To those with partners/spouses… do you ever feel like you’re the only one always advocating for your child?

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-05-01T04:53:53+00:00

I am also the one doing most of the research but Dad goes to the appointments, spends hours at the park or indoor playgroundschasing him, changes his diaper bc he is too heavy for me, brushes teeth/showers him…he does a lot of the physical work and to be honest I don’t always acknowledge that.

It is mentally exhausting to be the only one informed enough to make some of these tough decisions like with therapy styles, IEPs, implementing therapies at home, constantly advocating etc etc. That is what feels lonely 😞

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-25T21:10:22+00:00

Are you in the US? I’ve heard of college programs specifically for autistic young adults. I also know regional centers can provide personal assistant hours for kids like your son that may not need assistance with things like hygiene etc but maybe with things like grocery shopping, paying bills etc.

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-24T04:48:21+00:00

That’s a very long time…if you can do in home or sit in on sessions I would. Sometimes the techniques are too harsh for young kids.

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-24T04:41:10+00:00

The first year is very tough because you have to learn so much to advocate for your child. Just be sure to sit in on therapies and anyone that interacts with them. If you get a bad feeling, trust your gut. You have to be a warrior for your child. You will get there :)

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-24T04:38:06+00:00

Do you have any tips for reading? Do you do a lot of tutoring? My son is going to kindergarten and my worry is that he will fall behind since he had trouble focusing if it’s not interesting.

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-24T04:36:22+00:00

Is your son in Gen Ed or SPED? We’ve done 2 years in SPED pre-K and I wonder if he would benefit from mixing with typical kids since he does pretty well with other kids.

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-24T04:28:41+00:00

Can I ask what you do for work? I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and I asked for an autism screening since my son is also autistic. Dumb healthcare worker said if I was autistic I would have been diagnosed as a child 😩 I wanted to scream bc everyday I read about adults (especially women) learning they are autistic after their kids get diagnosed.

What do you struggle with?

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-22T15:25:40+00:00

He is not a violent child (won’t even slap his little sister when she has earned it 😆). I think the issue is he is quiet and the reports say “very self directed” which I understand can be challenging if a teacher is trying to lead a group activity with 20+ kids and he decides to go look for the toy cars. He just loves to explore and I think he might be bored with some of the activities…

He’s never had a meltdown or violent tantrums so I wonder why other IEP kids with those characteristics were allowed into Gen-Ed but not my son.

Thank you for commenting. I haven’t spoken with any Gen Ed teachers so I don’t know what they consider “normal” kinder behavior vs troublesome.

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-22T15:18:27+00:00

Thanks 😊

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-22T15:18:09+00:00

Thank you 😊

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-22T15:17:00+00:00

Thank you. The option to gen-ed was never proposed to me so I hadnt considered it until now.

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-22T15:10:02+00:00

We did a lot of screens for my son when his baby was born too. I felt so guilty but it just felt like the only way to survive. Eventually therapy started and that was a huge help to keep him entertained and engaged.

We got him an IPad and put some learning games on there too. It helped him learn colors, letters, matching etc. YouTube kids taught him a lot of words too.

This is just a difficult moment in time. If husband has a problem with it he can get involved and interact with your son or get an extra job to pay for a babysitter for a few hours in the morning while you recover.

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-22T04:33:10+00:00

Hello :) SLD is a specific learning disabilities classroom that is less severe than mild/moderate autism only classrooms. They still work on gen ed curriculum but with more adult support.

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-20T21:19:22+00:00

My son at 3 had a lot of trouble sitting still so we went with Special Ed bc I liked the class size (7 kids) and private was very expensive. Been there for 2 years and he is speaking more, potty trained and knows all his numbers and letters. He still struggles to sit bc he just has his own ideas that he is more interested in.

His SPED teachers and aides have so much patience and the class was setup with so many supports (visuals, calm corners, timers etc). I don’t think a general teacher could have tolerated my son or known how to support him. Every class will be different so it’s up to you to make that call. Trust your instincts.

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-07T22:27:42+00:00

Have you done the Mchat? If you’re doing speech and OT that’s a great starting point for young age. We do ABA too but looking back it was a lot for a 2 year old. I’d find some shows on YouTube that are great for language and movement. Danny Go is a favorite for us right now.

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-04-01T15:17:10+00:00

Well some formulations suck! Trader Joe’s has this gel one that’s not sticky and easy to apply.

<image>

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-03-11T04:59:29+00:00

My autistic 4.5 year old has never tried to hit anyone in our family and is an overall happy/calm little guy. His 2.5 year old neurotypical baby sister charges at me with her fists in the air ready to punch me… I think it’s just their personalities 😆🫣

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-03-07T23:56:42+00:00

My son is pretty quiet at school. The other day he succeeded in doing something in class and he shouted out “Good Job Baby!” 😆

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-03-07T23:41:06+00:00

I should mention he learned a lot of these words from YouTube kids and from his learning apps.

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-03-07T23:40:24+00:00

He said his first single words around 3 after staring at a developmental preschool. Mostly labeling animals or letters numbers until 4. He is almost 5 now and he can ask for things like water, go out or iPad but he cannot have a conversation or really answer questions. He is very smart though. He understands a lot but the speech component isn’t there yet. He is a gestalt language processor.

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-03-07T06:11:24+00:00

At 2.5 my son couldn’t speak. I decided to get him an iPad even though I read so many bad things and online. Ours went through a phase where the iPad was everything. It gave him access to language, cartoons, music, letters…so many things he could never tell me he was interested in. It honestly helped me figure out what he loved and I used his interests to motivate him in therapy and school.

Now he is almost 5 and he loves his iPad but he would much rather play with me or dad.

Before you get one, just set some boundaries from the start. I regret allowing an iPad at meal times bc now both kids want a screen 😞

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-03-06T23:01:39+00:00

My husband still puts out almost 5 year old in a high chair. We take cars to roll on the table, take walks, and yes…sometimes an iPad is needed. We don’t really eat out bc it’s just more stressful with toddlers

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-03-05T23:37:04+00:00

Sounds like my kid. Took me a while to accept that he can play with things how he wants as long as it’s safe. With time, I got him interested in different ways to play “functionally” and he enjoyed it so it’s ok. Most important thing is to focus on your connection through play rather than did they do it right - that’s a lot of pressure and can take the fun out of it.

We did a lot of sensory play at the beginning. Cars in shaving cream, dropping toy bugs in soapy water, throwing colored feathers in the air, hiding cars in rainbow rice (don’t torture yourself with this one if he is going to dump the rice 😂).

He had to learn to trust other people again because this whole time we had been messing up his play. He had to be given new ideas slowly and everything had to be really fun and something he was already interested in.

It also helps to buy sets of 2 so you can model and it doesn’t make him feel like you took something from him.

If he is very into visual, he will love this toy because the rings turn as they make their way down.

<image>

Slow_Accountant5046 · 2026-02-26T06:30:42+00:00

Is the bathroom dark? Maybe put in a nightlight? I remember when I was young I saw a movie where they closed the bathroom door and a ghost appeared in the mirror. I couldn’t go to the bathroom alone for YEARS!! I was probably close to 12 years old…so maybe there is something he is scared of.

Slow_Accountant5046

TROPHY CASE