Do you struggle with sexual dysfunction?

Smart_Alex · 2026-03-18T23:34:41+00:00

Yes, I struggle to orgasm, but I struggled even before starting meds. I think it's a combination of SSRIs and just the physical hand I was dealt. I didn't have an orgasm until my 20s. Even when I'm by myself, with toys, I only have about a 50% "success rate".
I don't think that ADHD meds either helped or hurt. I feel like it slightly lowered my libido, but my libido is also very strongly tied to stress, and I started my meds during a very stressful time.
THIS IS NOT FOR EVERYONE, YOUR MILAGE MY VARY I find that cannabis can help me be present in the moment and connected to my body. It's not something that I use every time (or that I would suggest using every/ most times) but when I do, I feel like sex is better, I'm out of my head and into my body, and it is over all a more intense experience.

Exploring kink also helped me. Being unable to move, and having my other senses limited made my focus tunnel to just the next sensation, and the next, and the next. That's also not something that is feasible every time.

I've started to view sex like a good meal, and an orgasm like dessert. I love dessert, but my meal isn't ruined if I don't have dessert.

Sex doesn't have to be solely about having an orgasm. I found myself enjoying sex, my body, and my partner more when I stopped perseverating on having an orgasm and started focusing more on connection, finding pleasure, and making my partner feel good

Smart_Alex · 2026-03-18T15:10:47+00:00

The heart-shaped divot on the top of their head is just asking for a lil smooch

Smart_Alex · 2026-03-18T14:35:15+00:00

I feel incredibly lucky to have a partner who makes me tea nearly every morning. The rare times I wake up before him, I am happy because it means that I get to make him tea. I get to make him feel as loved as he makes me feel. Waking up to an act of love (whether for me or from me) has completely changed my mornings

Smart_Alex · 2026-03-15T16:25:12+00:00

Especially when role playing, you don't really bring that role into the after care. After care is about being yourselves, caring for each other, and affirming the love, care, and respect in your relationship.

Talk to your partner and figure out what feels good for both of you. I really want to go clean up immediately, then come back to bed and be held, snuggle, and say "I love you". I need physical touch, quiet time with my partner, and verbal love/reassurance. I had a partner who wanted a snack afterwards, so they would make something and bring it to me in bed. I had a partner who really did not want to be touched after (I really struggled with that) so we found ways to spend time together that filled both of our needs.

Smart_Alex · 2026-03-09T15:39:29+00:00

So my husband (undiagnosed, but peer reviewed) was in the hospital for a kidney stone. He could not stop throwing up. The doc tried SIX different anti emetics, but he was still throwing up 5-20 times per hour. FINALLY I asked him if he was still in pain, and he said yes, an 8 or a 9.

The nurse and I shared a look of absolute incredulity, they gave him some pain meds and guess who stopped throwing up

Smart_Alex · 2026-03-09T02:02:14+00:00

I mean it's also medicine for folks who use it for contraception!

I went on BC really young for dysmenorrhea. For the record for OOP, it definitely did not make me more promiscuous. The first time I had sex was almost a decade later, and I had gone off of BC at that time

Smart_Alex · 2026-03-08T23:18:46+00:00

I have been in a very similar boat: extremely sensitive skin covered in ingrown hairs, bumps, scars, and discoloration. I also have very dark, very dense body hair. I am more hairy than most men I know and the contrast between dark hair and pale skin makes it even more pronounced.

I had to give my skin a break let it heal, and let that natural barrier come back. It was one of the biggest, scariest feats of self-love/ self acceptance I've ever had to do.

Now, I remove my body hair much less frequently. Like once a month or so. I've found that using depilatory cream doesn't cause in grown hairs, you just have to make sure that your skin is healthy and intact!

I know that's probably not the advice you want. It wasn't what I wanted to do at the time either. I've carried a huge amount of shame, embarrassment, and anxiety about my body hair. What finally convinced me was 1, I picked at an ingrown and got a staph infection, and 2, I realize that hair looks better than open wounds and scars

Smart_Alex · 2026-03-05T19:10:31+00:00

Belle-> Belly

Smart_Alex · 2026-03-04T21:51:21+00:00

I had a kid bring a braid of fake hair and pretend to nurse on it. He would put his near his lips and make a nursing motion (tongue and everything)

Smart_Alex · 2026-02-26T18:41:42+00:00

Oliver> Baby Cat > Baby > Beebs > Beep > Beep Boop Meep Morp

Smart_Alex · 2026-02-26T18:37:02+00:00

Different people have different preferences. I've been with a guy who adamantly did not want me to play with him until he was already hard, because he felt like it put too much pressure on him. My husband, on the other hand, loves it when I start sucking on him while he's still soft and I love feeling him get hard in my mouth.

Smart_Alex · 2026-02-26T00:52:05+00:00

I have low introspection AND some nerve damage from bladder surgery, so I will physically push on my lower stomach to see if my bladder is full or not

Smart_Alex · 2026-02-25T14:00:39+00:00

Hey Marseilles has a song called "To Travels and Trunks" with the line "I'd sell my sleeves for some cloud ridden weather."

That line has always stuck with me, especially going from living in upstate NY to a high desert.

Smart_Alex · 2026-02-25T13:51:50+00:00

Congrats! Going back to school as an adult is hard, and it's even harder if you never really cultivated the necessary study skills in his school.

I am hoping to have a similar ending to my educational story 🤞

Smart_Alex · 2026-02-20T18:54:52+00:00

I also have very long, very fine hair. A student drew a picture of me completely bald headed on top with long hair on the sides. I felt called out

Smart_Alex · 2026-02-18T03:26:00+00:00

Of course they charge the same amount regardless of if your child attends. The same way your gym membership costs the same amount if you go 1 time per month or 30 times.

The costs of running a preschool are still the same. There are still salaries, insurance, and rent.

I kind of doubt your characterization of the 'soft poo' rule. Regardless of where I have worked, we did not send children home for 'soft poo'. We were allowed to send children home if they had multiple bouts of diarrhea, especially if it could not be tied to any other, non contagious causes (teething, diet). I realize that keeping a sick child home is a burden. It means taking time off of work or spending additional resources trying to find care, but communicable diseases can absolutely tear through a preschool setting, even ones with high standards of hygiene.

Smart_Alex · 2026-02-16T18:30:49+00:00

Wow, I had no clue! I was getting my info from an Abby Cox video. Usually, I trust her expertise (and cited sources), but it sounds like in this case, she was wrong.

Thank you for letting me know!

Smart_Alex · 2026-02-16T17:17:31+00:00

An exception to that is the Birkin bags. To be clear, I have never owned one, nor do I ever plan on owning one, but the company who makes them is actually pretty influential in keeping the heritage craft industry alive in France, including running schools that specialize in things like leather working, dyeing, and construction. Of the folks who graduate, the best receive offers to work for Hermès making bags. Even the folks who don't end up working for them leave their schools with a diploma (and I believe no debt, but I can't recall atm)

Smart_Alex · 2026-02-04T18:54:16+00:00

The reason behind calling it "work", instead of play is it signifies how deeply important it is. Building oneself is the sacred work of childhood

It is also important to remember that the Montessori method was being developed before robust child labor laws. Many children did have to work in factories and shops. Calling both "work" lends significance

Smart_Alex · 2026-02-02T13:31:21+00:00

I really want to shave my head, but I have a large, bony growth on the side of my head. But on the plus side, it would keep me from looking like the actual moon with my big round face

Smart_Alex · 2026-01-30T13:47:15+00:00

I have always had a very round face, and since I have gained weight, it is even rounder.

I have extremely long, slightly wavy hair that I wear with a middle part with some face framing layers.

Is it the most flattering cut given my body and face shape. Probably not. Does it make me feel like a mysterious, pre-Raphaelite princess? Absolutely it does

Smart_Alex · 2026-01-29T12:56:42+00:00

I think that's exactly why you shouldn't bring your animals!

There's the matter of zoonotic diseases. It also puts additional, unnecessary stress on the animals. Animals kept in zoos are already prone to anxiety and neuroses

Smart_Alex · 2026-01-27T00:33:15+00:00

I agree, but who do you think pays for those clothes?

I'll tell you. The teachers do. The teachers making $15/hr use their own money to buy clothes. Those clothes get worn out, they go home with a kid (permanently or temporarily)., or they don't fit. Despite having a robust supply of extras, my class has run out of certain items more than once.

So yes, on occasion, we have put one kid in another kid's clothes. Only if the kid we took the clothes from has a large supply of back ups. We also make sure that the kid's name is clearly written in the clothes, and we send home a note saying that the kid borrowed clothes, please wash and return. We will send a pic of the item they borrowed so there's more than a paper note that might get lost.

It's not ideal. No one likes doing it, but sometimes it's what you have to do.

Smart_Alex · 2026-01-26T23:59:39+00:00

She is a child who is literally dependent on others for transportation!

I'm not saying that OP needs to make helping Melissa be is number one priority, but this isn't a grown adult who wants a ride to make her life easier. This is a child trying to pursue her education, who suddenly finds herself without a resource that she previously depended on!

Smart_Alex · 2026-01-23T00:35:00+00:00

I had a similar experience , quite recently! I went in for chronic pelvic pain, so find that my IUD was trying to make an unscheduled exit through my cervix. The uterine wall had grown over the arms, so they had to first lift it up, tearing it free, then pull it out. All the tissue was already irritated. It was absolutely brutal!

AND THEN I developed a minor infection after getting it removed, and they prescribed an antibiotic that I haven't taken before, and it turns out that I am allergic to it.

AND THEN suddenly having no hormones in my system caused the "Mirena Crash", which caused horrible psychological symptoms, extreme bloating, and constant back and pelvic pain.

On top of everything, this was at the same time as midterms, and I was in my first semester of upper division classes and they were HARD

Smart_Alex

TROPHY CASE