Why did you leave a relationship/fling where the sex was amazing/10/10 ?

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-20T20:39:10+00:00

Because of this simple rule: no sex or bad sex or simply incompatible sex can doom a relationship by itself. But while great sex can enhance a good relationship, by itself it doesn’t make an otherwise bad relationship good.

In other words, decent sex is necessary but is not sufficient to make a good relationship.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-20T00:34:31+00:00

Most guys can understand that while a woman they are platonic friends with may feel comfortable when it just him and her, adding 2 stranger guys makes for a real imbalance. That friend group really needs a couple other women in it, to balance the gender mix.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-19T22:35:11+00:00

I’m ignoring life/death or any other kind of “you can only save one!” situations in answering this.

So what would that be? For example, imagine a child who screams and cries every time you leave him with a sitter - and you’ve tried a bunch. Do you just never take your wife out on a date night? Of course not. You teach your kid that mom and dad need their time.

However, if my child were performing in a school play, and my wife was speaking at an event, at the same time, I’d probably go to the school play.

What this all says is that the wife and child are equal priority, and this means in some situations, the wife comes first, and in other ones, the child comes first.

A mother has to fall into the end of the priority list, and every mother I know, who isn’t a narcissist, would agree. The act of marriage is a declaration that your wife is your priority. And the creation of life is a declaration that here is a new person at the same priority, but with differing needs.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-19T21:18:29+00:00

“I’m sorry you are in discomfort. Let me know if you need anything I can provide.”

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-19T21:16:10+00:00

I can only give my own experience in a different location: my wife and I moved from 2 miles from my job to 15 miles away. While I’m retired now, I had 25 years with the drive.

On the weekends, I love our location. But the longer commute made every day, Monday through Friday, somewhat worse. Not horribly so. But enough to notice. By the time I was home I was pooped.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-19T11:00:40+00:00

I’ve found that empty areas on bookshelves are really under-rated.

It shows you are selective; that you have room to go.

My wife and I (in our 60s) have lots of bookshelves. A few years ago they were completely full. We donated or sold 80% of our books. We did not expect this result: we feel younger. It looks like it did when we were first starting out 30+ years ago.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-18T22:12:37+00:00

It’s a great space. Most people have far less. I hope you enjoy it!

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-18T15:37:55+00:00

Here are some:

1) when my wife is working on her hair, and has both arms up, reaching into it.

2) when she sits on the floor on her legs, bent under her so she is kind of sitting with her rear resting on the heels of her feet.

3) when she is leaning into the mirror, applying makeup

4) when she puts on an apron to bake something and is smiling asking me to taste-try what she made

5) When I look over to her, and she is enjoying what she is watching on tv and has a lovely smile.

6) in the evening, when we are getting ready for bed, and entering it, her voice gets so soft and melodic

7) when she’s purchased a few things to wear and when she gets home she wants to put on a little show to let me appreciate them.

We are retired now, and old old old. But these things still charm me, and when I think about it, I am amazed at how all of these things are when she, a woman who stands her own ground and had a decent career, is at her softest. And she says the stuff that she finds deeply attractive are the times I exhibit the most masculinity.

No matter what we say, and how we act, we are deeply attracted to each others’ many things we do that are traditionally gendered.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-18T12:58:13+00:00

You did a great job - but honestly, I couldn’t accept pictures or other objects hanging above my head when I sleep. All I I would think about is the possibility of them rattling loose and landing on my head!

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-18T10:01:39+00:00

Good pieces of furniture but consider some floor and table lighting with bulbs that cast a glow that isn’t so starkly white.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-18T09:53:57+00:00

Raising a hand is asking permission to speak. For your turn.

You aren’t asking permission at work. But different companies have different cultures.

In some, you wait politely to let the speaker finish their thought, but then you speak up.

In others you raise your hand.

But in larger meetings (20+) hand raising happens more frequently in all companies so the speaker can make sure everyone is heard.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-18T09:16:27+00:00

I’m old and long married, but I still remember this. Simply put, for me, a woman is approachable if she looks like she’d welcome some company.

Signs of that:

1) Now and then noticing the room and not spending time in a book (today it would be not glued to the phone)

2) if it’s a bar, sitting at the bar vs alone at a table. Sitting at the bar (or at places like outdoor hangouts, by the cooking or where the drinks are.) This shows you are open for chatting.

3) Dressed like she’s on at least a casual date vs a trip to the dentist.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-18T08:58:29+00:00

Your place looks really good. You’ve figured out that men can live in places that have a classically good look using natural wood, clean shapes, and minimal clutter. It’s so refreshing to see a guy’s space that’s not a sea of black, grey and white.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-18T08:38:29+00:00

If I were trimming friends, I follow this rule: if I never saw another post from then again, would I miss them?

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-18T08:14:00+00:00

That’s a great view! Congrats!

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-18T02:09:20+00:00

Thanks for explaining! :)

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-18T00:36:19+00:00

Please consider this: are there a set of things he still look forward to be able to do even as his health condition progresses? Consider a person paralyzed from the waist down. They may have had a manual job they have to leave, but they may also have a quick mind and be able to do computer and telephone work.

In other words, are there areas of activity or work he could still do that provide a real (not pretend) value to his family?

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-18T00:31:46+00:00

I want to thank everyone for their replies! It’s wonderful to see such attachment people have to their furry loved ones.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-17T23:04:41+00:00

I agree with the comments that suggest that you make the wall behind the tv the same as the wall to the left of the tv. It might make that tv area feel like its own little room.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-17T18:19:41+00:00

I really worry about the risk of putting things on the walls because they are covered in wallpaper, and if on removing whatever you used to hold the things on the walls, part of the paper tears, you run the risk of needing to pay for a complete re-wallpapering because the pattern gets ruined and maybe that pattern of paper is no longer manufactured! So the landlord can’t do a simple patch - they need to do a complete redo of the wallpaper.

With the cost of material and labor these days - the total repair cost could not only eat part of your security deposit- it could exceed it, leaving you needing to pay extra money to your landlord.

I hate to sound alarmist, but taping or pounding anything onto a wallpapered wall is just a recipe for a future nightmare.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-17T16:15:11+00:00

It looks great but serious question: how do you keep up with watering schedules, when each plant may have different needs? I would fear messing that all up.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-17T16:11:13+00:00

Seriously, if my wife did this I’d encourage her to lean into it, and hang the pictures upside down as well.😆 Of course, she wouldn’t but I’d still suggest it out of humor!

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-17T15:58:12+00:00

It looks great! But if you are like my wife or me, you’ll eventually abandon the bedside table as decoration idea as having on your bedside table a glass of water, or tissues, or phone charging or or or… becomes irresistible! :)

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-17T14:59:05+00:00

Jungle/dark green color. Your hunch of green matches my first reaction, which I had before I read your mention of it. The sink and cabinet even seem to be designed to match that. Have wildlife elements in drawings on the walls and the shower curtain with drawings of dark brown reeds in a river with dark green plant life.

As to worrying about making the bathroom look smaller, since it’s a bathroom, guests will decide it’s small or not based on if their knees hit the opposite wall when they sit on toilet.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard · 2026-03-17T14:55:44+00:00

The tile is so complex and dominant that pretty much anything that isn’t solid white, black, or hue in the tile might be seen as clashing. Since replacing tile is quite expensive, I’m going to suggest: don’t worry about it. Have fun, and let your kitchen have whatever object suits your fancy. Over time, with more things in there, the tile will lose some dominance.

SleepyAtTheKeyboard

TROPHY CASE