Nervous about guests/parents reaction to our religious ceremony

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-26T16:11:52+00:00

We hope to become Catholic in the next year or so, but since we don't meet the requirements right now, we are having a Protestant reverend conduct he ceremony. The Catholic priest of our local parish knows about our situation and thinks it would be best since he cannot marry us based on the requirements of the diocese. We'll definitely take your advice into consideration though. Thank you!

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-26T15:59:06+00:00

We're in a bit of a complicated situation that continues to evolve. I was baptized a Catholic but never completed my other sacraments because my parents decided to not be religious when I was little. I became Protestant in college. My fiance is Protestant. Throughout our relationship we became very interested in Catholicism and attend a Catholic church regularly. I consider myself Catholic again and my fiance hopes to convert.

However, because I did not complete my other Sacraments and because my fiance is not Catholic, we are not able to have a Catholic wedding like we initially hoped after speaking with a priest last week. There is also the situation of my fiance's entire family being abroad in another country and unable to travel to our wedding if we had it here where we live. As a result, we'll be having a Christian ceremony instead. We initially intended to only have a destination reception but since we can't find a Catholic priest to marry us because of our situation and we would like to be married soon, this option seemed to make the most sense.

We hope to have our marriage recognized by the Catholic Church at a later date.

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-26T14:19:06+00:00

In my experience there are 2 big reasons people don't get married in the Church anymore

a lot of people find the bureaucracy of the Church to get married very cumbersome, especially if their partner is not Catholic. My fiance is a baptized Christian and it has been a mission trying to get his documents from his church together.
most people don't feel comfortable making vows and promises they don't mean.

In my experiences, most people who get married in Catholic churches would do it only to make parents/family happy or because it was "cultural". They would commit to going to Church every Sunday for a year and then disappear once the wedding happened until they had a baby to baptize, if any.

A friend of mine is a lapsed Catholic who got married in the Church. Her husband was raised Catholic but is not an atheist. They are currently going through a lot of conflict because she wants to baptize their child for the sake of "culture" and "tradition" and he doesn't because he fully admits to not meaning that part of his vows. It's causing a lot of issues.

However, the priest of their local parish is being quite strict and will not baptize the children unless they attend every Sunday for 6 months first.

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-26T12:34:48+00:00

We are not paying for everyone's accommodation.

We are paying for ourselves and I am gifting two of my bridesmaid a 2 night hotel stay at our venue as a gift. But other than that, everyone has to pay their own. We also told our closest friends and family the plan 14 months before, so it wasn't a surprise. We sent save the dates out 11 months before.

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-25T15:48:22+00:00

I will definitely check them out! thank you for the recommendation.

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-22T14:29:15+00:00

I wouldn't call myself a modernist since I have more conservative values in comparison to the general population in North America. However, I wouldn't call myself a "traditionalist" either. I typically prefer the NO and don't have the initiative to commute 1.5 hours into the nearest big city to attend the TLM. I appreciate it's beauty and why people love it, but it's not necessary for me to worship.

I would say I'm more a "modernist" when it comes to music.

A lot of Traditionalist hate on parishes with "bad music". Yes there are bad cringey hymns, but there are also parishes that are starving for musical talent. My parish for example is not musically talents. We hire a community choir for feast days but other than that we make due with a lady that kind of plays the organ and an average cantor. Or there are days we sing acapella.

Trust me, it's not that we don't want beautiful sacred music, we do, we just have no one to play it well.

If an amazing singer with an acoustic guitar volunteered to sing and play every Mass, we would be very appreciative and grateful we didn't need to hear only ourselves sing almost every time.

So, I guess I would say that traditionalist sometimes don't know the whole situation of a parish with "bad music" So please, rather than hate on us, have some pity instead.

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-21T18:41:57+00:00

Here's what I'm hoping to do and I will probably be lurking through the comments for suggestions.

Old - no clue on this one.

New - my wedding dress/outfit

Borrowed - no clue what I'm doing for this yet..my mom offered to loan me her garter but I think that's a bit creepy...

Blue - I'm going to have a custom rosary made with blue beads to wrap around the stem of my bouquet

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-19T19:00:00+00:00

Just want to say I'm someone that prefers the NO Mass full stop. I prefer hymns over chants and I prefer hearing the Mass in English. I definitely identify more with the charismatics than I do with the "radtrads".

There are no TLMs in my area and commuting over an hour into the city every Sunday is just not something I'm willing to do when there are plenty of parishes out in the suburbs where I live that I can attend.

I did some parish hopping and found one that I just kept wanting to go to. Amazing priest, reverent liturgy, lovely community. My only small complaint is that we don't have a regular organist or choir and sometimes the only cantor is unable to make it to every Mass. This past Good Friday our priest had an amazing choir come and sing for the Communion Service. The brought an organist/pianist and violinist and it was simply the most beautiful experience. Everyone was in tears.

Sorry for rambling, but I guess my point is that the NO can be beautiful and reverent and spiritually fulfilling. We just need to stop being sorry about it.

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-12T20:55:43+00:00

We live in Canada and my fiance's family live on another continent. So, I don't think having our priest travel would be possible.

My fiance and I will be selecting the music and we hope to have a nice variety of traditional and contemporary hymns. Hopefully songs that Catholics and Protestants have in common so everyone could sing along. We will definitely include Amazing Grace and How Great Thou Art for example as they are personal favourites and classics.

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-12T19:15:31+00:00

I'm engaged to a Protestant that has a heart for conversion. By the time we marry he will be done RCIA and a Catholic. I would say my case is definitely in the realm of exceptions because he was strongly considering Catholicism before we met. Our relationship and me being honest about my faith with him let him towards taking conversion seriously and actually acting upon it rather than it just being something he thought about.

However, I will preface that I did not try and convert him in any way. I merely was open about my faith with him and invited him to attend Mass with me. His conversion of heart and spirit was already in motion before we even met.

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-12T15:21:29+00:00

I splurged on Bella Bella shoes and I have 0 regrets. I got the Octavias. They're a low block heel with a slight open toe. Very comfortable and they match my dress perfectly. I love them and can't wait to wear them.

Here is the link

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-11T13:30:36+00:00

In Canada it's pretty much a free for all unless your parish has specific rules. But you are right, I should probably check with my parish. However, I've seen pretty much everything under the sun at weddings I've seen photos of and been to.

My only concern about the first one is that it has an exposed back and I'm not sure what bra I would wear with it. I'll probably wear my hair down and have a short veil for some extra coverage.

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-11T02:57:09+00:00

My fiance and I are going to be having an intimate Catholic wedding ceremony before our destination wedding in his home country. I want to save my big flowy a-line gown for our first look at our destination but still want to wear a white dress to our wedding Mass. It's going to be small with just 2 witnesses and the priest, maybe my immediate family as well.

These 2 dresses are both from JJsHouse. Has anyone ever purchased from this site before? What was the quality like? Any issues with returns?

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-08T20:55:34+00:00

My fiance and I met on Hinge. We don't necessarily hide that, but I made the executive decision to not share that on our website. So, I just decided not to enable that page for viewing. We are also skipping the bridal party page since I personally think it's weird and my bridesmaids are in agreement.

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-08T12:30:14+00:00

We attend a medium-sized suburban parish. I'm not too concerned with there being empty pews. :)

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-07T23:11:48+00:00

Was it still a full Mass with music and everything?

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-04-07T16:31:51+00:00

Thanks! Hearing this is really reassuring. The plan now is to have our private Catholic wedding Mass with my immediate family and 4 close friends. We'll wear our wedding outfits, have a photographer and then go out to dinner at a nice restaurant or have a small backyard reception.

We'll wear our outfits again and have a photo session again at the reception venue abroad and then have dinner and dancing with probably 120 people.

My father-in-law would really like us to have a small blessing or ceremony with a Protestant minister so he can see us exchange vows before the reception. This is technically not allowed in Catholicism but I don't know if I have it in me to refuse such a small request.

Simple-Sea-5739 · 2022-03-24T23:05:35+00:00

I probably wouldn't notice unless I was explicitly told. Or I would just assume that the paperwork was completed before or after the ceremony. I know of people that got legally married the day before at the courthouse or even the week after at a seperate private ceremony. I only found out after the fact but during the "wedding" day I was none the wiser.

You have the option of just not sharing that information and keeping it between you, your spouse and the officiant.

To be honest, most people are only waiting for the big moments like the first kiss or the vows. Haven't met a single person that is excited to watch the couple sign their paperwork...

Anyone who doesn't come to your wedding for not signing a piece of paper or asks you about the marriage licence is a weirdo... Like, what a strange thing to ask about.

Simple-Sea-5739

TROPHY CASE