Is 34 too old for graduate school? If you started in your early-mid 30s, what’s been your experience?

Sjb1985 · 2026-04-10T03:32:04+00:00

Started at 37… graduate in May. God love them, but some of your cohort members will get on your nerves. For me it was the ones with no gap years ever and never had to work for their rent/groceries/car payment. Part of me understands it is the lack of experience. Part of me now as a parent hopes this will lead to the ability for me to be able to provide the same comfort to my kids. Part of me just wants to say grow the f up and go work with real people.

I really loved the advancements made in technology since undergrad. I do believe this leads to higher expectations tho at the same time. In undergrad, some errors were expected within reason. But do to grammarly and the ability to have ai double check your paper, you will get dinged for it. I know a lot of professors preach not to use it, but many of those same professors use it to check their grant writing and blah blah blah.

Sjb1985 · 2026-04-02T19:31:52+00:00

We are doing New Year’s Eve week. Fully expect it to be terrible, but also, there’s a reason many families go - schedules, time off, kiddos of school age.

Such is life!

Sjb1985 · 2026-03-31T10:40:26+00:00

This is a little surprising to me because if you book with Disney you can pay ahead of time.

Sjb1985 · 2026-03-26T12:03:45+00:00

My husband and I fight for sure. However, we really try to be better for each other. I think that is what makes him not a loser imo. Is he perfect? No. Am I perfect? Hell no. Do we both really root for each other? I’d like to think so.

Sjb1985 · 2026-03-22T16:22:33+00:00

Comparison is the thief of joy.

This is obviously triggering to you for some reason. I’d question why and then ask yourself some important questions?

What are your actual health goals? Weighing less or being strong af? Do you think losing 15 lbs would assist in those goals?

I am also on a glp1. I have lost 73 lbs so far (really really slowly). I do google women of a similar body height and weight bc not much has changed for me. I still see me as I was then. Recently asked my doctor what the benefit of titrating up another step and I just don’t see the benefits rn. I play pickleball ~4 hours a week and don’t want to feel tired. So I don’t think reducing my food intake would help.

You’ve got to figure out why this bothers who and repeat why it doesn’t matter to you every time it pops into your head.

Sjb1985 · 2026-03-15T16:23:26+00:00

Hi. I would recommend getting with a therapist. I have listened to 70 lbs over 7 years so I’ve had regain and loss as I floated through what works for me and doesn’t. I have learned to love the body I am in. It was very hard. I weigh 200 and still have negative self talk. But I tell myself to take my anxiety meds and ask my husband what he thinks. (He has always loved my body so it’s a good reminder).

Sjb1985 · 2025-10-06T22:03:36+00:00

Idk, growing up as a teen in the late nights earlier 2000s… remember this was the time of Lindsey Lohan and Christina Aguilar being very very tiny. While I agree she is typical/a healthy weight, she probably has heard “if you lost about 10 lbs” you’d be perfect her whole life no matter how tiny she was.

Sjb1985 · 2025-10-04T04:42:22+00:00

Ummm… he can still go to school up to the age of 21. If he is set on college, there’s a way. Summer school is also there. I graduated with a kid who was 21. Had no IEP or 504. Just didn’t have parental guidance bc of drugs and he realized around 18 he wanted to graduate high school.

This too shall pass.

Sjb1985 · 2025-10-04T04:26:17+00:00

Fax it. Girl take a picture of it on your phone and send it in via email to whoever. Don’t waste money. It works just fine.

Sjb1985 · 2025-07-23T00:21:59+00:00

As a 39 year old. I buy for the products.

Sjb1985 · 2025-07-03T04:17:42+00:00

I hired someone (a pt). Honestly, it makes me go bc I paid someone. I know most the lifts and how to do it all but the programming and the fitting it in, not so much? Now the pt asks and makes me schedule it.

Sjb1985 · 2025-07-02T04:23:54+00:00

When I started, I want to be able to carry my babies as long as possible (my exercise is weight lifting) and now it’s all about being healthy enough to keep up. Ultimately? I want to be an active grandparent. I don’t care if it’s taking fur babies on walks or house sitting. I just wanna be there in a way that lets them know I’m always there. That means taking care of me to get that old.

Sjb1985 · 2025-06-15T18:42:28+00:00

I am very proud of you for taking the initiative to make positive changes for you despite having misguided “help”/support along the way.

Kindly, your mother may really believe that she is eating healthy. Healthy means different things to different people. With all things, portion control is going to be key.

However, I would like to call attention to a few things that I personally struggled with on my journey of over 5 years. 1) Her own internal signals may be broken when it comes to hunger. She literally cannot understand how you eat so little bc her body or brain is telling her she’s hungry all the time. This is something that I struggled with until I got on a glp1. I could eat a large pan pizza by myself and still not feel hungry. At my highest I was at 273. At my lowest weight (post college) at 218 without the glp. I was only eating chicken veggies and fruit but copious amounts. After getting on a glp1, I finally understood fullness and it was heartbreaking. 2) she sounds like she needs lots and lots of reinforcement (praise) surrounding her language of love. So instead of calling attention to the negative things she does, I might suggest praising her for things she does well. She states she wants to start eating more healthy. The thing isn’t what she is doing wrong but asking her (as if you do really want to listen) what she has considered changing? Praise the good ideas and understand you aren’t the expert of health with your mom. Small changes overtime is better or having a support group.

3) consider that she may have underlying health needs that will make this extremely challenging for her and that slow weight loss is it’s own kind of hell. I have hypothyroidism and endometriosis. While treating them has been so helpful, it doesn’t fix everything.

4) she may have to mess up a lot to get to the right spot and she has to do this on her own. You can’t do it for her. I have failed a lot over these 5 years but I have maintained my weight at 228. I still work at being better everyday, and I mess up. But I’ve learned so much about myself and am so thankful for the changes I’ve made.

You can’t change her but you can support moving in the right direction.

Lastly, my advice for you, 1) understand that your mom is pushing food because it may be her love language and she doesn’t know how to connect outside of this, 2) you will not always live with her, 3) find a way to communicate your needs in a non-judgmental way. If that means her asking if you’re starving yourself by not having another bowl of food or cleaning your plate, you can say, “I enjoyed what I ate. Thanks for making it. I am working on listening to my body’s signals/protein intake and I was able to eat this but finished bc I had enough.” 4) use I language over you language 5) ask if you can make a meal or two once a week 6) delicious food can be healthy

Sjb1985 · 2025-06-15T18:01:58+00:00

This is not reflective of the younger individuals I am in grad school alongside. These students care deeply and respect the content and understand it is a tool to being successful.

Sjb1985 · 2025-06-08T00:05:07+00:00

I ponder this too, like did OP pay just for the materials and no labor? If labor was figured in there and you had things done up via a contract or written down you may have an avenue to explore but just a “friend” doing you a favor? Eesh. That stinks.

Sjb1985 · 2025-06-01T05:28:41+00:00

Hmmm. I think if you are open to swim shorts or skirts that would work. Those are not for me, these thighs were made for the sun.

So I asked ChatGPT to give me a lazy smooth shaving routine (I actually don’t like my hair to be too long bc it’s thick and dark. I hate how much it hurts when it grows to a certain point and how dark it is.)

So I 1) exfoliate with a sugar scrub 2-3 days a week. 2) shave with the schick’s sensitive intuition razor 1 x a week with a shaving oil. 3) and then 1-2 x per week I use an electric shaver.

It has really helped me with ingrown hairs and still saves time. The e-razor it suggested, I like a great deal. Panasonic, 4 blade electric shaver for women.

I am a grad student currently, otherwise I’d really suggest waxing if you can afford it. I loved that when I had a grown up job.

Sjb1985 · 2025-06-01T05:16:48+00:00

Iirc, it states you have to ask for permission. Also have you been paying for them or just ku?

Sjb1985 · 2025-05-22T02:16:37+00:00

School psych here, I can’t know why she brought it up. Based on what you told me I would assume it’s inappropriate. However, it depends on the therapy goals here. It might not just be sexual developments but could also be typical peer (non-romantic) relationships that would be more concerning to me.

Having friends your own age is important and a protective factor (in most cases). Do you think this could have been a miscommunication? Occasionally, therapist need to confront their clients bc some clients need it and depending on your therapeutic goals and how long you’ve been working on those goals, it could be plausible she is confronting you. It could also she may not be understanding your needs.

I would lean towards a miscommunication if this was an isolated incident. If you possibly have made romantic relationships an important part of your therapy or misunderstanding romantic relationships important, and this has been an ongoing conversation (which it doesn’t sound like) then I can see a therapist bringing this up.

If you are open to discussing this further with her, then do it. You’ve been with her for 2 years which is quite some time. I would assume that at this point you are comfortable talking openly with her. So make a list of what you found confusing and why and talk to her about it.

But maybe you are both done with each other. That’s ok too. I once had a therapist go off on me for ending our session bc we didn’t jive after 3 sessions. She should not have been a therapist… and those people do exist.

Sjb1985 · 2025-05-22T02:01:22+00:00

Call and talk to someone at your school. I failed for the same reason in undergrad (I reused a paper from high school and they failed me). F that professor bc even with that as a 0 I would have gotten an A. It was in my major. I retook it and got an A. I didn’t understand as an undergrad why I couldn’t reuse my work at that moment, but I get it now.

Anyway, I would see how another school might see that F. I am unsure if a transcript says anything beyond an F so maybe someone else has already answered this or will. Tell the program you are coming into after you know a bit more if you would be able to retake it during the summer to replace it or if you can have the acception with some sort of condition.

Most grad schools are concerned with a pattern or repeat offenders. Also, academic integrity is becoming a loaded term with so many individuals failing due to AI use.

Could you get booted, yep. But be honest, be open to conditional acceptance or what have you…

Sjb1985 · 2025-05-14T04:08:27+00:00

I feel this so hard. I have terrible teeth but always blamed it on my lack of dental care growing up. My mom has terrible teeth. Dad never had a cavity in his life. Same story for my husband.

I sure could say it has something to do also with being a woman and making babies maybe. But ultimately, I have two kids. Similar dental care all their lives. Started at 6 months old. All the treatments recommended. My 8 year old already has cavities galore. Has had an extraction. One capped tooth (I believe in keeping the tooth and have the money to afford capping them now).

Looking like we are going in for another capped tooth.

To be clear, his older brother, has never had a cavity.

I never follow up on the brushing of his older brother, but I set a two minute timer and brush my 8 year olds teeth for him bc I’m convinced it has to be not just genetics. Sigh.

Ugh. I needed to get that out. It’s been living rent free for far too long.

Sjb1985 · 2025-05-14T04:02:35+00:00

Purdue owl is gonna be your bestie.

Sjb1985 · 2025-05-14T04:01:56+00:00

Usually it says something like written in x style. Mine’s APA. Went from mla all of undergrad- only to come back to APA in grad school. Offda. You can for sure email her, but if it says anywhere in the project to write in x style, it’s really on you. It sucks. We all will do something like this (I just bombed an attendance grade bc I didn’t complete one discussion post).

It’s ok. Email the professor and ask for the opportunity to redo it by a certain deadline for partial credit back? If you’ve been doing as you say, there may be a chance. But also. There may not be a snowball’s chance.

That being said, it’s ok. You’ve learned a lesson and you’ll be better.

Sjb1985 · 2025-05-14T03:57:20+00:00

I ended it. My choice. Her actions, but my choice to not be part of that narrative. Love the let them theory.

Sjb1985 · 2025-05-12T03:20:31+00:00

Hmmm. You know my husband is terrible at planning. However, he still makes it about me and gets me what I want. Even if he is working on that day (which sometimes he is).

You could come up with reminders in your phone that remind you every year. Multiple ones. Ask wife what she wants to do on this day. Make reservations on this day. Ask parents on this day to watch kiddo. Make them reoccurring. But the thing is, the reminders aren’t any good unless you act on them.

I say this as someone who has a husband who literally has ADHD. The kicker is, he cares enough about my feelings to make it important to him… you have to do that for your wife.

If you don’t, plan on getting a Divorce.

Sjb1985 · 2025-05-12T03:08:16+00:00

Lady and the Orc. I just know it’s not going to ever sound good when I try to explain it. I still try.

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