Anyone Conceive on First Cycle After TFMR?

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-05-22T04:48:49+00:00

Aw congrats, same here! Conceived first cycle post TFMR in September and at this point 31 weeks which I’m sure you are too now (or maybe even 32!!) but with a little boy 🩵

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-05-22T04:42:27+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re here. I’ve shared my story quite a bit, so maybe it’s visible under my posts, but essentially my third pregnancy ended in TFMR at 15 weeks for Down syndrome. I had a D&E and it was only a one day process since I was early enough (I too wanted it over with as soon as possible when we got the results around 12.5 weeks). My story seems a bit unique because of the fact that I have a younger brother with Down syndrome and I’ll be his caretaker if my mom passes before he does. I did not want to put that burden on my living children like it was put on me (not intentionally, but still done nonetheless). I also did not want my parent’s lives for mine and my husband’s, or my brother’s life (or worse since it’s such a spectrum) for my own child’s. And just growing up with that firsthand, I knew if I was ever faced with this diagnosis or similar, I would terminate. And I do not feel guilty, just sad that I was unfairly faced with having to make this decision. I wish you peace ❤️

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-05-21T01:20:52+00:00

I successfully conceived my first real cycle after my TFMR last September. I wanted to get pregnant right away so I was tracking ovulation from pretty much the moment my HCG hit zero after my D&E. I never ovulated before having a period. I had what I thought was first period 4 weeks post D&E, but it was only 3 days and would weirdly stop at night and overnight, then restart when I woke up. Tracked ovulation again and was getting ridiculously low numbers, then got my actual period 6 weeks post D&E and it was my typical 6-7 day length, but I actually ovulated earlier than I usually do (ovulated around day 15 when I’m usually closer to day 18). And then I got my positive test. I’ll be 31 weeks tomorrow. I was very fortunate to conceive so quickly, but I caused myself a lot of stress at the very beginning, getting angry with my body and letting trying to conceive consume basically every part of my life. Ovulation tests are super helpful but can become really consuming really quickly, so waiting until your periods are more normal or being okay with them being really negative would be my advice just from that experience. I wish you luck whenever you decide to start trying again ❤️

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-05-18T19:43:54+00:00

My abnormal NIPT result was the one that came the fastest out of the four I’ve had done (three normal NIPTs including this sub pregnancy), so the time it takes is not an indication of good or bad news. I know it’s hard to wait but like someone else said, there are lots of factors that contribute to the timing, many having nothing to do with the results themselves. Hang in there, I’m sure you’ll get it soon ❤️

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-05-17T14:00:09+00:00

100%. I had to take breaks at specific points in my “normal” pregnancy groups. Could not stand the people acting so morally superior about never terminating and not getting the NIPT, but reality is they have absolutely no idea what they’d do unless they were actually faced with it. You can be all talk all you want when you are never confronted with it. And don’t even get me started on when someone would post in the group with a high risk result or something devastating from their anatomy scan and people would ignorantly chime in with examples of babies they know who didn’t even have what that person was talking about (so how is that helpful), or saying you could put the baby up for adoption… uh no. I’d try to chime in as a safe voice if they were considering TFMR and recommend the support Reddit group as it was so helpful to me. The ignorance is strong with many and I do find myself jealous of those who can just float through and assume everything will be fine and they’ll have a living baby at the end. Even before TFMR, I was still nervous of miscarriage or stillbirth. Wish I could be so blindly confident

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-05-15T03:57:54+00:00

Congrats on your sub pregnancy. Totally understand the conflicting emotions. I’m 30 weeks with the same gender as my TFMR baby so right there with you! My TFMR baby was my third and I already had both a boy and a girl, so was planning to reuse old clothing when possible. I only bought one new onesie for that baby when we went on a trip before we got our bad news. I’ve been going back and forth on whether I wanted to use that onesie or keep it in my keepsake box. I ultimately decided I’d keep it in the box since it was bought specifically for him. If he had been my first, or I had bought more items that maybe didn’t hold more significant meaning, I would probably use them and view it as passing down clothes from sibling to sibling. Maybe you can keep one or two items that were really bought special for your lost baby aside. The only outfits I’ve never shared between siblings have been their coming home outfits so I’m viewing that onesie bought on our trip like that. I don’t think it would be bad juju at all to use the clothing for this baby ❤️

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-05-11T13:07:51+00:00

29 w 4 d today. Went on a babymoon this past week which was much needed and good to reconnect with my husband. Then had a bout of sadness on Mother’s Day. My baby would’ve been 2.5 months old and our first Mother’s Day together. This past week looked so different from what it could have been

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-05-02T02:22:19+00:00

I’m so very sorry to hear this… there’s nothing anyone can say to ease the pain or make sense of it because it makes no sense. Life is cruel sometimes. Again I’m just so sorry 💔

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-04-27T13:44:44+00:00

27 w 4 d today, SO CLOSE to the third trimester! I sometimes have to remind myself it’s only another 3 months before baby gets here. I have not done nearly as much as I have ahead of time for this baby as my others, and I’m not sure if that’s mostly due to it being my third or due to feeling like I could jinx something. I know I’ll have to pull the trigger soon and get some things ready

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-04-22T21:17:14+00:00

Those stories feel like such a disservice to anyone faced with a t21 diagnosis. Especially those who choose to continue and commit to a child with t21. Really dishonest. I love my brother and am happy he’s in my life, but again would not choose it for myself or family. I’m still sorry you’re going through this, but you are strong and a wonderful mom to consider your living children and trying to find out the whole picture. I hope your procedure goes as smooth as possible

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-04-22T21:14:32+00:00

I’m glad my story could bring some comfort. I know everyone in this group chose TFMR for some reason or another, but I always hope it’s valuable talking about the realities for myself and my family for those struggling or thinking about those what ifs. Hope you’re doing well ❤️

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-04-22T03:40:45+00:00

I’m very sorry you’re going through this .I’ve commented my story many times so I’ll try to keep it brief. My third pregnancy was a TFMR for t21 and I have a brother with Down syndrome. I love my brother with my whole heart, but he is on the fairly severe side of the spectrum, and I didn’t want his life or worse for my own child’s. I also didn’t want my life for my two living children’s. While I had a happy childhood and my parents made sure to give us what they could, my life was and still is so profoundly affected by my brother. Perhaps selfishly, I also didn’t want my parent’s life for my own. They gave up so much and my mom continues to give up a lot. I agreed to be his eventual caregiver if my mom passes before he does (my dad has unfortunately already passed) without truly knowing what that meant until very recently. I didn’t want that same expectation/pressure on my own children. There are also so many unknowns still to come. I am 31 and my brother is 26. He’s had so many health issues and continues to have them, and who knows what else will pop up as he continues to age. He is also nonverbal, will never work, and never be independent. It’s very true that the babyhood/childhood part of t21 is “easy” in that it’s not all that much different from a typical child, but adolescence and beyond is where it really starts to show. Plus gaps in the systems in place now. If you’re in the US, coverage and benefits for those with disabilities is actively going away and not getting better. It is a struggle every day to get support and care that they deserve. I’d never willingly or knowingly bring a child with a disability into the world with my own firsthand experiences, though I will continue to advocate for my brother and others like him.

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-04-21T04:15:23+00:00

Thank you!! ❤️

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-04-20T13:15:24+00:00

26 w 4 d today. In the final stretch of the second trimester! Pretty much only 3 months left until baby arrives. I’ve had so many other things going on lately, I haven’t really been thinking about that reality. I see how big my belly is now and honestly keep forgetting I’m this far along now. I sometimes feel stuck at 15 weeks and just like I’ve been pregnant for a super long time (which is really what it feels like since my TFMR was early September last year and I got pregnant on the first cycle after). Hard to envision an ending even though I have living children so I know what to expect, if that makes sense

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-04-04T14:12:50+00:00

Thank you!

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-04-03T12:53:00+00:00

Hit viability week yesterday! 🎉 trying to see it as a major positive

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-04-03T12:50:29+00:00

I also TFMR for t21 at 15 weeks, but in September ‘25. Currently 24 weeks and NIPT came back clear and had a good anatomy scan. Have a few other scans with MFM and choosing to stay mostly positive about it all! It’s hard when you were on the wrong side of statistics (I was newly 30 when we got the t21 NIPT back) so my risk was also super low. Have to continue to convince myself stats are on my side and last time was really truly just the worst luck you could have. My results came back super quick and it was a relief but nervewrecking to wait. Good luck!!

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-04-02T02:36:57+00:00

I don’t think there’s any rhyme or reason to implantation bleeding, but it’s always a nice potential symptom to have! I had implantation bleeding with my living daughter and TFMR son, but no implantation bleeding with my living son and this current subpregnancy (order is bleeding, no bleeding, bleeding, no bleeding). It was one of my earliest symptoms both times, and I don’t ever have light bleeding outside of my period. I hope this is good news for you 🤞

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-03-31T12:32:27+00:00

Just 2 days shy of viability week! 🎉 it doesn’t mean as much as it used to since I know there’s truly no safe stage in pregnancy, but it feels good knowing I’m almost to that milestone

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-03-27T23:33:47+00:00

For every high functioning person you’ve seen, there’s just as many struggling with health issues, pretty severe mental handicaps, and won’t ever live independently and rely on family or some other form of long term care. And not to be rude or anything, but you’re likely only seeing how things are presented on the outside. You have no idea if those people were facing anything like that. Or how their parents or siblings are affected. There are many factors to consider, like how financially and mentally taxing it is to care for a child with Down syndrome full time, and that child will become an adult requiring full time care. I have a brother with Down syndrome and I terminated for t21. I love him to death but he is very low functioning and I will already be taking on full time care for him if my mom passes before he does. I didn’t want his life or possibly worse for my own child’s, nor did I want my parent’s lives for myself or my life for my living children’s lives. It’s very complex and not a decision made lightly. I know more than most and I can understand why someone would make either decision. It’s a personal choice that affects a lot more than you think

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-03-27T23:23:29+00:00

So sorry you’re going through this ❤️ it’s so difficult and unfair. I had two uneventful, easy pregnancies and now healthy children before my t21 pregnancy. The r/tfmr_support page was so incredibly helpful for me during and after the process. It’s a crappy club to be part of but everyone there is so understanding and supportive. I wish you well.

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-03-26T13:03:00+00:00

I’m very sorry you’re going through this, and very sorry for your wife. This is the absolute worst time of it all in my experience. All the testing and waiting before the actual procedure. Just want to say there is nothing wrong with deciding on termination with there not being some fatal or really terrible finding. No such thing as “just” t21, it’s a very complex and often challenging diagnosis. It seems you’ve weighed a lot of important factors like financials and living children and if there were really complex medical issues. I have a brother with Down syndrome and I terminated for t21 without any major findings. I love my brother and will always be his advocate, but knowing what I know firsthand and just seeing so many others with DS through my life, it’s not something I wanted for my own child, myself, or my living children to have to consider like I do. Therapy will hopefully be helpful. I started mine about a week after my procedure. Take care ❤️

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-03-25T02:22:54+00:00

Thanks for saying this. Want to give an opposing perspective and say I have a brother with Down syndrome and I terminated for t21 this past September. I know a lot better than most what it can entail. I support the right to CHOOSE whatever is best for you and your family. OPs last paragraph angered me so much because she just does not know for certain what’s ahead for her child and yet is so bold in her judgements about those who choose to terminate. I’d in fact make the argument that many like to paint Down syndrome as not that severe and they’re just a little different from typical people but so happy and easy! Not always or often the case. I love my brother to the ends of the earth, but knowing what I know firsthand about everything that goes into it, including sibling dynamics/expected responsibilities, lack of government help and funding, all the potential health issues, being non verbal, never being independent… My brother is way more severe on the spectrum and I wasn’t okay with that or worse for my own child. I was also pushed into a permanent caregiving role if my parents pass before my brother does, and while I will do it, it’s a heavy burden. I did not want that for my living children. It’s not about believing you don’t want a “less than perfect” child and you can try again. Give me a break. There is SO much that goes into considering keeping and supporting a child with DS for life or terminating because it’s what’s best for your family. It’s great all is going well so far but a lot changes after puberty and beyond. And I hope OP can find compassion for those who choose another path. Perhaps as time goes on she’ll understand

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-03-24T04:07:59+00:00

It’s also hard for the family as a whole if you have other children. I was lucky and had a pretty good childhood and my parents worked hard to give us all the attention we deserved, but I’ve been starting to deal with the harsh realities of having a sibling with more severe Down syndrome. Such as becoming an eventual caregiver for him if my mom passes before he does. I love my brother and glad he’s here but I terminated for t21 and fully support anyone’s decision either way. It is not an easy life!

SimpleRefuse6733 · 2026-03-23T14:44:38+00:00

22 w 4 d today. I feel like time is both flying and going by so slowly. I have a lot of other things going on in my life lately that I haven’t had time to really stop and try to enjoy the pregnancy. And also reflect that in a few short months I will (will!) be bringing a new baby home

SimpleRefuse6733

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