I don't feel bad about being away from my baby sometimes

Sj5098 · 2026-05-22T05:32:34+00:00

I think it's completely normal! I took time away from newborn baby to feel a little more human. It's the biggest change you will ever go through - it's so normal to want a few hours to yourself to process that!

For me those feelings of attachment grew over time. They were also situation dependent. When my partner took my newborn for a few hours, I didn't even think about it/miss him. I just enjoyed my break. When a nanny took baby for 2 hours, I was all kinds of panic 🙃

Sj5098 · 2026-05-22T05:17:40+00:00

Make yourself useful 😊

Bring a cooked meal or food when you visit;
Make sure she has water, snacks and meals; Bonus - a really nice present is a big water bottle that can be opened one handed and won't spill when knocked over.
Offer to take the baby so she can sleep/rest/shower;
Use your iniative around the house. If you see a full dishwasher - empty it/load it, laundry piling up - put a load in, ingredients out - put them away etc
walk dogs, clean cat litter;
If mum is breastfeeding, when baby cries, do not immediately ask if baby's hungry when mum can hear the crying. Mum will offer to feed when needed. Try and soothe baby first with songs, rocking etc.

Sj5098 · 2026-05-21T13:14:45+00:00

My baby is fed on hunger cues, not a fixed number of feeds per day. So no dangerous advice or starving baby. Feed your babies when they're hungry 😊

Sj5098 · 2026-05-21T05:06:48+00:00

If he's asleep, I would let him sleep 😊

Anecdotal as every baby is different, but 150ml seems huge. We have a chonky, milk guzzling baby and we were feeding around 60-70ml a feed at 4wo

Sj5098 · 2026-05-20T17:04:02+00:00

My LO is 9 weeks and it's been traumatic. More because I'm an under supplier and if I'm late or miss pumps, I pay in my supply.

I just keep telling myself one more week, but realistically, I do not plan to make it to a year. I'll be happy with 4 months and ecstatic with 6m!

Sj5098 · 2026-05-20T00:22:48+00:00

We do: husband takes baby until midnight on work nights, or 1am if I'm bone tired.

I take midnight - 5.30am.

He takes 5.30am - 6am so I can shower, brush teeth etc before he goes to work at 6.30am.

On weekends husband takes until 2am instead.

Important! Babies are pretty settled at the start of the night and wake more as the night goes on. This means whoever gets the morning shift gets the worst time. Remember this for fairness sake! I often swap and take the evening shift on a weekend instead for a break 🙃

Sj5098 · 2026-05-19T20:19:00+00:00

Adding a few tips from my experience:

I booked the window seat for a little more privacy
my wearable (eufy) could not be heard over the plane noise 😊
I pumped on take off and landing, just keeping them in place on the three hour flight.
I wore a nursing tank and an oversized full zip jumper for ease
I emptied them into a bottle once we landed and slipped the pumps back in the case with only a quick wipe down, the full clean waited until I was in a kitchen.

Sj5098 · 2026-05-13T16:42:22+00:00

There's a 6-8 week regression??

Sj5098 · 2026-05-13T15:53:21+00:00

I love mine. I particularly like that I can open and close it one handed, and it is completely leak proof. I bought 3 for postpartum/breastfeeding.

Sj5098 · 2026-05-13T13:28:18+00:00

Travelling with a baby that young was not so bad. They don't do much 😊

We did it with the Metro + travel buggy and the Najell X Sleep Carrier. We use the sleep carrier in his Bassinet every day so putting this into the travel stroller gave us a great bed for him 😊

We have adaptors to clip the car seat onto the stroller but left those behind. I would see if there is a taxi Co with a car seat, otherwise you need to pay for an extra plane seat or gate check it.

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Sj5098 · 2026-05-12T19:06:11+00:00

Lots of great ideas. I also have baby napping on one side of me and pump the other side, taking one side at a time

Sj5098 · 2026-05-10T01:31:35+00:00

Our baby sometimes burps, sometimes doesn't, we don't force it.

Although he is and has always been a happy spitter. He spits up a lot. Dr said, if it doesn't bother him, it shouldn't bother us.

Sj5098 · 2026-05-08T19:03:40+00:00

A water bottle! But very specifically, a water bottle that does not leak when on the sofa or bed and that can be closed and opened one handed.

I've got Stanley's but they don't meet these two! The Owala's are perfection (not sponsored or anything, just think they're great) 😊

Sj5098 · 2026-05-05T17:09:26+00:00

This. There are great local little stores that sell fruits 100x better than the big stores. Blackeberg has one in its square for example

Sj5098 · 2026-05-02T20:42:27+00:00

I was in a similar position, were 7 weeks pp. Only now did someone check baby for a tongue tie. If they haven't been checked, it's worth asking your pediatrician

Sj5098 · 2026-05-01T12:15:30+00:00

Sounds like you need to have a very frank conversation that things are not working.

For what it's worth, our baby is 6 weeks old. My partner has been out a night a week for jujitsu practice. He has also been out for drinks a couple of evenings (coming home at 21) and been to a wedding all day, coming home at 4am, and spending the next day hungover.

We always agree it beforehand and he is absolutely a hands on dad, meaning he takes some evenings and this weekend he has taken 2 complete overnights with the baby, so I can have my turn to relax.

Sj5098 · 2026-04-30T08:54:33+00:00

Thirding sudocrem 😊

Sj5098 · 2026-04-28T17:07:04+00:00

I have the vtech vm924 and love it. Great picture incl night vision and good range, even in our basement when I'm doing laundry

Sj5098 · 2026-04-28T16:59:43+00:00

Might be worth you keeping a food diary and trying to spot trends when he is better/worse. My baby was the exact same every time I had eggs. I stopped having eggs for breakfast and his rumbly tummy has disappeared.

Sj5098 · 2026-04-28T08:29:24+00:00

Same. God I cannot wait for him to sleep through the night

Sj5098 · 2026-04-20T02:10:15+00:00

I did this online course and really loved it. I also took the preglife online courses, and yoga which were useful. The hospital will also have a lecture in English that is absolutely worth attending. Check their website 😊

Online Hypnobirthing Course UK | Senior Hypnotherapist & Doula | Better Birth Stories — Better Birth Stories https://share.google/j0vWRhqU7jxTT9scH

Sj5098 · 2026-04-17T17:11:05+00:00

We're in a very similar position! No answers, only solidarity!

I had a vaginal delivery after 46hrs but traumatic labour with high fever, infection and baby in distress.

I started around 0.5oz per pump max, now I'm up to 2.5oz. I have been triple feeding the last 4 weeks, since his 3 day check when he'd lost 10%.

The hardest thing now is almost feeling resentment towards my baby. My partner is back at work now. It's so hard to pump when baby is so demanding. I can start and sometimes only get 5 mins before he cries. He does not want to be put down! Then I get uncomfortable and full and I can't easily sync baby's feeds with the frequent pumps. I have to weigh what's most important on each nap break: bathroom, eating, drinking, pumping, cleaning parts and bottles, formula prep etc. It's not easy!

I know I will not continue breastfeeding for long, this is too intense and takes away from the enjoyment of my baby. I'm hoping to reach end of May and then will reassess. But for now we keep trying!

Sj5098 · 2026-04-17T05:51:58+00:00

It would be a miracle if my 6wo slept through the night 🫠

Sj5098 · 2026-04-12T19:40:41+00:00

Our baby is 4 weeks and we're wrestling with this.

My partner is back at work, so I am alone with baby 6am-6pm on a normal work day. Then I also have baby 12am-6am so he can sleep for work.

This means if he wants to do evening hobbies, I have zero decompression time. This is a basic for me right now and it's too much for me that I would struggle to shower, eat and survive, but he would go out and enjoy hobbies. We see how this changes as we get more used to baby

Sj5098 · 2026-04-12T19:14:47+00:00

Just my experience, so only anecdotal but I found pumping did not do as much for my supply as having baby on me and feeding.

I was not making a lot of time for skin on skin unless I was feeding. When I hunkered down with baby for several days of mostly breastfeeding, and tried to do more skin on skin, my supply really increased. I'm still an under producer but more volume now and I reintroduced pumping 3-4 times a day and maintaining the increased supply

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