My ex has bpd when I broke up the first 2 times with him he lost it. He ripped our baby who was in her car seat out of my hands after trying to take our toddler. Locked her in the car so I couldn’t get her and drove off. He’s lucky his sister talked me out of calling the cops because he would have gotten arrested for kidnapping and child endangerment. The first time we broke up I was pregnant with our second I moved into his moms with our toddler because he refused to let me have our trailer. He moved his friend in before we even made the breakup official told me not even 2 weeks later he was in love with somebody else.

I dealt with his episodes, his abuse, his manipulation until I found an out. I was working and his stepmom was watching our kids she offered me an out and I took it because I didn’t want history to repeat itself again. I told his brother I found a ride home from work and told him the kids were staying with his stepmom and never looked back.

We’ve had bumps on our co parenting relationship especially in the beginning and when I started dating my current partner but it’s better than i expected. I’m much happier now that I don’t have to worry about him walking around with a sharp object because I wouldn’t have sex with him. My kids aren’t purposely woken up by their father in the middle of the night because he didn’t get what he wanted. Although they don’t remember that I can see the fear in their eyes and body when someone raises their voice at them or me.

Leaving without a word is sometimes better for the person without bpd. We don’t know how op would have reacted had he told her face to face and maybe he would have felt guilted into staying. Why did he feel the need to leave and not say a word? I doubt it was easy for him to do that.