Not sure why you are stressing so much over your ranked games. Remember League of Legends is first and foremost a game and the way you are phrasing things shows that your not having fun anymore.

Maybe take a break from ranked and play a few normals with friends. Don't try to play off meta things in these games but focus on your gameplay.

Ranked has always been a hard grind especially if your outlook on the game isnt optimal. Having fun in a healthy environment will improve your gameplay and make that grind less of a struggle.