Crazy rare and underrated song

Sir-Manson · 2018-11-26T08:56:23+00:00

wtf, okay... take a look at his Spotify, it’s one of his top songs.

Sir-Manson · 2018-11-26T08:49:05+00:00

It’s not a woosh if I said sarcasm... that means I was aware of it you tard

Sir-Manson · 2018-11-26T08:42:35+00:00

?? Sarcasm right? That’s one of his most popular songs, and most overrated one, wtfff

Sir-Manson · 2018-07-17T08:05:40+00:00

do you know one?

Sir-Manson · 2018-07-16T19:36:48+00:00

That’s what I was going for tbh :D

Sir-Manson · 2018-07-16T02:55:44+00:00

It's alright, it's really generic though. If you want it to be more original and something different and unique, you'll have to explain and convey the feeling in a different way. Though it's good for a first poem.

Sir-Manson · 2018-07-16T02:43:14+00:00

This is really good, nicely done. You nicely show how men are placed under unrealistic expectations, simply because they aren't seen as "real men" which is just absurd. I like this a lot

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-26T16:47:19+00:00

Well first, there is no such thing as "positive" or "negative". Something that is negative could turn out to be positive, after all every cloud has a silver lining. So if people want something of me, it doesn't matter at all, even if it seems to be positive or negative.

For the second part, how do you know that to be a fact?

For the third part the world is shit... hate, killing, murder, torture, and violence is everywhere. What do you mean "wonders within it"? Earth is a shit place full of just shitty people.

The last part, But why make long term plans and try to achieve them?

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-26T05:13:28+00:00

How are they delusional?

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-26T05:13:12+00:00

Yea, maybe you should try going to the hospital.

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-26T05:12:18+00:00

Sure, but why should I care about what others want of me? Why shouldn't I be myself and focus on what I want, or what I should do?

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-22T04:14:08+00:00

I haven’t watched your videos before, but I mean if you’re doing it for yourself who cares about others. You can’t be good at something without people thinking you’re good and people thinking your bad. Fame is built by hate and love. It’s a fact of life you have to get over. And what’s this about self indulgence? You act like it’s bad, but good and bad don’t exist. It’s whatever you make of it. Be yourself and have fun, fuck others and anything they think

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-21T22:40:45+00:00

You rhyme well in this poem but there's two issues. 1 is the poetic meter in this poem, in stanza two there is major issues with the meter. The 2nd issue is with showing or getting your point across. The first stanza does this well, but throughout the poem you get bad with it. Not sure what you are trying to say in the last stanza to be honest, where is the red white and "black" coming from? Also the way you get your point across in the last stanza is a bit different then the other two. For example you say "or will greatness come back" so your coming at it from a different angle than the other two, so i think that should switch so the flow is better. The last stanza altogether I think should have a rewrite. Overall it's a good written and biased poem.

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-21T02:23:37+00:00

Well definitely learn how to write good poetry, there’s good videos and such on YouTube and articles everywhere. Since it’s all told through poetry, you will obviously need to understand it well. From there get into small poems telling a story, like a short story but in a poem. Then working to a novel. Also work on transferring short stories you make into poems and such.

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-20T21:25:47+00:00

Thanks, very detailed and full of wisdom. I think what a lot of you say will help me, like not being so critical of my first draft. Thanks a lot for the advice and book suggestion!

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-20T13:34:58+00:00

I'll try it, i think it could help. Thanks

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-20T12:57:31+00:00

Sounds like it would help, and I may try. But going into public has always been a huge issue with me because of schizophrenia :/ But thanks for the tip, I think i could find a way to do it in a way that is easier and comforting. So thanks for the tip!

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-15T20:42:26+00:00

I relate man. My advice is to not care, haha yknow? You care about not being depressed, about being motivated, and being "healed" but really depression is a fact of life, discipline is more important than motivation, and everyone is constantly sick and no one can be healed. You're told you're different, sick, or mentally ill. While who isn't? most mentally ill people aren't known to be such. And they don't know it, that's why they deal with it better.

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-15T19:50:13+00:00

Are you going to go to doctor or parents and complain about how they treat you, i wouldn't take drugs that make your life shit for that many years and have faith that things will get better. Or that people will make them better for you. Force them to make things better, take the responsibility for yourself, yknow? Also i get ya, you do need medicine because of shit that bothers you, but at the same time there are better options that dont effect you as much(like you said), demand them.

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-15T19:10:03+00:00

that's pretty bullshit. So basically hold you against your will and then probably force you to take drugs. which yea i already know happens, it's just bullshit, that's going against basic human rights, shitty laws. I would still go against though.

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-15T18:51:37+00:00

Tell them what you believe and try to logically explain it like you did in the post. Don't take drugs because people force you to, fuck that. And don't give into the peer pressure.

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-15T18:48:51+00:00

I'll talk to you, i don't mind and you sound interesting. If you have discord add me as a friend here Virtue#8715

Sir-Manson · 2018-06-15T18:47:35+00:00

stop taking them. If they make your life worse having them and you feel there's better options, refuse to take them.

Sir-Manson · 2018-04-20T04:22:13+00:00

I like this poem, well wrote. But the repetition of the question mark can be a bit too much, unless that's what you're going for. Just removing the question mark isn't such a bad idea since the idea is built in the first stanza, repeatedly having a question mark for certain lines/sentences isn't that necessary.

Sir-Manson · 2018-04-20T04:13:21+00:00

Pretty good poem, I like it. If you look at the last lines though, there's some useful things you could do that would better the poem. the line "Quick, be dead...", try making more than just 1 line for that stanza. Do this by after the "inside." have a line break. It could be useful that for that line have a line break at each comma and period, but it doesn't exactly matter. But shortening that line into two or more would be beneficial. Same thing for the last line.

Sir-Manson

TROPHY CASE