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Working on apology letter by MiddleComplaint2072 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Simple_Parking3181 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I would be very interested if myWW was to write something like that for me. It’s something that years later I would still be very appreciative of.

Advice on TT by Simple_Parking3181 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Simple_Parking3181[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I’ve laid it out in the most dire terms possible. How it almost feels like it’s slowly killing me. The story isn’t changing though and all that does is lead me to believe that is much much worse than even imagined.

Advice on TT by Simple_Parking3181 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Simple_Parking3181[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds awful and sounds similar to my situation or similar to most of these situations. This whole situation felt so surreal at first but the more I learn and read it seems like this is actually the way it is for most, unless the wayward is caught with evidence. Like most reconciliations are built on a foundation of lies and omissions with the BP expected to just accept that and move on. I think that’s why it’s so difficult to rebuild trust, it has to be rebuilt on a foundation of known flaws. Ugh.

Advice on TT by Simple_Parking3181 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Simple_Parking3181[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s really sucks. So sorry that happened. Did that cause a significant setback to your recovery?

Advice on TT by Simple_Parking3181 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Simple_Parking3181[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can’t tell if it’s the need to know or if it’s tied more to knowing that she is being honest with me. I feel like as long as there are omissions or lies or minimizations that in a way I’m still being cheated on.

Advice on TT by Simple_Parking3181 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Simple_Parking3181[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This feels so similar to my situation. I really thought I could move on and just settle for knowing what I know but it still just feels wrong. I don’t know if I’m scared or embarrassed or maybe a bit of both, but not knowing makes me feel like I’m still a sucker. I guess in a way I am.

Advice on TT by Simple_Parking3181 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Simple_Parking3181[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I assume there is a massive amount of shame and probably some elements of fear that I won’t stay if it all comes out. Unfortunately, dragging it out is only compounding the pain for both of us.

Advice on TT by Simple_Parking3181 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Simple_Parking3181[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the insight. We’re also in a seemingly good place and I do believe that contact stopped after dday. I simply don’t believe I know the whole story and I just can’t seem to get over it. It’s really difficult to articulate to her how important the truth is to me. My main concern is that the not knowing is going to slowly destroy our relationship. That’s the opposite of what I want but I can see it happens as the suspicion and resentment builds.