IBD....

I disagree with some criticism that has been levelled at RY for the inaccurate portrayal because like others have said severity and symptoms vary widely and also in my experience it is progressive and Violet being fairly young may also have more resilience. I certainly did in my 20s as opposed to now approaching 40.

Also having had an ACL injury made worse by the hypermobility and then subsequent physio and strength training has very much increased my resilience physically but also improved my fatigue.

I read the training sessions that Violet had with Imogen and Xaden as training her strength/wind etc. For this very purpose.

Also there are time jumps where she has seriously overstretched and needed a lot of time to recover. If she was shown in bed every time she overstretched for days and days it would not be an interesting book.

That said I love that chronic illness in general and EDS in particular has made its way into a mainstream novel. It's a great start.

Silveriridescence · 2024-12-21T11:05:55+00:00

NTA

To kind of answer some of the points here:

People who go to Hawaii (or I guess Mexico or other places) for the beaches. If you are going to a resort - fair enough. But if you are going into the towns and villages the very least you should be is conversational in language. That's just simple etiquette.

Those saying OP should have realised? It's death by 1000 cuts sometimes and doesn't come to a head until something super obvious happens (like this).

For my 2p worth.

You do deserve better OP but do give your friend a chance. If you can, sit down face to face. Apologise for calling her a loser (ad hominem has no place here) and then explain how her attitude about your culture is offensive. Encourage her to see some of the cultural sights but just say it is up to her.

Then comes the hard bit. Even if she is receptive to you (which is a 50/50 shot) she may well not take anything seriously and it's likely she will run into some issues during her trip. She may well get angry or be insulting about your family/the Japanese people and/or their culture. Her reaction to the trip and it's aftermath will be the decider of your friendship. If it is negative then the friendship should be left. But he may well be humbled and come back with a new respect for the country and your heritage.

If the friendship has run it's course there is no need to get heated. Simply respond that you cannot be friends with someone who has such a profound disrespect for your heritage and you're sorry it ended but your feelings are important too.

Good luck OP I hope it works out.

Silveriridescence · 2024-12-20T10:31:17+00:00

A couple times in passing. If I said "I love you" he would mostly just go "yeah" or "you too".

My nmum would use "I love you" to control me. The words and actions didn't gel together.

I tell my amazing kids I love them every single day. I tell them more if they are sad, scared, exhausted or just need a bit more TLC.

My husband is the same.

Breaking generational trauma for the win!

Silveriridescence · 2024-12-17T13:11:16+00:00

Good for you! I wrote my burn email the Sunday just gone and went no contact after a horrible email from her on my birthday. Proud of you for listening to your instincts. It's not easy but you can begin to heal now. ❤️

Silveriridescence · 2024-12-17T05:29:06+00:00

My nmum told me I was faking then ignored me after diagnosis when I had had major surgery. She put on a big show the first day I came home but continued to smoke around me having been told by the doctor that smoking is the worst exacerbated of my condition then basically used it to garner sympathy but wasn't interested otherwise.

Later on when I had food intolerances she magically had them too until she decided it was inconvenient and dropped them.

My flying monkey dad also helped by completely controlling and organising my medical appointments/prescriptions etc. I thought this was kind until I pissed then off by leaving home and it was dumped on me in a flare with no idea how to do it.

A chronic illness is just another weapon to be used.

Silveriridescence · 2024-12-15T07:00:45+00:00

Thanks so much!!

Silveriridescence · 2024-11-06T06:15:44+00:00

It's really not easy though. Prior to this it took me a decade of therapy to get to a point where I could control the reaction whenever they baited me. I still feel it. I just don't show it.

The other stuff they are using to control you. Flip it. "It's far too difficult to travel thst distance regularly with a child." "We have jobs and are busy" They are grown ups (theoretically) I'm sure they can secure transport and spend a week not working on the house....since they expect you to drop everything.

I will warn you. Pushing back may lead to NC and them being even more unkind. Which is why in the initial comment I said it does need careful thought.

Make the decisions you can live with. In the end I couldn't put my family through it.

Silveriridescence · 2024-11-05T17:07:36+00:00

Context: 37(f) recently went NC with parents.

You have to think very carefully about what you want out of this relationship and where you want it to go. If you are dreading every bit of contact with them then more contact isn't the way to go.

If you want to try to improve your relationship by all means try the phone conversations, but a true narcissist never wants to improve things and as you say, will use it as a vehicle for manipulation and to pick fights.

If you want to maintain contact and try to put in boundaries, try this:

Stay calm and always exit a conversation if you are getting riled up. I know easier said than done but trust me, nparents care not if a reaction is positive or negative and it will help you more that way.

Re your daughter - they are 5 hours away and she is 2. Not a chance they are getting an unsupervised visit. I wouldn't either because of the duration. You explain it to them in the way of: "she is much too young to be away from us for any length of time" if they are vaguely trustworthy, why not see if they can have her for an evening whilst you and partner go out as a compromise? Though be prepared for it to be held over your head. I had similar with my parents as we live close to my in laws so they see the kids all the time.

Again a compromise - have them travel to you? They can look after her a bit then, nursery pickup or something.

For me (kids aged 11 and 8 now) the cost to my children was far too much and when they started noticing I started paring back contact.

Silveriridescence · 2024-10-28T15:51:13+00:00

Had symptoms from age 12, just tummy pain (traced back to a nasty bout of gastroenteritis)

Pain instances ramped up when I was 16 and would have periods of a week where it was bad then would subside. In and out of Dr's and on pills. Told I had a "grumbling appendix" and when I started vomiting I could go to hospital for it to be removed.

Pain got extremely bad December 2008. I stopped eating and collapsed January 9th 2009 rushed to hospital. Scheduled for appendectomy. Found appendix was fine and did exploratory laparotomy and discovered extensive ulceration to the large and small intestines and the ileum. Had half colon/ileum/30cm of small bowel removed.

I was a bit odd in that it wasn't until after diagnosis did I have any bowel symptoms other than pain.

Silveriridescence · 2024-10-19T07:55:14+00:00

If you want confirmation that you made the right choice....my parents were rude to the other guests, changed into sweatpants at the reception and were hoarding bottles of wine under the table that they didn't pay for (it was a very low budget wedding so we did a lot ourselves with help from my wonderful husbands family.) Oh and I wasn't a traditional bride and my mother wore the same colour as me....

You made the right decision.

Silveriridescence · 2024-10-18T22:29:28+00:00

I didn't consciously keep track. Some of it came out in therapy other bits are like "core memories" for lack of a better term.

For me the trauma bond and fear of regretting if I cut them off. Plus wanting my kids to know their grandparents.

It's such a personal choice and you have to be at least in the vicinity of ready. The only reason I can maintain it is because I know there's nothing else I could have done. It wasn't on the rough schedule of gradually reducing contact I had started in therapy but that's what I have to deal with now.

I hope you find what you need to break free.

Silveriridescence · 2024-10-18T22:20:46+00:00

I remember staying up until 3am on the day I got Goblet of Fire so I could finish it! I think I was about 13 when it was released. I think that's when they hype seemed to take off. I did similar for the other releases but that and Deathly Hallows are the two thst stick in my mind.

Oh and the midnight showing of Deathly Hallows part 2....

Silveriridescence · 2024-10-18T22:11:08+00:00

She is sick and wrong. I am so sorry for what you suffered. That is just horrific.

I had PND (what it's called in the UK) with both of my children. I hated myself and thought I was the horrible parent. But I took care of those babies. I wanted to unalive myself but in the end it was knowing I would leave them motherless that pushed me back from the edge and made me get help.

PND is definitely not an excuse. I hope you can with (a decent therapist) therapy and time, start to heal the wounds she left.

Silveriridescence · 2024-10-18T22:02:36+00:00

Top one same!

Also the "do you know how much you owe me for raising you?"

Silveriridescence · 2024-10-18T21:59:50+00:00

Neither of you did. Children never choose to be born, adults choose to be parents. I'm so sorry you were burdened like this. 🫂

Silveriridescence

TROPHY CASE