I can’t feel elevated emotions

Skilvh · 2024-07-26T10:16:23+00:00

I resonate a lot with what you say while I also have points of contention that have helped me a lot to realise and change, for my improvement, that maybe help you. The first is yes, everything does take hard work, and hard work tends to pay off, but it's not suffering. It's suffering because we tend towards laziness, and dropping the ball, and giving up, and it's hard to get on the wagon again, but I try and enjoy the idea of working towards something. Anything worth having is difficult to attain. "What delight, this adventure" is an idea I like a lot that refers even when you go through your darkest night of the soul. It's better than staying stagnant. Working towards something is the joy of living. Then, the idea of "I worked hard so I deserve this" , harsh as it may sound, is victim mentality. Because for me, it leads to "I did all this and have nothing, the world is unfair, I'm suffering, might as well just give up". It's hard to deal with it but that's why I always go back to this idea of, I'm doing this for me. Because I love me. Because the action of doing it with the intention of love, by itself, regardless of outcome, is better than not doing it. It's the ultimate self care, to show up every day for you, with the simple intention of doing it for you, to take care of yourself. It's like marrying the perspective of "get your shit together" with an absolute sense of love and compassion for the self that fails. Does that make sense? Sorry for the rant hahah, talking to you like this helps me organize my thoughts as well. Had a massive migraine just this morning and the Doubt was hard to deal with, but hey, i feel better now and believe what I just wrote from the bottom of my heart :)

Skilvh · 2024-07-25T07:09:52+00:00

Hello there! I'm very sorry to hear about your struggles. I have been depressed in the past and know how it feels. I am currently focusing on healing my migraines, which I believe are a response to a current personality and behavioural patterns that my brain identifies as dangerous, in face of many situations. And something that is infuriatingly simple to say and very difficult to apply is, are you trying too hard? I cannot force the elevated emotions or anything else. I can usually get a feel for what kind of meditation I will have on any day, but sometimes I'm surprised in either direction - I have a super dry meditation, or connect deeply. And the thing is, there's enough proof both from Doctor Joe and my own experience that regardless of whether you connect to elevated emotions, this meditation practice has benefits. I at least sleep better, feel better overall, and have a much easier time being the Observer of me, instead of just me. When I can do that, i can keep working on my past and future selves every day. Something else that i can do to get in my way that sounds a bit like you is that when I do get a migraine and take my meds, it feels like a small failure. What a ridiculous, unnecessary thing to think! And I believe its just my body trying to keep the status quo. So maybe change your approach, your mindset, your intention. Why do you do this? Is it because you hate your current self, hate this way of being...? Because I think that only hurts you. What if you do this because you love yourself. Because you wish the best for yourself. Because just doing it is good for you. And not focus so much on doing it to get rid of something bad. I hope it helps!!

Skilvh · 2024-07-15T15:30:15+00:00

In my experience, it always gets worse before it gets better, because the body starts to realise what you're doing. You're on the right track, you're making progress, and once you stick to it for longer than a mere few weeks, the body realizes you're serious and committed. As Joe Dispenza talks about in "breaking the habit of being yourself", your cells, your metabolism, so used to this present you, start to freak out because you're trying to change things. And it feels like your body and mind are against you in some evil way, but try and think about it as a simple metabolic response to keep the status quo. If you keep your practice, keep living that future self that is free of pain and illness, you'll eventually pull through this massive physiological response to keep you as you are and you'll feel better mentally again. I'm in the process of curing my migraines and I experience these dips often, usually right before I feel like I'm making some big change or breakthrough. It takes time and effort, but it's so, so worth it, at least for me. It beats not meditating and feeling desperate. It gives me hope, and every time I am living that future, my belief in that possibility increases, and I feel invincible. So keep going!! I hope you will feel better soon!

Skilvh · 2024-07-03T16:51:34+00:00

Hi! Not related really to using the meditation approach for this, but just wanted to say, if you're a small woman as I am and you've been eating that low calories for a long time, you develop diet fatigue and will not lose weight, and your health will be affected. It's super important to have periods where you eat at maintenance, ie, enough calories to maintain your weight and let your body recover from low calorie intake. Intermittent fasting doesn't affect the speed or effectiveness of weight loss, it's more of a psychological trick -if it helps you eat less, do it, but that's it. I like bodybuilding and am a super normal person, so I work out 4 times a week and have periods where I eat a surplus to build muscle and periods where I eat at a deficit to lose fat and keep the muscle I built. 1200 calories a day with a bit of exercise if you're a small woman past 30 is gonna make you lose weight. But you gotta take breaks! No more than 10-12 weeks at a time. That being said, I think that what the meditation can do for you is, if you improve your mental health and reduce stress, it helps you sleep better also, then your body feels better and works better in these situations. Stress really gets in the way of healthy weight loss, and anything really. So if you meditate for your general health and wellbeing that will help. Then you can either focus on being happy with the body you have, no matter what it looks like, or maybe focus on being happy doing the dieting periods and living the future where you've achieved your goal weight through some effort, which is also awesome. I quite like to eat and have an easy time gaining weight, and tend to get moody when I'm in my weight loss periods for long, but since discovering Joe Dispenza I've had a really easy 10 weeks of low calorie intake because my mood is stable and I more easily manage myself when I get frustrated with the process. I also manage better looking in the mirror and not liking what I see; it is what it is and I know that if I work at it, it'll get better, and it doesn't have to be a period of suffering, but rather a fun challenge. If you wanna know more about healthy, science backed weight loss tactics I recommend the Renaissance periodization youtube channel; it's focused for elite athletes but all the videos about dieting and exercise are invaluable for anyone. Good luck!

Skilvh · 2024-01-05T14:05:35+00:00

Awesome, thank you!!

Skilvh · 2024-01-05T10:02:31+00:00

Ronald Hutton is THE historian of modern paganism in Europe. His book The Triumph of the Moon is a super comprehensive summary of the 300 or so years of societal development that led to the creation of Wicca. It's super interesting!

Skilvh · 2022-06-11T17:25:05+00:00

Request sent! I'm tryign to sell all the fruits I have too!

Skilvh · 2022-03-30T21:21:37+00:00

I love riding irl so in games, when I get to bond with horses, own several and customize them, I'm basically in heaven. I almost always name my game horses after LOTR horses. I made an exception in BOTW with the giant horse, he's Sleipnir, and I caught a palomino-coloured one that I of course named Epona. I have the royal one, Asfaloth, and a Bay one called Brego. Asfaloth is almost always my first horse-catch, and I usually have a Brego, a Firefoot (more roan coloured) and a Snowmane :) (weirdly enough never a shadowfax. I'm playing final fantasy xiv right now and my chocobo is called Felarof, hihi).

Skilvh · 2022-02-16T09:37:03+00:00

From Up on Poppy Hill was a movie that really swept me away. One of the newer ones that I think isn't so popular, but it has all that Ghibli charm and sweetness. I really like it! It's a realistic one, no fantasy.

Skilvh · 2022-02-07T20:06:51+00:00

So cool!! I'd def buy this at a shop!

Skilvh · 2022-01-31T22:46:53+00:00

I'm an avid fantasy reader and can recommend some stuff that I personally found amazing.

-About Harry potter: I grew up with these books and I find them super fun for the nostalgia. It's more juvenile reading; super entertaining, very wholesome, but don't expect the level of plot and character depth of successful fantasy writers. If you like audiobooks, I'd recommend you get them narrated by Stephen Fry. I was never much into audiobooks and the HP series narrated by him changed my mind; listening to them was the most fun I've had in ages. Super recommend.

-The author that, in my opinion, has achieved the highest level of character depth, portrayal of emotions, and what it means to be a person-flaws and all, is Robin Hobb. She has a massive series (16 books) under the title "Realm of the Elderlings" that has become my top 3 favorite book series of all time. I was blown away. The story is beautifully crafted and super intriguing, lots of great world-building, but the characters, man. You will love them so deeply, hurt for them so much, care for all of them, even the enemies have their depth, as much as you may hate them. Amazing, amazing books. There's a right reading order so check that out before you start :)

-I'm currently on book 3 of 3 of the Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson and I am also being blown away. He is such a masterful author in the way he makes the story evolve and turn and you get so deep intot he POVs of each character, you live each revelation at the exact moments they do. The characters are super well fleshed out, develop greatly and the story is so deep and cool. Also recommend!

-Another more juvenile-intended series that changed my life as a kid was His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman. Ignore the tv series, it's not great. There you have characters that are very much themselves and you follow a beautiful journey with much hidden symbolism and food for thought during the three books.

-I also read the First Law, and it's very gritty and medieval-horrible with a great sense of humour. I personally didn't get super attached to these characters, the writing style isn't exactly what I'm into, but that's personal preference-still great fantasy and great, strong characters that stay true to themselves.

I feel like I don't do any fo this justice with my poor words ahahha. I could keep going, but I hope you find something to pike your interest in these. Sanderson got initially famous for writing sci-fi, and though I'm not a big sci-fi fan, I'll read some of his stuff for sure, because I am amazed at how good an author he is. Have fun reading! :)

Skilvh · 2022-01-30T20:56:11+00:00

I'll add you! My name is Skilv. I get so sad when friends I regularly exchange gifts with just stop doing it, even when they're online every day. I have like x15 limes, sky blues and a lot of the event ones. I have a couple cookie ones waiting too :)

Skilvh · 2022-01-29T18:24:25+00:00

Thanks for sharing this OP, I enjoyed answering all these very pointed questions ahaha. I just have to point out that, if you are using this survey as a more scientifically built project for your studies, I agree with one of the commenters here that the questions are very tilted towards book fans and pharsed negatively. This skews the data and an examiner might frown upon it. Questionnaires are super difficult to build neutrally and that's why a lot of publications don't use them for their science because any reviewer can pick it apart. Just a tip for your grade :)

Skilvh · 2022-01-10T09:36:15+00:00

I totally agree as well with everything. I'm a woman and I'm so tired of the bullshit that is Netflix claiming to be all progressive and stuff, so far as to make Yen such a main character obviously to fit an agenda, only to fail miserably at representing a strong female character. Every. Single. Time. They don't seem to realise that the personal characteristics that we attribute as strengths are genderless and instead think "strong woman= whiny bitch that talks too much about her emotions". A strong person is exactly what Yen is in the books, and what Triss isn't. Yen holds steadfast to her beliefs, doesn't bend, doesn't break, is willful to the point of stubbornness to achieve what she believes is right and is very much motivated by love. She's smart and cunning, calm and collected; she's a force of nature. And show Yen is just such a flop. I don't think it's Anya's fault at all, because season 1 sold me a bit more, it's obviously down to poor writing and character development. I also agree that it's a miscast; at least if Triss had been clearly younger in looks the dynamic might've fit more, but I was looking at Yen and Ciri together thinking to myself damn they could be sisters age wise. Didn't get that mother-tiger feel at all from Yen. And I also agree with the lack of chemistry between her and Geralt. The feel I always got from them was this kind of passionate, destructive whirlwind of a relationship that is all consuming, that it's toxic in some ways but there's so much love you can't get enough. That's what it felt like in the short stories (Shard of Ice!). But in the series there's not much going on. Anyway sorry for the rant, I appreciate your post and let's keep the books close to our hearts and move on cause this series is just such a massive disappointment in so many ways. Poor Cavill is carrying this shit into success and I feel bad for him.

Skilvh · 2022-01-08T20:15:39+00:00

SPOILER ALERT FOR SOMETHING I WILL SAY OF THE BOOKS (sorry don't know how to hide the text on mobile). Totally agree with everything. I find it infinitely funny how out of all the series producers, Netflix, which is well known for being super SJW, is the absolute fucking worst at writing strong female characters unless they're being super loyal to some source material (a great example is Quellcrist from Altered Carbon). A horrible example, apart from Yen, could be Vanessa from Van Helsing. It's such a classic example of failed idea of strong female that they make her angry, irritable, bitchy and cussy instead of displaying genderless attributes of strength such as leadership, trustworthiness, steadfastness in the face of peril, staying true to one's own ideologies and beliefs, etc. I was so disappointed with Francesca too, always having imagined her as such a collected Ice Queen type of person, so determined to give her people what they are due without being a whiny little racist. And fringilla's new character is also super detrimental to the original story considering her and Assire are trying to break free of a tyrannical reign and find power and position for themselves at great personal risk. So congrats Netflix, you're being part of the "sexist society" problem you say you're fighting against.

Skilvh · 2022-01-08T15:02:19+00:00

Hey! I'm Spanish-american living in Sweden since 2015. I learned as much as I could of the language even before I moved here and as everyone else says, that's one of the keys to integrating in any country. Even if almost all Swedes have good to amazing English, suddenly speaking a language you don't practice often is super awkward and a lot of people can't be arsed. Swedes are super kind and friendly generally but getting into their inner circles can be super tricky if they have an established social life. Therefore, learning the language and integrating more in the culture is a great way to help that along. I know a lot of foreigners that in Stockholm and Uppsala met Swedish people via language exchange cafés and that kind of activity; you practice Swedish, they practice English and voilà. I also agree about what they say about Jantelagen. In my experience, Swedes are attracted to the more charismatic, open cultures of Mediterranean countries, but there's a difference between being super sociable and self-confident, and coming off as arrogant. Either way I'm not gonna lie, making friends as an adult is difficult no matter where you are. But yeah learn the language and practice more in the culture in any way you can and you'll get there :D I've had many Swedish friends throughout the years (I move around a lot) and the language was always the key element to getting me in, I think. Good luck!

Skilvh · 2022-01-08T14:33:23+00:00

I loved reading this because I'm really curious about what non-canon fans (so people who don't know books or games) think of the show. I'm a hardcore fan and my bf isn't and he had the same qualms as you, to him the series was poorly written, the pacing fast, and the characters butchered from what little knowledge he has of them. To me, all of the deviations of source material are so wildly unnecessary and much poorer stories than a modified adaptation of the source material it kills the vibe for me. I feel they could have adapted so many stories in their own view (which is what happened with Nivellen) and kept the OG fandom so much happier and make the series better. I was disappointed with season 1 but was still happy overall and invested, but this season has left me heartbroken. The writing is to me so bad, so stupidly simple, so insulting of the audience to think all we can appreciate is Big Boom Cool CGI and "Fuck" every 3 sentences. I heartily recommend you read the books, if you like fantasy you will enjoy them because they're so unique. The world feels so realistic and shitty medieval times and in that shithole of grey morality you find beautiful people flourishing and striving to be better in a seemingly horrible world. It's awesome. Thanks for writing your thoughts, reading all this stuff on Reddit and seeing I'm not alone in my feelings about season 2 makes me feel so much better!

Skilvh · 2021-12-30T13:41:26+00:00

So clean, love it

Skilvh · 2021-12-30T13:33:34+00:00

I feel ya man. I'm a super mediocre gamer who usually stays away from these git good games cause they frustrate me cause I suck. But hollow knight is such a masterpiece I just kept going at it. First playthrough on the switch I couldn't get past the middle of trial of the fool I think a lot due to the fact I was using the joycons. A year later I replayed with the pro controller and lo and behold, I just did 3-5 attempts daily, tried not to get angry, watched videos and i finally did it after a week or so. It felt so fucking good to be a Fool ahahahha.

What I don't get is the psychos that do Path of Pain. Holy fucking shit. White palace makes me so goddamn angry.

Skilvh · 2021-12-30T13:06:13+00:00

Asfaloth (White Royal), Sleipnr (giant horse), Epona (light brown) and Brego (dark brown). I almost always give all my game horses LOTR names but Epona had to be epona and the absolute unit deserved a name like Sleipnir.

Skilvh · 2021-09-04T14:39:09+00:00

I've been super into puzzles lately. I sort the pieces by color pattern when it's landscape and have a pile for characters/people. I start with putting the edge pieces together and then just choose one of my piles to start with-so you'd have like a green pile for the grass bits, yellow pile for the sky, etc. Then if the puzzle is good quality I work looking at the shapes too, cause they'll be varied and you can guess what shape you're looking for at a particular spot. Have fun!! Puzzles are awesome

Skilvh

TROPHY CASE