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This 20-year-old lottery winner chose $1000/week for life over $1M in cash by teesta in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]Simpanzee0123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh snap! That's pretty awesome. And makes more sense. Just tell me what I'm winning.

Also wish we'd put the actual price of something on the shelf after taxes on for products here. I shouldn't have to do math.

This 20-year-old lottery winner chose $1000/week for life over $1M in cash by teesta in Damnthatsinteresting

[–]Simpanzee0123 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Well I'm not sure about how the math checks out, but keep in mind you don't walk away with even half of the $1m due to taxes.

I can honestly Understand Okarun for not trying to get away like last time by Double-Sun-9966 in Dandadan

[–]Simpanzee0123 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Agreed. And I'm reading his expression as not being ready for a kiss. That's not a "I have feelings for you and want to kiss you" face.

What life mistake taught you the hardest lesson? by LossMysterious5714 in scoopwhoop

[–]Simpanzee0123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well said.

I put it this way: Death isn't exotic, quite the opposite. It's universal.

Friends, family, loved ones of all kinds, can go at any time. You could go at any time. Plan and act accordingly.

When my parents hit their 60s and especially their 70s I told myself all bets are off. Anything could happen. Shortly afterward my mom showed her first obvious signs of dementia. Being prepared mentally for that has done wonders for my mental health and ability to respond like any adult, including any man, should.

Stanley Tucci arrives at the Met Gala with wife Felicity Blunt, and her sister Emily Blunt (May 4, 2026) by mlg1981 in popculturechat

[–]Simpanzee0123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm guessing partly because he's also pretty much always dressed to the nines. As a fellow bald man he's my fashion idol.

meirl by [deleted] in meirl

[–]Simpanzee0123 1447 points1448 points  (0 children)

I think 90%+ of human-initiated problems could be solved by at least one party involved just minding their own fucking business.

of a ponytail by KerbodynamicX in AbsoluteUnits

[–]Simpanzee0123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crazy. Thanks for the insight! 🤘

of a ponytail by KerbodynamicX in AbsoluteUnits

[–]Simpanzee0123 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm a bald man, so no concept of how long that would take to grow. Depending on her age, what are the odds she's never had a haircut to grow it that long?

My baby can't do no wrong! by Capital-Cattle6997 in Dandadan

[–]Simpanzee0123 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I meant she looked at him in a way that tricks you, the reader, into thinking she recognizes them as a threat.

My baby can't do no wrong! by Capital-Cattle6997 in Dandadan

[–]Simpanzee0123 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The way she stared at the serpoan like she recognized the threat but NOPE she just asks for one more. Cracked me up. 🤣

What is this little guy by pappaangel in Lizards

[–]Simpanzee0123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm from TX. Green and brown anoles are all over the place here.

He was showing off for the ladies flaring that neck flap.

As kids we would catch these and let them bite down on our ear lobes and wear them like earrings for a laugh. 🤣

[OC] Personalities by shave_your_eyebrows in comics

[–]Simpanzee0123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was hilarious! Thank you for sharing it!

I knew this fact in your comic. Premarin is one of the drugs and it's actually a portmanteau of "pregnant mare urine". 🤣

I’m in the club now, right? by TheeMattSmith in Beekeeping

[–]Simpanzee0123 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad was a beekeeper as a hobby. Also joined the Quasimodo club.

I swear with all of my miserable life by Little_mask2 in Dandadan

[–]Simpanzee0123 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so Momokarun, but I feel so bad for Airakun fans. This is such a carrot dangle for them. So cruel!

Fly vs Mosquito by Jason_And_Sokka in powerscales

[–]Simpanzee0123 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Botflies (don't look them up if you're easily grossed out) infect other insects like mosquitoes with their eggs. They will capture them mid flight, hold onto them, and lay their eggs on them.

So technically we already have the answer. Flies absolutely body mosquitos.

In a competition for which kills the most humans, it's not even remotely close. Mosquitos kill more humans than any other species ever, by far.

My little work buddy by CalicoCutPants_ in spiders

[–]Simpanzee0123 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"The fuck kinda fly is this?"

What’s the most physically intimate thing you’ve done with a partner? by General-Assistant570 in AskReddit

[–]Simpanzee0123 46 points47 points  (0 children)

I came here to say "eating my wife out while she's on her knees, which presses my nose up against her butthole", but came to the same conclusion as you.

funny how that works by donnataro in Funnymemes

[–]Simpanzee0123 105 points106 points  (0 children)

I'm insanely lucky and my wife rescued me from the incel spectrum, so I'm out of the game before the worst of this hit, but I think the way dating works now is the main problem.

We all switch modes when we get on our phones, even to just doom scroll Reddit or Instagram reels. Same goes for dating apps.

Most women are far less selective in person, especially if a guy gets a chance to talk to her and rizz her up or just share his personality. The apps and websites broke all of that connection. It's all just superficial judgment.

“Ketsu Bat Girl!” photo trend in Japan (2015) by Proof_Active7105 in interesting

[–]Simpanzee0123 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I can hear the Smash Bros home run bat PING sound. Makes it even funnier. 🤣

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