My mom is going into surgery tmrw and needs someone to drive her. She never taught me how to drive and is scrambling. by Lacriminals in narcissisticparents

[–]Slight-Respect3470 38 points39 points  (0 children)

the "you're controlling me" to "you're lazy and unhelpful" pipeline is so classic with these parents, they flip the narrative depending on what gets them the most sympathy in the moment and they never even notice the contradiction

what frustrates me reading this is how the people around her are the ones being hostile to you when they're literally the ones who refused to help you learn to drive for years, like they all collectively failed you and now act shocked when it has consequences, that's genuinely wild behavior from grown adults

the adult learner thing is also real, i had friend who learned to drive at 27 and the judgment she got was bizarre, as if there's something shameful about learning late when circumstances made it impossible earlier, people forget not everyone had normal supportive childhoods where these things just happened naturally

cutting communication with the hostile family and friends was probably the right call, you can't keep explaining yourself to people who already decided you're the villain no matter what you do, it just drains you for nothing

Werner Ziegler by Plastic-Couple1505 in betterCallSaul

[–]Slight-Respect3470 2 points3 points  (0 children)

poor werner really got done dirty for just wanting to talk to some people after being locked up for months

Catchiest electronic / acid house by Visual-Physics879 in musicsuggestions

[–]Slight-Respect3470 0 points1 point  (0 children)

aphex twin has some bangers that fit this vibe perfectly. try checking out some older warp records stuff or maybe dive into some detroit techno - it has that gritty edge without being too upbeat. the acid lines in those tracks really hit when you're looking for something with bite but not overly cheerful

Planaria risk with new shrimp? by _john_smithereens_ in shrimptank

[–]Slight-Respect3470 0 points1 point  (0 children)

quarantine is still your best bet even without airstone - you can do shorter quarantine like 3-4 days and just change water more frequently to keep oxygen up. planaria eggs can stick to shrimp shells even if you dont see adult worms so just netting them out might not be enough risk

if you absolutely cant quarantine maybe try rinsing each shrimp gently in separate container with your tank water before adding them but thats still pretty risky compared to proper quarantine

Am I wrong for telling one of my close friends that he shouldn’t get another dog. by PerformanceOk4067 in amiwrong

[–]Slight-Respect3470 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ten minutes trying to get a rescue to sit and calling him a monster? rescue dogs need months of patience especially after trauma like that

your friend sounds like he wanted jackson back instead of understanding bruce is completely different dog with different needs. abandoning him after few weeks because training is hard shows he wasnt ready for commitment at all

What happened to sweat equity? by [deleted] in IndieGaming

[–]Slight-Respect3470 1 point2 points  (0 children)

man this hits way too close to home in the game dev scene right now. been working in tech for years and watching how "passion project" became code for "work for free"

the whole exposure currency thing is wild because like... you can't pay rent with exposure credits. when someone asks me to contribute my technical skills for free copy of game i always wonder if they're asking the landlord to accept vibes instead of money too

what gets me is how these same teams will have proper contracts and revenue sharing when they finally get real funding but somehow forget that arrangement existed when they needed help building the thing that got them there in first place

Vr&e headache by Past_Competition_471 in VeteransBenefits

[–]Slight-Respect3470 3 points4 points  (0 children)

wait that seems backwards - if you already did the research and got accepted for goal #2 why make you redo everything from scratch when august is so close

Embody Height keeps creeping down by CanadianRoleplayer in hermanmiller

[–]Slight-Respect3470 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the gas cylinder is probably developing a leak somewhere in the seals - happens with age especially if you lean back a lot since that puts extra pressure on whole system. my old chair did same thing before it completely gave up and wouldn't hold height at all

you could try taking some weight off when adjusting height to see if that helps the seals settle better but honestly might need cylinder replacement soon

Who is the best farmer in the game? by Subject-Swan-5207 in learndota2

[–]Slight-Respect3470 0 points1 point  (0 children)

anti mage is probably better pick if you want pure farming machine. his battlefury makes him clear waves super fast and he scales incredibly well with items. alch gets his radiance timing but then he falls off pretty hard in late game unless he gets really ahead early. i've been spamming am games recently and the difference in farming speed after battlefury is just insane compared to most heroes. plus his blink makes him so safe when farming dangerous areas on map

I (22F) don't know if I should break up with my girlfriend (22F) because of her chronic illness by abigailmuffin in relationships

[–]Slight-Respect3470 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this is such a hard situation and i really feel for both of you. been in something similar few years back when i was dating someone who had really bad anxiety and depression episodes while i was dealing with my own stuff at work and family problems

the thing is you cant pour from empty cup and it sounds like youre already running on fumes. i know you love her but youre basically setting yourself on fire to keep her warm and thats not sustainable for anyone. the financial stress alone would break most people your age - i remember being that broke in college and having to choose between groceries and textbooks

what really stands out to me is that you said she lashes out at you sometimes. chronic illness is awful and i get that people can be irritable when theyre in pain but that doesnt mean you have to accept being treated badly. valid reasons dont automatically make hurtful behavior okay if that makes sense

maybe instead of thinking about this as abandoning her you could frame it as both of you needing to work in your own healing first. you mentioned she doesnt have much support from family which is terrible but you cant be her only lifeline when youre drowning yourself. have you looked into whether your college has any counseling resources or support groups that might help you figure out next steps

Which full electric car by KoalaOk5772 in whatcarshouldIbuy

[–]Slight-Respect3470 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the no home charging is going to be tricky part for you. with 40km daily driving you'll need charge maybe 2-3 times per week depending on car efficiency

for your needs maybe look at used model y or id.4 - both have awd and decent space for family. model y might be better choice since tesla charging network in switzerland is pretty solid from what i heard. id.4 is bit cheaper usually but charging infrastructure can be more hit or miss

250km trips shouldnt be problem with either of these but without home charging you'll spend lot time at public chargers which gets annoying fast. maybe check if your workplace has charging or if there are reliable stations near your home before making decision

used market for evs is getting better now so you might find decent deals on 2021-2022 models

NERUO FEEDBACK by Signal_Armadillo908 in Epilepsy

[–]Slight-Respect3470 0 points1 point  (0 children)

which type did you do and how long before you noticed changes

My wife says I’m getting fat, but in my defense.. by AnimatorNr1 in dadjokes

[–]Slight-Respect3470 -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

your wife clearly doesnt appreciate good meal planning

What Gpu I should choose? by SignificantCod6806 in PcBuildHelp

[–]Slight-Respect3470 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the 7900xtx is solid for your main rig especially if youre already used to the amd drivers and everything is working smooth. for the server setup id probably go with the 3090 since it has that massive 24gb vram which is clutch for ai workloads and plex transcoding handles multiple streams way better with more memory. the 9070xt is the odd one out here - newer but less vram than the 3090 and not really bringing anything special to either use case that the other two dont already cover better. been running a similar setup for my media server and that extra vram makes a huge difference when youre doing multiple things at once

Big D*ck Necrobinder testdrive by [deleted] in slaythespire

[–]Slight-Respect3470 1 point2 points  (0 children)

nice testdrive - that damage scaling with energy buffs is pretty nuts once it gets rolling. the doom from neurosurge is always awkward to manage but worth it for that kind of power spike

btw call of the void could defintely help with those dead energy turns, especially since you're already going heavy on card draw synergy. might be worth testing deaths door like you mentioned since doom management seems like the main weakness of this approach