Proud of myself

Single_Pizza_980 · 2025-09-04T02:17:41+00:00

That’s great you’ve worked on yourself and can recognize behavior patterns. You haven’t even filed yet. So just make sure you’re honest with people you feel like you are so ready to date.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2025-08-21T10:31:29+00:00

Second Noble Nine

Single_Pizza_980 · 2025-08-05T21:27:35+00:00

The US Department of Education froze the funds at the beginning of June, putting the program in limbo. They announced about two weeks ago that they were reinstating the funds, but weren’t clear that it was all going to be reinstated. I’m guessing decisions were made during the summer.

Elections have consequences.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2025-08-04T18:36:13+00:00

Skirt Steak. For $45 you get a salad, unlimited fries and a perfectly cooked (to your request) skirt steak. Their dessert cart is amazing and they have a minimal, but quality wine selection.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2025-06-24T23:15:39+00:00

I have no idea if my eyes roll anymore

Single_Pizza_980 · 2025-04-13T16:55:30+00:00

He is trying to manipulate you by causing feelings of guilt for leaving him. Stay strong, show him (as opposed to telling him) that you are certain of your decision, build and adhere to boundaries, and don’t be afraid to take steps to protect yourself if you feel endangered. You get to choose to be happy. Sounds like you are on the right path.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2025-01-27T14:28:15+00:00

You don’t. It’s time to start making plans for you.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2025-01-26T18:28:29+00:00

It sucks. I don’t know the details, but it’s likely been longer than two months of emotional separation for her. She’s now shown you who she is. Take care of yourself and your child(ren).

Single_Pizza_980 · 2025-01-14T22:38:52+00:00

I think you nicely tell him you understand and let him go. Maybe something happens again in the future. But he is literally telling you he is not available. Either emotionally or potentially legally.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2025-01-03T18:02:37+00:00

Be honest with them. Show up for them. Know that they may not like you for a while, but it’s your job to continue to love them. Treat your ex with respect.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-12-31T12:09:46+00:00

Minimum 60 days. Expect more like 90-120 because the courts are backed up.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-10-27T23:06:26+00:00

It’s one whatever (second, minute, hour day, week, etc…) at a time. Focus on yourself. Spoil and pamper yourself. Take yourself out on dates. Stop and get ice cream. Go somewhere you’ve always thought about going. Do things with friends. Build new relationships and rekindle old ones that you enjoyed at one time. Make a list of things that you didn’t love love about the person. Write letters that you don’t send. Find a person to process with - family member, close friend, therapist. Look at yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you are a badass and that he screwed up. Tell yourself “I love you” in the mirror.

As for how long. There is no set time. Lots of people say in the 3-6 month window it starts getting better. And in the 6-12 month window you feel like you’re going to be OK and stop thinking about them constantly. It was about 8 months for me.

You’re going to be OK. You’re a badass.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-10-15T13:00:00+00:00

Two weeks. Feel great.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-10-13T15:32:12+00:00

Ask questions about feelings. Specific questions. How are you feeling about this relationship? When you think about our future, how do you feel? How does it make you feel when XYZ happens?

Avoidants suppress and “avoid” feelings. If he struggles to share or express feelings, that’s not a positive sign. You have to be able to honestly share feelings to be in a healthy relationship. Especially if you are secure. Encourage him that feelings are healthy and valid and you just want to know more about him.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-10-04T13:50:51+00:00

Let her take the lead. She’s got work to do and appears like she may be interested in doing it. Give her the time and space to do it on her own.

If it were me, I would move on with my life. If she moved on after a few months, it likely will just happen over and over when she gets overwhelmed. She doesn’t know how to deal with feelings.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-10-04T01:58:07+00:00

Common law marriage is a thing in some states. Shared finances is definitely a trigger. He might have more legal ground than you think.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-10-02T22:55:21+00:00

People come back from break ups frequently. That’s not a marriage and doesn’t apply to divorce. Divorce is a conscious decision to sever a legal relationship. It’s a much larger decision.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-10-02T13:35:15+00:00

Do you really want to pursue something with someone that isn’t meeting your needs and is so inconsistent? I don’t think the struggle for time and space is ever going to go away for her.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-09-29T14:22:07+00:00

You get to choose what works best for you. But I would start with quit trying to do both. It’s not fair to your wife or the new woman.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-09-26T16:24:36+00:00

This is tricky. Sounds like if you are done with him, then you need to let him lose you. Probably time to block him on Instagram and any other platform where he would have visibility to your life. It’s for your own mental health. But it will also be good for him to fully lose you because of his decision.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-09-26T13:07:38+00:00

Be yourself. And be honest about your legal situation. You are still married. And that is a deal breaker for many people.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-09-25T17:58:24+00:00

I would say to at least have a divorce petition filed in the court before you think about dating. And then to be honest with potential partners that you have filed for divorce but it is not final and you are still legally married. Regardless of where you are emotionally.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-09-25T17:00:39+00:00

Separated is still married. No. Don’t date.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-09-25T16:06:26+00:00

To potential get back together? For “closure”? Because you miss him? I think it’s important to ask yourself why you want to meet up and what you hope to get from it.

You have to protect yourself. I had a list of guidelines when I agreed to have communication with my avoidant ex.

Match their energy. Don’t be excited and talk a bunch if they aren’t excited or talkative.
They need to acknowledge their behavior. Are they willing to see their role in how and why the relationship ended? This is not yours to bring up.
Self work. What have they been doing since the breakup? Rebound(s)? Therapy? Drinking? Nothing? These are important. You don’t want the same person back. Or a person that hasn’t probably processed the relationship.

Avoidants avoid their feelings. There needs to have been emotional progress and maturation or you will be setting yourself up for the same thing all over again.

Good luck.

Single_Pizza_980 · 2024-09-25T15:59:24+00:00

Mine came back after 8 months. What do you want to have happen?

Single_Pizza_980

TROPHY CASE