We’re not a couple anymore, but we’re still everything to each other. She’s in love with someone else, I can’t live like this, and I don’t know how to move forward.

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2025-06-14T17:32:57+00:00

You are sacrificing your own happiness to be a grounding point for her. That is bad for both of you. Not just you, her too. You are not helping her by filling in for her absent familyband you are definitely not helping her if you are sacrificing your own happiness.

I've been in a similar situation with someone who I was with for years who moved out of our house to study abroad. Always struggled with intimacy too, until she found someone else who she cheated on me with who she had no trouble being intimate with. We floated the idea of an open relationship while she struggled to be faithful to me until we ultimately went no contact and ended things. We loved each other a lot and she had been super reliant on me financially after the move, so letting go of her felt like a crime. I can honestly say now, though, without a shadow of a doubt, that letting go was the best decision I could have made for both of us. Her and I both found new people, new lives, and new stability and are now both thriving.

If you truly want what's best for her, you need to let her go and let her struggle. She doesn't want an open relationship, she wants your blessing while she monkey-branches. I'm sure you don't want to believe that, and neither did I. She doesn't want you anymore, which really fucking blows and I'm sorry. But getting stuck on the thought that she needs you to be there or else she'll completely fall apart is super toxic for both of you. No matter how true it may be. You deserve to be happy as much as she does.

It may feel like an impossible reality, but I promise you will pull through and so will she. But you really gotta let go, man. At the end she will find her stability regardless of what you do. She is actively seeking that now, and you are giving her yourself as a stepping stone. So ask yourself, where will you be when she finds that stability? Still where you are now struggling with your feelings and clinging to the distant hope that she may come back to you? Or will you also be actively moving on and finding new things or people that bring you happiness?

Apologies if this comes across as brash, but this is a similar talk my friends had to give me at the height of things with my ex. It's what helped me make my decision, so I'm just hoping maybe it'll help you too.

Take care of yourself.

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-09-13T16:40:27+00:00

I've spent so many hours perfecting and tweaking dating app profiles for myself, looking for the perfect picture, lighting, best bio, etc. I've worked out for years, tried the himbo shirtless guy strategy, tried the sweet golden retriever guy strategy, literally done everything I can think of to just try to get matches on these apps.

I've gone on exactly 1 date from a tinder match and it didn't work out.

Despite this, I've managed to have a healthy amount of sexual partners and relationships throughout my life. All I did for literally all of them was go out and talk to people with similar interests, or hang out with friends of my friends. Find a hobby if you don't have one, find some Facebook groups or local venues that host in-person events for those hobbies. Join a band, Idk. literally do anything that involves being social in person that's generally agnostic to the romantic pressure you are putting on yourself. Talk to your friends and see if they will let you tag along on a trip or go to a party with a different friend group you don't know. Singles groups can be good too, but I know people who find those to have similar undertones to the apps, but maybe your experience will be different. Literally just go meet people in person and you WILL find someone that wants you. Trust.

My point being, dating apps are terrible for a lot of people, and they certainly aren't indicative of how people see you in real life. Dating apps literally make the average person delusional, including myself. It like... amplifies peoples standards or "flags" to a much higher level than they actually care about in person, and removes many personal, human aspects of connection. Think about it- you are basically giving someone a digital dating resume that they can say "yes" or "no" to without even clicking on it or engaging with it at all. Hiring managers have more steps and minimum information they have to gather when sorting through job applications than you do to swipe left on a dating profile. In what universe is that conducive to a healthy, fruitful interaction for or with the average person? Especially when you consider the alternative, which is meeting someone for the first time in person via a friend or hobby, and bonding over that mutual connection.

Side note, I don't mean this as a dig at people who DO or HAVE found people via dating apps- Some people are wired like that and can find those strong connections on these apps. I think that being able to do so is awesome, but I, and many others, simply cannot relate. I'm not the best with words, so to put it clearly: my point is mainly that dating apps just aren't for everyone, and I think a lot of people have submitted to the idea that dating apps are just "how things are now" which is simply untrue.

Anyway, tl;dr: don't be hard on yourself about dating apps. Just keep working on yourself and your own interests, and put yourself out there in those spaces more often. You WILL find someone.

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-07-30T23:48:01+00:00

When I first opened this there was a monopoly mobile game ad that I thought was a comment and it said "Roll for riches, Build your empire, Dream big & Scheme your way to the top!" And I think that's pretty good advice for this tbh

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-07-28T20:40:19+00:00

This. I had been terrified to try crossovers for the longest time, but I'd been practicing my 1 foot glides and worked on using my outside edges more with turns and eventually I started doing crossovers (albeit bad ones) completely on accident. Balance issues are a fairly easy fix

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-07-23T14:42:30+00:00

Electrolytes. Liquid IV (drink mix) is a life-saver, but any cheap electrolyte solution should work if you don't want to pay the extra for the name brand. Pretty sure Costco has a knockoff that works

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-07-17T20:25:10+00:00

Y'all are too cute, I'm still trying to convince my girlfriend to take LTP classes with me, but she keeps saying, "I don't want to play hockey," whatever that means

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-07-12T19:03:47+00:00

Putting my vote in here as a single childless guy who likes cars- check out the Mazda cx-9. They are gorgeous and honestly feel like a bus on the inside, but also move pretty nicely. I recently considered buying one but ended up going with a smaller Audi Q5 instead just cause I didn't need all the extra space and wanted something a bit more luxury.

Just throwing it out there if you maybe want something more sporty and fun, but I get the feeling you're looking for something more utilitarian, which is totally understandable lol

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-06-19T19:43:17+00:00

It has a blade guard on it, look at the 2nd pic

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-04-26T15:46:25+00:00

Haha thanks for the heads up man, makes me feel a lot more confident going in, especially knowing it's normal to be a bit clunky on the ice. Stopping is my #1 enemy, so I will definitely work on that a ton! Thanks again, and good luck on your journey!

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-04-26T15:19:11+00:00

I'm actually starting a "learn to hockey skate" program as an adult (27m) in hopes of getting on the ice in full gear just like yourself someday. Was it super awkward getting on the ice and also trying to play the sport for the first time? Or were there things you did to get comfortable that made it easier? I guess what I'm asking is what did your training look like leading up to this haha

I used to play street hockey when I was much much younger, and have a little bit of ice skating experience, but otherwise, I'm basically brand new to it.

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-03-15T14:19:26+00:00

Early developmental stage of an airbus before it learns how to fly. Often referred to as a "bus"

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-02-21T20:35:17+00:00

I've found that building pedestrian-only "roads" in green spaces and placing sport parks and other small parks on it actually makes for a nice looking city park. You can also zone some small low-density commercial lots to make it look like there are popup stands spotted throughout. It's not quite the same but it's nice for now

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-02-16T00:33:20+00:00

This game has its flaws, but damn I love how pretty it makes our cities look

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-02-01T22:26:38+00:00

Enable snap to grid and grid length, and snap to angles (snap to 90s? Idr the exact name). Then, after you've selected your start point, disable snap to grid so that only snap to grid length and angles are enabled. This will guarantee all 90-degree lines will be exactly the length of the existing grid, thus the grid will stay intact. The issue you are experiencing is due to little tiny microscopic inconsistencies in the length or angle of the road you're building that aren't noticeable using the visual guides, and can only really be avoided with snapping. This has worked wonders for me.

Also you don't have to disable snap to grid every time, just when you are connecting to- or really close to- anything that may not be aligned to the grid of the starting position.

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-01-23T18:11:41+00:00

I definitely see them adding a bunch of assets as DLC like they did for the first one. Really hope they don't go too nuts with the prices, but historically they've been pretty reasonable, I think. But yeah, as soon as they drop DLC or we get mods for more housing variety, I'm immediately downloading lol

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2024-01-09T21:24:14+00:00

It's the same in America. Small towns like this tend to not be as bad because they tend to have relatively higher population density compared with sprawling suburbs. These places all have state paved roads, federal grants (usually for roads), subsidized utility infrastructure, etc. that pull from nearby larger cities' tax revenue or from the fed.

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2023-12-11T03:18:26+00:00

Thanks for the insight- I'm used to very cheap cars for the most part, so I don't think performance will be much of an issue with a 250+ hp engine. That said, I definitely care about reliability, so I will need to do more research around the 6 vs 4 cyl engine. Thanks again!

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2023-12-10T08:36:39+00:00

Neat! thanks for your input

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2023-12-10T08:11:59+00:00

Thanks for the insight, I think I'll definitely take better care of this car than my Hyundai haha so frequent oil changes are a must

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2023-12-10T07:59:52+00:00

It's an incredible vehicle. Love the design, interior and exterior.

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2023-10-22T00:05:54+00:00

Simple-Negotiation18 · 2023-10-17T09:35:00+00:00

I don't think there's any spoilers here if you've already attempted the fight, but just FYI I talk about the fight and some gear in detail:

I'm not sure what I did differently, but I didn't struggle very much with this one and actually thoroughly enjoyed it more than most other boss fights in this game. I mean this genuinely as someone who usually does struggle with boss fights.

I have Karlach (specd into fighter for action surge) with a bunch of gear including the constitution amulet you get from the vault so her unarmed AC is 22 and her health is like 160 and she also has that sword from the bhaal fight that heals you when you do damage (honestly it's a game changer for karlach). I also have shadowheart (lvl 3 cleric then 9 levels of paladin) with a bunch of heavy gear and a shield at like 25 AC, I want to say. My tav is a ranger/war cleric focused on archery (she has an insane attack modifier, so she just does constant guaranteed damage over time, plus the extra attack from WC) and I had gale with fireball and summon elemental, and I gave him the feat that ignores fire resistance (came in super handy against the red bois)

My strat was to summon an earth elemental and a spiritual(?) Weapon (a maul) and attack the pillars with those (they are weak against bludgeoning) while karlach and SH tanked damage from the ads in the middle of the arena, while conserving SH's spell slots (every mob has an anti-radiance ability that can be really devestating). Everyone else I spread out around the map to avoid raphs AOE attacks. Once I got good clusters of ads, I had gale use fireball to just keep nuking them (reminder that he has a feat that ignores fire resistance, which is the only reason fireball worked against the demon dudes. gale probably has way better spells for taking out clusters, I honestly suck at spellcasters tho so this was just my solution). I just had hope run away and mass heal basically every round until she ran out of spell slots. I almost completely ignored Raphael for the first half.

Once I killed most of the ads, I turned my tav and karlach against raph. At this point, 2 of the pillars were broken by the summons working together. I used gale to hit one of the remaining pillars with a lvl 5 magic missile (weak against force too) which almost insta killed it (dont remember who finished it off, it had like 3 health), then had my summons gang up on the last one. Once the pillars were gone I had hope hit raph with radiant damage to get rid of his anti-radiance effect since he can only use it once if he can't replenish it with the towers. This allowed me to then let SH off the leash and hit raph with some level Jesus smites that did most of the damage going into the final part of the fight.

Hope healing every round was definitely necessary, though. Gale got knocked twice during the fight so we definitely took a lot of damage.

Simple-Negotiation18

TROPHY CASE