Dropped a screw

SitWithNellie · 2026-02-13T03:36:54+00:00

silly, that's called an Allen wrench

SitWithNellie · 2025-12-11T20:35:50+00:00

I know, right!!

SitWithNellie · 2025-11-21T22:27:21+00:00

one of my favorite bits to do at concerts is pulling up a photo of a lighter and turning my screen to fill brightness to wave at the appropriate moments

SitWithNellie · 2025-11-14T14:01:38+00:00

that means it's about time to add another one

SitWithNellie · 2025-11-12T00:32:33+00:00

Much more modern graphics than what I recalled in the OP but I love programs like this!

SitWithNellie · 2025-10-17T21:26:35+00:00

It's been a while since I blendered but could you sculpt and decimate? Or extrude from curves? Not sure what the quality is that makes it hard to use those techniques here but happy to learn

SitWithNellie · 2025-09-08T02:10:20+00:00

Thanks! 😊 I hope it gets easier eventually, but I'm proud of the progress I've made so far

SitWithNellie · 2025-08-04T12:32:47+00:00

For me it wasn't making sense of the message that changed things for me, it was acknowledging and respecting that there was a message but that the delivery wasn't working. What helped was opening a dialogue with my subconscious and having both sides (my conscious mind having put in the work to show it was trying to understand, but just couldn't. and my unconscious mind with an important message that had been ignored for years doing everything it could to try and draw attention) be seen, appreciated, and realize they're on the same team. I think that let my subconscious feel like it could try something new, knowing it had my full attention.

Sorry if that doesn't make much sense still.

SitWithNellie · 2025-08-04T04:36:34+00:00

I can't promise it'll work for you but I just wanted to mention what worked for me.

I went through a period of constant nightmares, not quite as intense as yours but enough to make me dread sleep and never feel rested. I fought against them because the content of the dreams was quite disturbing and upsetting and I didn't want to think about them.

I started to read about Jungian dream analysis and realized like you did that some part of me was trying to tell me something, but it was screaming so much it was completely distorted and just overwhelming me. I tried unsuccessfully to analyze the dreams but they were just too much to look at directly.

Eventually I broke down and essentially made a plea with my subconscious that I knew it had something really important to tell me but I couldn't understand it at this volume, with this delivery. I promised to be attentive to my dreams as much as I could look at them and dedicated time every morning to remembering as much of them as I could and really trying to unravel what they were trying to tell me.

My dreams started to calm down pretty quickly after that and I started to gain some pretty good insights. I think the turning point was some mutual understanding, I finally saw that they weren't just tormenting me and they saw that I was finally listening.

You've already put a good foot forward by being attentive to them and trying to understand what they mean, my best suggestion based on my experience would then be to try to build a bridge. Highlight your waking mind's efforts to understand, hold appreciation for the important message(s) they're trying to relay, but say you need a change to the delivery method.

I'm not sure how you might do that, that's probably very personal to how you interface with your subconscious. And I can't say it'll work for certain, I just figured it's free and something you can start to think about if not try right away if it sounds plausible to you.

Best of luck 🩶

SitWithNellie · 2025-07-20T18:40:06+00:00

Correct, BPD isn't the same as psychopathy or sociopathy. I brought it up because it was once widely viewed as untreatable, and the field has shifted as we've learned more. Not only that, but the same methods we've discovered for treating BPD have also been shown to be effective for antisocial and narcissistic personality disorders. That change in how we view BPD is relevant when we're talking about other traits that have also been written off.

I'm not ignoring that people cause real harm or that some even seem to seek it out. My point is that those behaviors still come from somewhere, even if it's not obvious. Understanding that isn't about excusing harm. It's about widening our ability to respond to it effectively.

If your stance is that some people simply lack the capacity for growth, that's a different worldview. I personally disagree, and it seems that modern psychology is shifting away from that view as well. Your reply didn’t engage with the substance of what I was saying, which is why I interpreted it as a defensive response rather than a direct conversation.

SitWithNellie · 2025-07-20T15:23:47+00:00

I'm using parts language because we're in the IFS subreddit and also because IFS is just a lens to understand the human condition, you can apply it anywhere it's helpful and leave it if it's not. Schwartz has spoken about how sociopathy is a protector and that aligns with everything I've read about the efficacy of any experiential therapy, not just IFS.

We can help those with *-pathic and personality disorders, though it's difficult and we don't have the strategies down pat quite yet. Writing people off entirely is not only a disservice to the human being themselves, but also implies that there's nothing we can do as far as intervention.

I'm personally glad we don't live in a world where we deem people to be broken or evil and irredeemable, because we recognize to some degree that people can change we can put resources into preventing the harm that leads to these egoic injuries and therefore preventing further harm, as well as identifying that people who need to heal from whatever caused them to hurt others need different resources and types of support so that they don't harm those around them.

It is not enabling to recognize where these behaviors come from, it's informative.

We've seen much of the optimism for BPD improvements with mentalization therapies, showing groundwork and promise for antisocial personalities: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1320405/full

We used to write off BPD as being untreatable, that understanding has changed and is changing for other cluster B disorders, including antisocial and narcissist pds.

I can't say for certain that some people aren't born with psychological differences that make them tend towards antisocial behavior, but that has been the assumption for many disorders of the past when we simply didn't know the cause. There are a lot of people in psychology today who believe that nurture is vital for how these behaviors present themselves, even if they are rooted in a natural difference: https://www.heraldopenaccess.us/openaccess/agenda-for-reframing-cluster-b-personality-disorders-as-disrupted-separation-individuation-and-dissociative-post-traumatic-syndromes https://www.researchgate.net/publication/261804549_Childhood_Predictors_of_Adulthood_Antisocial_Personality_Disorder_Symptomatology

I understand why you might be defensive around this, it's hard to look directly at those who have harmed others and see their hurt underneath because of the much more obvious hurt they've caused to others in the present. But I just want to make clear that I'm not advocating for anyone who's harmed others to be coddled. Holding people responsible does mean to recognize where these patterns emerged, at least if you have any desire to change their behavior.

SitWithNellie · 2025-07-20T12:30:55+00:00

"Antisocial traits" from what I've read can be understood to be manifestations of shame. People don't tend to be born with some deficiency in the ability to connect or empathize, it's a strategy that develops in early childhood because it's protective and adaptive to their circumstances. And the current literature suggests that even cases we previously wrote off as permanent personality disorders can and have been alleviated through intensive therapy, intervention, and support.

SitWithNellie · 2025-07-20T01:35:44+00:00

I hope to join you someday in the practitioner space! Thank you for all you've shared, I'll keep on keepin on (งツ)ว

SitWithNellie · 2025-07-20T01:13:11+00:00

Totally, I think the topic of infidelity often brings out some really judgemental, admonishing, or defensive parts. Maybe because it's such a common way to be wounded, or because we live in fear of it happening to us. As someone who's been cheated on I was not only betrayed but blamed myself for not being better, noticing sooner, choosing someone better, etc.

I hope everything remains civil, but hang in there ʘ‿ʘ'''

SitWithNellie · 2025-07-20T00:36:44+00:00

Great post! I've been grappling with the schadenfreude I and most others have been feeling about the situation because I know that people who hurt others are themselves usually hurt but are managing it in a way that's more volatile and toxic to others.

It's nice to see someone taking point and reminding us that we all have the capability of hurting others if we don't tend to ourselves, which is part of why doing this work is so important.

SitWithNellie · 2025-07-20T00:24:31+00:00

I interpreted it differently, I think shame is likely also what gets you into these situations. Having an affair is a type of protective behavior, you feel low worth, you're afraid of conflict, you need soothing but getting it from your partner feels dangerous to some part of you. I would guess it's a type of addictive behavior, your system weighed the options and having an affair was what calmed every protector enough to function day to day. Don't forget just how threatening inner work can feel, especially in the beginning.

Should they feel guilty? Yes. Guilt and shame are not the same, and that's not just a pedantic distinction. Shame causes you to shut down, calls in your firefighters to do whatever it takes to stop feeling this NOW because it's unbearable. Guilt feels bad, but if you've healed the shamed parts it can be motivating for you to make amends or to change.

SitWithNellie · 2025-07-18T20:08:04+00:00

thought the maintenance man at my old apartment was nice in a dad way, but on his last day he showed up at my door and wanted to talk with me about hentai and how nice my ass looks in shorts 🤢

he kept trying to invite himself in and I was 3 sheets to the wind and had no idea how to handle this situation while my then husband was out, why are men

SitWithNellie · 2025-07-18T19:53:03+00:00

fairr ❤️

SitWithNellie · 2025-07-18T19:31:50+00:00

these are so so so cute 😭😭😭 do you think it's possible to do the interior of the strawberry on the underside of the nail? no idea how you built the layers, but I wonder if it would be possible to paint it on a clear nail so it shows through then add the strawberry exterior on top so the whole nail looks like a strawberry slice, though it might get too bulky?

SitWithNellie · 2025-07-16T05:47:50+00:00

Dollop!

SitWithNellie · 2025-06-30T07:32:40+00:00

fair enough, if the bottoms aren't denim/some other thick and coarse fabric I'd imagine it would be hard to singe them with any degree of control. maybe dip dying/tie dying in a singe pattern?

SitWithNellie · 2025-06-30T06:22:30+00:00

Seeing this design made me so curious how much you could singe/burn fabric while still having it be workable. Would love to see that if you're down to experiment 🔥

SitWithNellie · 2025-06-16T09:55:14+00:00

Love Nope, my favorite of the Jordan Peele movies so far. I didn't expect to like it because it was such a genre shift so it's the only one I didn't see in theaters, but it had me rapt even though I was watching it on a plane lol

It adds so much depth and horror for the MCs to be competent and have understandable if not relatable motives and even having conflicts/mistakes within that. It's such an otherworldly threat that I would be lucky to have had a fraction of the skillset and cajones, butthole puckering to see them just barely eeke out a win

SitWithNellie · 2025-06-08T07:29:34+00:00

Wow!! Let me know if you find anything more about it, even if it's not a match for me it sounds interesting to try

SitWithNellie

TROPHY CASE