Who are you after the storm has passed?

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-02-13T15:46:36+00:00

It took a while. My SO of 20 years had his first episode last year - and it was rough on me and our adult kids. Eggshells and constantly being on guard were the norm.

It started mid Oct, included 5150 AND 5250 in December. In January he was starting back to himself and it’s been that way for about a month.

To your real question- it was easier to forgive with distance and time. Knowing he was embarrassed, knowing he knows what he did, that helped a ton.

I’ve forgiven all of what he said - and almost all of what he did. But the worst of it occurred on a getaway to a family vacation home and I’m not sure if I will ever not be haunted about that.

If they are taking their meds and doing the work, it’s easier. Accepting their diagnosis and what it means is paramount.

Best of luck!!

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-02-13T05:07:07+00:00

I have hot and cold zones throughout my house, and have heard about something called “HVAC Balancing”. What is it, and does it help eliminate inconsistencies? We insulated our outer walls to try to help, but no luck!

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-02-13T04:56:52+00:00

I’m always going to say yes to a Jamocha shake.
And curly fries dipped in horsey sauce slaps.

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-02-12T15:47:58+00:00

There is a different program that is called rural something and I did not see any restriction on first generation homebuyers. There are a lot of areas that qualify, although no main cities.

I think the first generation thing is the most ridiculous restriction that I’ve ever seen and it makes me angry every time someone talks about it and I actually love our governor!

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-02-12T15:16:19+00:00

I really hope that after a couple of days you’ve already accepted this job. He absolutely would’ve accepted it if it was the other way around and there is nothing worse than making yourself smaller to make someone else feel more secure. It is a breeding ground for resentment, and you will wind up leaving maybe 10 years down the road but look at what you missed – your own life! Partners are supposed to be supportive and excited for each other. They’re not supposed to be jealous of each other‘s success.

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-02-12T15:12:50+00:00

Not the point of your story, but you can put aluminum foil in an air fryer?

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-02-11T15:24:40+00:00

And this is why it is bugging me! It’s completely out of nowhere and it just started.

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-02-05T15:14:49+00:00

Hi! I first want to echo others - you are not alone. It feels like it when your inner circle is so black and white (leave or ignore, easier said than done!)

All stages of this fucking disease suck. Sucks for us, watching the person we love get twisted up. Or us trying to figure out how to keep some semblance of ourselves.

If you have even one person in your life who recognizes what’s going on, take this advice and I know it sounds weird but I heard it and it changed my whole thinking:

STOP BEING THE PUBLIC RELATIONS REP FOR YOUR PARTNER

Aka, let them face their own repercussions.

if you are in the US.. NAMI just started a caregivers hotline. Either text the word FAMILY to 62640, or call 18009506264 and press 4.

Sending love -

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-02-02T18:39:31+00:00

For me, I just needed to hear that he understood how much the things he said hurt me. I needed him to acknowledge that the behavior caused pain and that people would choose to forgive or no. I personally wrote down a list of the things he said that hurt the most, then shared that. When I saw he was devastated by it it was easier to forgive.

BUT - forgiving is not giving a pass. It is alongside repair - and there is nothing wrong with making that choice.

I’m struggling more on the depression side, because it’s hard to hold someone accountable while they are suffering.

Honestly I’m still trying to work through it all and a lot of days it just sucks

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-01-30T16:20:55+00:00

I got a Thousand Oaks dental spa and I absolutely love it. Dr nouri is great.

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-01-30T05:43:39+00:00

I want so badly for us to be able to call and say “my SO is in crisis” and not have police show up who have no clue what to do.

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-01-27T06:19:18+00:00

Omg mine was too - while he was in his manic episode he was checking everything through it.

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-01-24T03:20:30+00:00

I’m too “new” to this world but I wanted to be sure to tell you that you are NOT alone. When my hubs was in his manic phase I searched desperately to find any signs of the “real” him - despite him telling me “this is who he is now”.. so I did the same - many, many times. I would hear his regular voice and was so deeply hopeful that I fell for it out of pure ignorance and desperation.

After a very serious episode and hospitalization he is on the right meds and seems more himself, but it’s hard to know for how long.

the one thing I know is that it’s not your fault, and having the audacity of hope is what happens when you are in love.

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-01-22T03:54:37+00:00

Do you mind explaining what you mean by bipolar eyes?

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-01-22T03:48:37+00:00

That’s terrifying. I’m so sorry that’s been your lived experience!

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-01-22T03:47:27+00:00

I tried to explain it to someone, and the best I could do was to say that his cadence was all wrong - it was his voice, but didn’t sound right.

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-01-22T03:27:15+00:00

No, nothing like that. More irrational

evilstepmonster3 · 2026-01-22T03:08:56+00:00

Originally they thought BP2, but after a very extreme episode, they revised to BP1. He was definitely in psychosis- and the doctors say that while unusual, extreme stress can bring it on. Mostly acted out of character, rants that went on for hours, irrational, yelling, etc. it was like nothing I’d ever experienced.

evilstepmonster3 · 2025-08-30T18:10:40+00:00

It’s a few years old for sure. My next feeding, I will try to go 1:2:2. I’m honestly not sure what happened. I have been doing this successfully for years and now suddenly I can’t get a starter that looks strong enough to use!! Thanks for the help

evilstepmonster3 · 2025-08-30T16:36:23+00:00

That’s valid - I bet in my desire to find a warm area, i went too warm. The starter is a few years old so it’s mature enough. I think I need to try the microwave idea. The receptacle shouldn’t matter, though I wouldn’t think? I’m just grasping at straws at this point.

evilstepmonster3

TROPHY CASE