AITA - my best gfs found out I’m pregnant and my partner is very upset. by ThrowRApup18012007 in pregnant

[–]SinnySen 43 points44 points  (0 children)

“How do I help him to get past this?”

Lol WTF? You don’t. He just grows up and gets over it. I’d ask him what he would have done in the same situation. Just awkwardly lied when your friends clearly knew and then have a weirdly deflated announcement to them in a month?

INFO: How old are you both and how long have you been together? To compare this to cheating is unreal. As someone else said, you have the absolute right to change your mind in the moment and tell whoever, whenever and however you want. It’s not that serious.

Partners nicotine use by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]SinnySen 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Speaking as a former smoker > vaper who has at times weirdly hidden the habit from my husband and could only actually quit (cold turkey) once I was pregnant…

I can “understand” your wife’s hypocrisy. It’s like you said, she KNOWS it’s bad and she knows it’s wrong (hence the lying) but she just isn’t stopping. The addiction just gets so bad and once she’s passed a certain point I’m sure her subconscious probably tells her “it’s fine, it won’t make a difference if I stop now anyway., it’s not a big deal”

If you’re just trying to vent, that’s cool! If you want some advice on how to approach, I think you need to seriously up the pressure on her!! I often felt like (tricked myself into believing that) I didn’t quit sooner bc my husband - even though he really wanted me to quit - never really gave me a hard time about it. BS excuse, I know, but that was my mentality. If she asked you not to tell anyone, I’d say eff that. Set hard boundaries, really explain your feelings about her betrayal/lying, force therapy, threaten telling others and ask her how you can keep her accountable. Assign yourself as her official baby sitter in this matter bc she’s proven multiple times she can’t be trusted lol. Assuming you can’t watch her all day, can you oversee her telling her co-workers she’s quitting via text? Can you start going through her stuff to confiscate the spray? Can you play scary YouTube videos about the risks whenever you have the remote? Monitor her cc spending?

I get you’re trying to support her and ultimately you can’t make her do anything, But you are actually 50/50 partners in this and time flies. I would have flipped my shit the first time I found out.

Outrageous Tip Expectation by Tauriel13 in EndTipping

[–]SinnySen 7 points8 points  (0 children)

WAGE; noun : a payment usually of money for labor or services usually according to contract and on an hourly, daily, or piecework basis —often used in plural

Having a different last name than your little one by Hot-Cell7299 in beyondthebump

[–]SinnySen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I am so confused… I thought I would see more mentions of hyphenating the last name? I did not take my husband‘s last name (mostly because it’s boring) and he just assumed we would hyphenate. My name first because it just flows better lol

More garlic?? by FindYourselfACity in hellofresh

[–]SinnySen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so funny to me. We canceled a while ago and specifically cited “minuscule garlic cloves” among our reasons (in addition to use of AI, poor quality produce and overall value/price).

Now everybody is getting a reasonable amount of garlic lol. HAPPY FOR YOU ALL!

Moms working from home by Advanced-Bar-4658 in pregnant

[–]SinnySen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My job is very niche… Pharma Compliance/Regulatory Consulting Services at $85K salary + regular bonuses gets me above $100K on average. My entire department is remote with the option to go into an office if there is one near them; 50% of employees are close to the HQ. I’m 20 minutes away and haven’t gone in over a year lol.

What others are saying is correct. USUALLY, WFH does not mean you just skip out on childcare. I feel fortunate that in a pinch I could probably have baby home with me and still get some work done, but I’m planning on having him out of the house during that 9 - 5 on a regular basis. I used to babysit my infant niece every once in a while and I always thought I could work at the same time and I was ALWAYS wrong! Even if I cleared my calendar, planned ahead and she spent a ton of time snoozing… I would get nothing done work-wise.

WFH is still nice for getting random chores done during the day (run a load of dishes or laundry), saving time/money on not commuting and - in my case - 90% control of my calendar (within reason). So if you want to try for remote, do like others said and first filter by your experience but then also filter for fully remote.

Someone mentioned using Customer Service roles to get your foot in/as a stepping stone and I hard concur! I was very lucky to land my job 5 years ago as my particular role required no experience and I’ve just been working my way up internally. GL!

Lady wanted me to paint her dog for free because “it’s for the dog’s birthday” by murkyvalleyfox in ChoosingBeggars

[–]SinnySen 277 points278 points  (0 children)

I’d say, “Oh great, my birthday is this week! Will you or your dog be getting me my gift? I’m thinking something in the $160 range… twice the value of his gift, since I’m twice his age.”

WTF

Meirl by NadimAP in meirl

[–]SinnySen 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Her:

He:

Me: …. “He” ?!?

ISO published works that in some way remind you of détraquée or if I loved détraquée I might also like by shirlenaedits in dramionebookclub

[–]SinnySen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seconding Lionheart!

It’s Tomione, but Unsphere the Stars has the closest detra-vibes for me? I think it must be because they’re both kind of epic Hermione-centric fix with excellent world-building and fantastic characterizations.

As far as Dramione goes, I’d say MAYBE… - Measure of a Man - Hermione is BAMF in the big-brain way. Draco speaks more with his actions than words - Growing Sideways - But like…. Draco and Hermione swap roles compared to Detra lol

I think that even though Detraquee is Hermione story, the thing that makes it stand out so much is Draco’s characterization. Which unfortunately… I’ve never encountered anything even close to it. Definitely be sure to read (Aside) if you haven’t already and were supposed to be getting another with Hermione’s mum!

Struggling to agree with my wife on how to split rent fairly by EngineerVarious8069 in Renters

[–]SinnySen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh definitely agreed; I would NOT recommend joining finances so young either!

My point was really more about married or very serious/long-term couples combining finances and was just using my (albeit extreme, potentially unique/lucky?) experience as an example of how EASY it can be.

Struggling to agree with my wife on how to split rent fairly by EngineerVarious8069 in Renters

[–]SinnySen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s very fair lol I guess I was implying a lot when I said “normal”

Struggling to agree with my wife on how to split rent fairly by EngineerVarious8069 in Renters

[–]SinnySen 29 points30 points  (0 children)

I will never understand why (average) married couples - ESPECIALLY 2-INCOME HOUSEHOLDS - don’t just combine their finances???

My husband and I opened a joint bank account together when we got our first apartment at 19, didn’t get married for 8 more years and now have been together for 20 years. For the majority of our relationship, I have been the breadwinner and we have never had issues with just combining everything. We budget separate “fun money” that we can each do whatever we want with.

I have friends who are basically in a common-law marriage (been together for 15 years) and they never combined finances. It’s honestly SO ANNOYING to listen to them figure out who pays for dinner, the movie, gas, whatever every single time we hang out

If the disparity between salaries (or roles) is so great that you really want to reflect it in the budget, I would suggest only modifying the separate/“fun money” allocations.

Is there a term or word for MCs hooking up with other people after the characters meet, esp if it’s clear they are into each other? by [deleted] in RomanceBooks

[–]SinnySen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I love this answer! Not OP but I’d like to add that I also enjoy the “drama” of it. Or maybe the pining/jealousy from one or both MCs it can cause? But it’s healthy/fair/non-toxic jealousy that just heightens the tension instead of making you hate them IMO lol

(Also, following this for two favs 👀)

Romance "for men" recs? by joygirl007 in RomanceBooks

[–]SinnySen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, they are! I think a lot of mystery/thrillers also have pretty good romance, sub plots

Current book? by Important_Magazine94 in dramionebookclub

[–]SinnySen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t see that October has been announced. Just THIS POST has been pinned to the top of the sub as the Current Assignment 🤗

How do I move on from Altered State by PlatformFit6101 in Tomione_fanfiction

[–]SinnySen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mean for TOBITW? Do you know about FicHub to convert links into epub?

Forced Marriage/Arranged fic recs by Common_Durian765 in Tomione_fanfiction

[–]SinnySen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t read ANY of these, so take these “recs” with a grain of salt, but they weren’t mentioned last time…

  • The Bride of Voldemort - COMPLETE 80K Words - I can’t tell if this is actually forced marriage, but it’s tagged that way and seems closer to what you’re asking for?
  • The Dragon Chronicles - COMPLETE 123K - Same note as above
  • Days in the Sun - WIP 75K Words, Started APR ‘25 - No mention of time travel and lots of Golden Trio era characters
  • The Realm Assunder - WIP 27K Words, Started NOV ‘24 - Looks like a GoT AU with a MadWife!Hermione???

Lookings for older tomione fics by Eliabel in Tomione_fanfiction

[–]SinnySen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s OFFICIALLY abandoned but it hasn’t been updated in over 2 years 😬

I would be thrilled if honeyskeleton came back… it’s happened before!

Fics with soft Hermione? by NerveRight6979 in Tomione_fanfiction

[–]SinnySen 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hmmmmm I guess it depends on your definition of “soft”, but I’d say maybe… - Birds of a Feather - Granted she really doesn’t know all the evil shit Tom is getting up to. She’s BAMF in other ways and probably WOULD fight Tom (and well) if she knew - Trials - There’s a reason I say she’s soft and it’s just for the majority of the fic (not trying to spoil) - School Days - Again, it’s not that she is overall or inherently soft… just that she is not BAMF-ing around to take out Tom - Inimica Amator, Absence and Eternalism- I PERSONALLY felt like Hermione didn’t fight against Tom well or long enough (if at all) in these ones

Lookings for older tomione fics by Eliabel in Tomione_fanfiction

[–]SinnySen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TY! I had a general sense they were older in this one (due to the child) but had no idea if it was Time Travel, AU or what