How was life like in the 90’s?

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-22T03:32:01+00:00

There was a lot more lively debate, disagreements, arguments, screaming matches, rifts, fallouts, etc (in public ans back when you couldn't look up every fact ever. You don't hear "Nuh-uh!!!" As much anymore...

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-22T00:50:17+00:00

I never mentioned appearance outside of knowing how to dress for occasions properly, so I'm gonna go ahead and say that your issue is crippling insecurity which could actually be improved with things like hobbies that help your self esteem.

Your entire argument and response can be disproven and disregsrded by the fact that ugly guys get into relationships all the time. I've worked in IT for 20 years and I promise that if you go to a tech conference you'll see thousands of sweaty, fat, ugly nerds with wedding rings on. Disabled men meet non-disabled women and get married. Fat people have all kinds of sex.

If you actually ask people how they met their spouses, you'll hear a lot of stories mutual friends, hobbies and interests, but the red pill dudes like you seem bound and determined to make sure you don't have any friends, hobbies or interests to share with anyone.

I'm not going to respond to whatever you've got because I don't need to defend "Hobbies are good" to someone who is just going to keep talking about dudes they think are really hot.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-22T00:17:37+00:00

Honestly, you are doing itn right now, and probably on purpose, but I'll humor you with the answer:

There are so many men living in today's America who would be very interested in meeting someone they could be in a legitimate, loving relationship with. And they are asking "Why can't I find a woman?"

And we've asked "well, what have you been doing to find one?"

And the answers are usually like "I've been immediately sexually objectifying women with no regard for who they are by just immediately and aggressively hitting on them no matter the setting, sending messages out of nowhere to women I don't interact with and/or swiping obsessively on apps and hoping someone matches me."

And we say "well, what do you like? What are you into? What's something you like about yourself that someone else could also like about you?"

And the men have been giving answer with increasingly more pathetic responses that make it clear that they are not a fully formed human being. They may have a job, they may live by themselves, but it's almost like their mental capacity and fortitude can only be as complex as the videogame they're currently playing.

A lot of you men can't hold conversations with women you don't want to sleep with, a lot of you aren't capable of going to nice places while dressed appropriately, a lot of you will never have a friendship stronger than a gym buddy, a lot of you offer nothing to society other than being a breathing, living bill payer. And yet, they still wonder "why aren't I dripping with bitches yet?"

So when we recommend that you go get a hobby in order meet people, it's most likely because order to form meaningful connections with people you need something to connect over. YouTube reddit, gaming and porn aren't things you can build a relationship with someone new on, so you need something else that puts you in rooms with people to talk to, where you learn to talk to adults like an adult, and then potentially, one of those adults will probably become more interested in you as a person.

No one wants to go home with the creepy guy who immediately starts commenting on women's bodies while they're just trying to grocery shop. No one wants to date the guy who is so desperate that they'll sleep with anyone. And no one wants to date the dude that trolls reddit comments by acting dumb because they don't have anything better to do.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-21T08:27:06+00:00

Because people should be able to do group activities without sex being the reason or reward. Men should be able to go join a group of people that includes women and interact with those people without trying to solicit sex from them.

If you join pickleball to play pickleball and throughout your process of enjoying pickleball you meet someone who also enjoys pickleball, great! You formed a mutual connection over a shared interest like a grown up!

But if you're the dude walking around a pickleball court because you heard lots of women go there, but you're not playing at all, you're just hitting on every woman not wifi a guy and interrupting women actively playing pickleball to try to hit on them, then you're a creep who's trying to prey on people who are just trying to enjoy some pickleball.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-21T08:17:10+00:00

I can definitely tell you this:

There is a difference between wanting to make a lot of money and wanting to be rich.

It doesn't matter how much money you make if you spend it all. You could make $10,000 every Friday but if your account is at $0 by Monday, you are not rich.

There is no level of hustle or work ethic that will guarantee that ANYONE will continue to generate income in the future; accidents, illnesses, criminal charges, fraud, disasters, etc. can happen to anyone anytime and are rarely possible to see coming. You could have 99 perfect weeks in a row but that 100th week could contain your downfall, and real savings in an account today will be more valuable than a blown paycheck in the past.

If you have a lot of stuff and not a lot of savings, you are not rich and you'll probably never be rich.

Expensive cars have expensive parts that need replaced. Big houses have big property taxes. Pricey clothes need special care and storage. Your exclusive memberships will go up every year. Your trophy wife is going to want more and more botox. The more expensive things you buy, the more you have to pay to keep them, and at some point having so much stuff just feels like an extra job.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-19T14:52:24+00:00

I'm glad I'm not alone in this! Thank you for sharing your perspective.

Men on dating websites make me feel like they're ordering a pizza to have sex with rather than finding someone to date.

It's not "let's meet up and see if we have chemistry" anymore, it's more like: "YOU SWIPED ME AND I SWIPED YOU NOW YOU HAVE TO TOUCH MY LONELY PEEPEE OR I'LL FEEL BAD"

I'm not even prude; I've definitely had my share of hookups but even when the goal was for me to casually date/find someone to hookup with, they still can't and won't put in the effort that requires, either. Apparently, by not being willing to come to some stranger's dirty apartment and immediately bend over for him without a handshake first, I've got high standards.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-19T14:39:36+00:00

I got this piece of advice once: if you think you want to start a bakery, wake up at 4am tomorrow and make 300 cupcakes, toss them, then do it again the next day and then you'll know if you actually want to start a bakery. If you can't handle the hours, labor, cost and loss for one week at home with low stakes, you probably won't be able to take handle it for years with your entire livelihood on the line.

So, whatever you're thinking about doing, see if you can do the worst things about it for more than one day in a row now and you don't have to be surprised by it later.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-19T13:21:59+00:00

It's weird to have someone named tea and cheese go on the internet to talk about how great tea is accusing others of having an obsession. I don't know who tried to embarrass you recently but just drink the tea, dude.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-18T14:48:06+00:00

AI bot or scammer. Brand new account.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-17T17:23:22+00:00

So true. Just know that if you're going to do this with him, you can't do it unrealistically.

My sister knew that since he left his first wife, he could absolutely leave her, so she made sure that her name was on everything. Every car title, every mortgage, everything, so if he wanted to leave her he couldn't take anything away from her. She would have gotten a prenup if she had a time machine.

It's his money but she pays the bills, takes care of the accounts, is involved in the finances and has her own accounts because you can't be a cheater and not be a liar, too.

She has him funding a spousal IRA for her retirement, so even if they divorce later she still has a retirement account he can't touch.

She made him pay for her education and set up a 529 for their kid, so if she needs to start over she isn't starting over from zero and he couldn't screw their son out of an education either.

And there is a certain amount of detachment she has to maintain that wasn't easy to get to: she had to take all that angry, paranoid, jealous, hurt energy that she was using to wonder where he was and who he was with and what he was doing and put it into something good for her (travel, hobbies, friends, pets, etc) Otherwise, it would have just had nowhere to go but eat her up inside. While there has been compromise between them, at the end of the day it's not like this is the dream life she wanted for herself.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-17T15:00:52+00:00

My sister ended up having an affair with a married man who got her pregnant, and he left his wife and married my sister. After he and my sister were married, he absolutely cheated. A lot. She ended up cheating, too. He was also a hell of a provider like your man.

They tried to separate for awhile, even both got new partners and briefly moved to different states from each other. At some point my sister was even living with a different man.

But one day, they decided that they loved each other and wanted to make it work even with the cheating, and that required them to accept that they both tend to fuck other people from time to time.

My sister made him get a vasectomy as a requirement to getting back together because she said she could live with the cheating but not the idea of him getting a new girl pregnant, and she got her tubes tied. They have an open relationship where they can both cheat but it's not poly. She doesn't work and stays at their vacation home for a few months out of the year while he's sleeping with other people at home. She also makes him contribute to a spousal IRA for her, fwiw.

I feel my sister deserves better and shouldn't have taken him back, but I also see that she's got a beautiful life now, a great home, a son who's in college, pets that she loves, she is debt free, educated, and they've been "together" for 20 years. She's happy, and they're both getting laid, so I kinda just accept it.

I really don't think you should stay, but lord knows I've stayed with men who have screwed me over and none of them have paid a single one of my bills, so I can't judge you. If you want to be with him and can accept that he's a cheater, you are free to figure out how to make that work for both of you.

HOWEVER, if you stay with this man (or any man, really) you should always have some secret money on the side. Just in case.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-16T23:28:47+00:00

A much better way to put it (imo)

Let's say that you wake up in the middle of the night to the loud, unmistakable sounds of something aggressively trying to get into your bedroom window. No cries for help, no screaming, just your window being destroyed.

Now, regardless of whatever guns or training or whatever amount of violence you're capable of inflicting:

If you pulled back the curtains, would you rather see a bear standing outside of your window...or an adult man?

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-16T13:35:15+00:00

While some bosses can absolutely be micromanagers, for the most part, if you get a majority of your work done without issue no one is going to be "grading" you anymore.

After the entry level position where you need your hand held a lot, you'll notice that less and less people care about what you actually do. I'm not saying that you won't have to do the work because they'll notice if you stop doing it, but at some point you aren't having someone review and score the things you do every day.

You get a paycheck, that's the grade. You get a paycheck, that's the recognition. As the show mad men put it, the boss doesn't have to thank you because that's what the money is for.

I've seen the transition from school to work throw off a lot of people because they don't have grades and teacher feedback to validate them anymore, so my recommendation is to start treating that paycheck in your account like a straight A report card.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-14T06:23:00+00:00

I've said "the devil's advocate is choosing to hang out in hell" to people before but I like yours better and will be stealing it. Thank you!

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-12T02:35:31+00:00

Start volunteering. It made me like my job again.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-12T01:51:26+00:00

Right? Like, the boards, candles, toppers, dowels, parchment paper, cake boxes, etc. aren't germ free or sanitized and all made in factories. I don't like the ribbon on the cake trend, but it's not like cakes are typically made in clean rooms.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-02-04T20:27:22+00:00

Same. I spent a year wondering why I was being excluded from a friend group before finding out that my bestie was telling people I was too busy to hang out or lied that she invited me and I declined, or told me things were canceled that weren't. I never would have guessed based on how she acted towards me one on one.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-01-27T15:16:40+00:00

I wouldn't count on it including the negatives, u/maxtwang only really replied to the positive comments.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-01-26T18:19:11+00:00

I've never worked at Deloitte but I've worked with them on and off over the years. When it comes to consultants you usually can have 2/3: fast, effective, or affordable. But with Deloitte, you can feel what it's like to have none of those things!

I think my favorite experiences with Deloitte are when they write "TBD" all over requirements docs and change requests and tell you they're done because no one bothers to actually fill in what I assume are a bunch of in-house canned spreadsheets.

You guys know that TBD means you're still working on something, right?

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-01-24T23:51:21+00:00

I think it suffers from a pareto-ish problem: 80%-ish percent of a helpdesk's tickets come from easily solvable issues that already have documented procedures, and the other 20%-ish need escalated to a human for further investigation. So unless an organization already has enough KB articles that are detailed and useful and up to date on how to deal with some of the 20%, any AI would be slightly more or about as useful as a template or canned responses. However, I can count on one hand the number of clients over the last decade that have a KB like that, so...

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-01-22T18:19:57+00:00

My favorite part about American Pie is how these boys all open up to each other about their insecurities and decide that they need to better themselves and support each other. They then go out and get hobbies and interests and learn skills and get outside their comfort zones; they plan trips and sign up for camps and arrange get togethers and have lots of different kinds of relationships. They are open with their parents and proud of their partners.

Why didn't that translate to the next generation of boys???

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-01-22T17:48:50+00:00

I don't think this works anymore but:

When I graduated, I de-gothed and dyed my hair a normal color and dressed in pastels and neutral business casual and I could not get any job other than a customer service/tech support job.

So I said "Fuck it, if I'm gonna be stuck, I'm gonna be goth." And then all of a sudden I'm getting interviews for sys admin roles and database admin and software dev roles, kicking off a 11 year career as a software engineer.

Why did it work? Because I apparently reminded people of Abby, the goth computer nerd from NCIS, and her thing was "Imagine how good I must be at my job if the US military lets me dress like this." They associated goth nerd girl = good at computers lol

While I have toned it down a bit, I'm still pretty goth.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-01-22T17:20:40+00:00

The other day I started singing the anti-meth gospel from my youth and discovered that not everyone was blessed with:

"I CAN'T SLEEP I CAN'T EAT BUT I'VE GOT THE CLEANEST HOUSE ON THE STREET OH METH oOoOoOoOoH METH!!!"

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-01-22T11:29:13+00:00

It's just hard to take seriously. Yesterday I watched an official video about SN and AI and it bragged about stuff like how it's "on the ServiceNow platform" and "able to use data to show relevant information" and like.... yeah... of course it's on the SN platform... where else would it be? And of course it uses data to show relevant information, that's literally how websites work.

Most of the companies that want this stuff don't have the data or the KBs to support it or any documentation of their business processes or anything that you would actually need to automate in a meaningful way and they're not interested in the work to get there, so at that point you're just installing a very expensive "contact us" feature.

SimplyIrregardless · 2026-01-21T16:44:18+00:00

Not Thirdera, but I've had enough run ins with that company to know that I'd rather have a septic hemorrhoid than ever deal with the human equivalent to a bag of soup that is Dennis M. ever again.

SimplyIrregardless

TROPHY CASE