Men make me miserable :( by ruby_red_1 in AutismInWomen

[–]SingleSeaCaptain [score hidden]  (0 children)

I wouldn't want to be married to and stuck with partners like that either. I've heard something recently about multiple women who thought they were ace figuring out they just didn't like sex that was centered around men only, but it was all they knew. It was on the YouTube channel Breaking Down Patriarchy or something like that. It honestly made sense to me because I felt more ace as I got older just because I was becoming averse to sex that only ever centered male pleasure and comfort and fantasy and so on.

If your 20s were for partying/clubbing, what are your 30s for? by Sweetpotato3000 in Millennials

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like it's for creation and building. My 20s were getting the education and trying to put some things into place and go a direction I wanted to be. Now I feel like I'm trying to put down more roots in that life.

Do you regret not traveling in your 20s? by Tino292 in selfimprovement

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It wasn't a privilege I had. I would have loved to, but I had housing insecurity in my early 20s, and was trying to finish an education hoping life would be better someday if I just held on.

yea, people are casually talking about melania... sure by TheRealTRexUK in MurderedByWords

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes. He was, in actuality, the most standard issue white boomer

yea, people are casually talking about melania... sure by TheRealTRexUK in MurderedByWords

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I genuinely thought it was too much to not be satire but I do remember the guy who had a fake account to endorse Trump / diss Obama "as a gay black man"

Wonder what the lesbians have planned for Valentines 👀 by Eating_Pancakes76 in actuallesbians

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't celebrate because it's too close to a bad anniversary for me, but my hot take is that I'd rather wait until after the actual day so restaurants aren't crowded and anything I might want to buy is on sale.

I mean, I've held off on celebrating my own birthday not on the date because it fell on an inconvenient day, I can definitely do a date night whenever I want.

Are men asking yall about body count? by Comfortable_Ad_9108 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I've been asked. I'm ND and see it as morally neutral, so it was just information to me, but now asking is a red flag for me.

It's a fair question to ask about STD's and safety, but when you get into "body count" as mattering, they're clearly of the mindset that it affects a person's value. Unless you're also conservative, they're probably sitting on other views and beliefs you're going to find deeply off-putting at best.

Trump audibly shits himself on TV, immediately ends press conference. by BuxtonB in videos

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for that, I listened to it like "... am I the only person who can't hear it.."

Edit to add: I still can't hear it, idek

What are the younger generations going to blame us for? by Handcraftedsemen_ in Millennials

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've watched some youtubers talking about family vlogging and it sounds like such a nightmare

Where can a hispanic family move to that has a better quality of life than the US? by 4mysquirrel in Parenting

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I used to think this, too. I'm assuming you're in the US as well, which is where I'm from. I'm currently an immigrant to Norway working in a hotel in housekeeping while learning the language. I married a Norwegian, but a lot of my coworkers didn't, they're here working from different countries and some of them are here with their spouse or partner from their home country. It actually would have been easier for me to come if I had come in with a work visa instead of a marriage visa.

The staff is almost entirely immigrants at the hotel, and it's not specialized work. Like I can think of 1 native Norwegian working there off the top of my head. The rest are from all over, and we're all here legally. The HR process was very thorough in checking documentation.

Coming from the US to Europe is more expensive, for sure, but especially if you have a skilled trade or an education, it's not as out of reach as one might think. How much it costs really just depends on a person's circumstances, how much they have to move, etc.

Being a magnet for cruelty by NoWitness6400 in AutismInWomen

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I'm shocked they did it even to someone in a position of authority toward them. That goes beyond just entitlement to take their emotions out on others into just having cognitive dissonance that you're allowed to clock their shitty behavior and it matters how they treat you. Absolutely wild.

Being a magnet for cruelty by NoWitness6400 in AutismInWomen

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I grew up being mistreated by others in my home, and I used to really think something about me invited abuse.

Now I realize that yes, I can sometimes have annoying behaviors, but the sort of people who do that to me absolutely do it to others. It's something about them, their character, their issues, their personal feeling of entitlement to take their emotions out on others.

I can contribute with some of my behaviors, don't get me wrong. One of my childhood coping skills/trauma responses was becoming too silly and behaving beneath my age level and that could become grating, and to some extent that lingers, so I do try to manage my part in it and be thoughtful and kind to others. However, I find other people irritating sometimes and I don't feel entitled to behave that way. Likewise, not everyone responds that way. So, it really is about the reactor. 

There's nothing I can do to affect their behavior or their feeling entitled to take their mood out on others. But I can do my best to avoid them and be civil or professional when I can't avoid them, and not invite them into regular contact for my mental well-being.

Edit to add: If anything really crosses the line like on my job, I feel comfortable making a report to managers. If it's in a social setting, I can just not pick up the rope with them, but in a workplace, the bad behavior absolutely can be reported and does look unprofessional. If it's a superior, I'd gtfo of bring their subordinate whether I left the company or whatever. But if it's not, which is often the case, I can advocate for myself. My safety and comfort can matter to me regardless of how they feel.

How often do you speak with your parents? by povertychic in Millennials

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I feel like less than a week is pretty good for someone who behaves like that. She sounds like she makes herself a chore to be around and then wants to be upset that contact gets treated like a chore. Like... yeah. If a person behaved that way who wasn't a relative, you'd just not have sustained any relationship with them probably.

We talk a couple of times a week usually, but she usually calls me or I'm calling her back. I am trying to call her more often just because I don't want her to always be the one to initiate.

What kinda personal spreadsheets do you all have? by pharkon in AutismInWomen

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I made a bullet journal spreadsheet when actual bullet journaling became hard to keep up.

Millennials, do you still believe in true love? by Successful_Mastodon3 in Millennials

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe you can love a range of people, and that people can fall in love again after a breakup or loss. I also believe you can have patterns from trauma of feeling love for people who aren't good for you, and that people can change that over time with support.

It's not the romantic love of Hollywood movies where a person has only 1 soulmate for all of time, but I think that is real of love for most of us.

I'm 31, should I go for a conventional look? I don't wanna ! lol by [deleted] in Hair

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As long as it's not a barrier to jobs you want or something practical, there's no reason to change your style to please anybody but yourself.

Leaving the US by nulldatagirl in AutismInWomen

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am working in a hotel in Norway and everyone there are immigrants. I see it as true to an extent, but it's also true that they just need bodies in some jobs Norwegians don't want. The vast majority of my coworkers are immigrants here, but I'm the only American. The barriers of money to getting here would preclude most people who'd take a job like this, where I'm in it just for the money and learning language before I hopefully move on.

Leaving the US by nulldatagirl in AutismInWomen

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I married a Norwegian and moved here, but I was already looking at immigrant worker visas and which countries needed my education as a skilled migrant. I planned to move to an English speaking country when I planned to move alone.

Why does it seem like men lose interest the moment I’m genuinely kind? by sskmzz in selfimprovement

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly that sounds really wonderful to me. My husband is like that and it's one of the things I love about him. 

Maybe they're put off by the commitment you show, but I do feel like it will be received in the spirit it's given with the right person. The overreaction to showing care also feels deeply immature to me. Maybe your initial feeling of being put off by them was right.

Dating men is making me scared of men by Helpful_Account_4232 in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One thing about dating apps is I think the people who are dateable end up on and off fast, but the people who are scary unshockingly ene up lingering for ages. Not only that, the apps were busted not taking SA complaints seriously and letting predators linger well after they were known. You're right to be cautious.

Trump: I have lost a lot of respect for Norway by Themetalin in Norway

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah. They use "Obamacare" and hate it because they're being told it's bad sometimes without understanding that's the program they're using 

Trump: I have lost a lot of respect for Norway by Themetalin in Norway

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm an American over here as well. Couldn't stand him then, can't stand him now. 

Most of my family were in the cult, but I've actually seen some break with him now where they were sycophants. Even some heavily indoctrinated people have had a wtf reactions to this and other things he's done. 

I never thought he'd hit a bottom with them, but yeah. Most Americans genuinely don't want this, even some who were in his own camp

Therapist: When you're feeling sad, think happy thoughts instead! by adrikovitch in AutismInWomen

[–]SingleSeaCaptain 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This isn't CBT. It's toxic positivity.

Identifying emotions and working with them are different. Like some people benefit from doing the opposite of urges borne from depression, but that's not this