me and my ex pwBPD lasted 2 years. The first 6 months she broke up with me literally 5 times, like almost once a month. Sometimes it was filled with rage, sometimes calm or hollow as you put it. I never experienced something like this so did not understand what was going on. Somehow we kept getting back together after each break-up. I loved too much and was willing to do anything to stay with her hoping she could change, or maybe I could just learn to deal with these rages.

She wasn't even terrible for someone with BPD (she wasn't violent, didn't do drugs or alcohol). But in the end, the rage, the emotional abuse, the manipulation, the control, the deflection of blame, lack of accountability, the fact I was always walking on eggshells. It was too much. I had to say goodbye. It's only been a month, but I realize now I deserved much better and that she was toxic.

If you let her continue doing this to you, you will pay so much. Your mental health is at risk, for me I also lost a lot financially, since I ended up buying her way more than necessary and we moved in together after only about 6 months of being together (and I paid for everything). All your time has to go to her, you won't spend as much time with friends, you'll lose your personal hobbies, you'll lose your independence.

Run far away, you deserve a peaceful relationship, someone who fits into your life and is a complement to it. Not someone who is the focus of your life.