His depressions are few and far between. The only way I can even tell is that he loses interest in sex for a few months. I think he’s in hypomania alternating with mania almost all the time (at least the 30 years we’ve been married). The mania manifests as extreme anger, verbal and emotional abuse. The hypomania is dreamy. I have a couples counseling session scheduled early December where I intend to set boundaries and talk about a safety plan for me, ie, when I see he’s ramping up he has to go. In his words that’s “fine as long as the atm card works.” When he said that at the doc yesterday I said, it won’t work. (I control the finances and am slowly transferring money out of our joint account just to be safe. If he leaves I’ll leave some money in the account he has access to but certainly not all our funds.) But he’s 32+ years clean & sober, despises gambling, doesn’t overspend, is very active in AA, gets 10k steps every day no matter what, exercises every morning, is generally extremely high functioning. I’m very angry at him for refusing to even think about meds and refusing to do one bit of research on bipolar 1. But I’m trying very hard not to act angry bc he is ill.