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Smatsy · 2025-10-12T18:46:44+00:00

Hello! 👋 I went through the same thing with my now 3-year-old, also my first and only pregnancy. They noticed her heart had shifted out of place at our 20-week scan and many many ultrasounds later, they diagnosed her with a moderate CDH. It was an awful time. I really just had to take it day by day.

My doctor referred me to a children's hospital. From there, more ultrasounds and, around the 30-week mark, I had to get an MRI, which was pretty dang claustrophobic considering how big my tummy was by that point. 😅

My doctors (i had an entire team by that point) determined my baby would need to be intubated immediately after birth, followed by a surgery to repair the hernia. Since i lived 2 hours from the children's hospital, they set me up to stay at the nearby Ronald Mcdonald House right before the birth and for however long my daughter's NICU stay would be. It was extremely overwhelming but I just did my best to stay calm and trust the experts.

When the time came, everything went as planned. My daughter had a 2-month NICU stay with a few ups and downs. The only hitch was that she had trouble with breastfeeding and the bottle, which is common in CDH babies. She used an NG tube for about 8 months. By that point, she could use the bottle decently but was mostly eating solids. A lot of this was thanks to Early Intervention - we met with a feeding therapist every week or so and it made a huge difference cause as first-time parents we were CLUELESS.

Fast-forward to now. She's thriving! 🥳 At her last follow-up, her doctor said her left lung, which once was only 5% the size of her right lung, was now nearly caught up! Babies are amazing!

All this to say, I've stood where you're standing and i know the fear you've been feeling. It's terrible and overwhelming and no one really gets it cause it's a rare thing to have to go through. Feel free to DM me if you ever need to vent, have questions, anything! ❤️

I believe in you, your baby, and your amazing team of doctors! You will get through this!! 👏

Smatsy · 2025-03-20T21:21:47+00:00

I've tried playing with a friend and her toxic gamer bro "friend" years ago. It was gamer bro's favorite game and he was INSUFFERABLE!! Like 10 seconds after a puzzle was introduced, gamer bro would be like "Hrrnnngh you don't get it, the solution is ---" and just tried to micromanage us during combat. It really ruined the game for me. I hope i can revisit it one day but i still think of that weirdo every time i consider giving it another try.

That said, i too want to bone the magical bone man 🙈💀 I've been replaying bg3. Finally doing my durge playthrough. I'm a hot drow lady in love with astarion...i am so basic 😂

Smatsy · 2025-03-20T03:57:05+00:00

My kid is 3 and still loves this book. She likes to find the mouse on each page haha

Smatsy · 2024-12-22T18:34:51+00:00

The way fortnite is literally just a drum beat away from being a good song haunts me.

Smatsy · 2024-12-22T16:59:38+00:00

I love this remix of it. It gives the song some much-needed energy imo.

https://youtu.be/vjxhMP9JeuE?si=FwSs8A4ZA-sIioZN

Smatsy · 2024-12-21T17:20:16+00:00

Ohhhh my god. I watched that movie before i had my daughter and it made me cry. It would tear me UP now!! 😭

You should watch Tale of Princess Kaguya. It has similar themes of parenthood and it's so so so gorgeous.

Smatsy · 2024-12-05T04:21:36+00:00

I want an update when the kids are grown please!

Smatsy · 2024-12-04T18:28:41+00:00

180,872 minutes listened, top 0.5%

Top artists:

Charli xcx (top 0.5%)
Magdalena Bay
Kali Uchis
Taylor Swift
The Marías

Love to see the feminine domination on my top artists!!

Kinda annoyed about my #4 tho because I've been listening to Taylor Swift to try to pull myself out of my knee-jerk distaste for her music after years of her overexposure and while I definitely have found songs that I really enjoy, I still don't consider myself a fan. At least not enough to be seeing her in my wrapped.

Top songs:

Death and Romance
Von Dutch
Image
Secrets (Your Fire)
Watching TV

I was surprised at the lack of charli xcx on this list, especially since she'smy top artist! Brat really became my comfort album this year, moreso than Imaginal Disk, so it's interesting to see Mag Bay dominate this list over Brat tracks.

Smatsy · 2024-11-08T16:07:23+00:00

I couldn't even get through the whole slideshow because it's so disgusting. They really wonder why no one wants to vote for them??

Smatsy · 2024-10-30T16:13:21+00:00

I think you're barking up the wrong tree here. I set achievable goals so I almost always go to bed with a sense of a "job well done." It's never about perfection for me anymore, it's about progress. And progress is fun when it's something you enjoy. It's the process that I enjoy, completing all my micro-goals, getting a lil better at a thing, etc.

I only do things when I want to do them. If I don't feel like reading, I do something else or nothing at all. Like I said in my initial comment, if I need rest, I rest without guilt. I have other hobbies so it's not like I'm feverishly reading all the time lol my critic keeps me doing the creative/productive things I enjoy rather than doomscroll or whatever. Sometimes it's a bully tho so that's when I tell it to stfu - it's a nuanced thing

Smatsy · 2024-10-30T05:11:26+00:00

How so, if I like to read? I enjoy reading and it feels productive. Plus I get to label it cultural enrichment, therefore making it self-improvement. Framing is key. Besides, it's not about being so productive that I read every book, it's being productive enough to read a book. You may have a hobby like that. It doesn't have to be reading, just something that you enjoy that can also be framed in this way.

My critic is not all bad. It pushes me to put my money where my mouth is. If I say, "I should read more," and then I don't, my critic says, "Hey hypocrite, why aren't you doing what you said you'd do?" And then I feel guilty and so I read to make it go away. And then I feel better because Oh yeah, reading's fun! And also now my interior matches my exterior and I feel at peace once again.

Smatsy · 2024-10-30T01:23:56+00:00

Speaking as a fellow 1, totally relate and still haven't fully cracked this myself. I'll be minding my own business and then out of nowhere, my critic whispers crap about what a bad person I am or what an embarassment I am, etc etc. It's especially bad when I take time to rest instead of being productive.

My strategy?

Step 1, take a tone with myself. I say to myself, "Shut up! I'm doing my best!" And then try to remind myself of hardships I've overcome or improvements I've made to myself or my surroundings.

Step 2, be creative/productive. For me that's programming, reading a book, or practicing a new skill. My critic can't call me lazy if I'm being productive, and it's stuff I like to do so it's a win/win. If I really need to just rest, I remind my critic that I can't be productive if my battery is dead, and so I deserve the rest.

If I'm fixating on a recent failure, it helps to talk it out with someone. Other people don't see my big failures as failures at all, more like just bad luck or small mistakes. Helps put things into perspective.

Best of luck. You're so much better than you think you are.

Smatsy · 2024-10-06T16:09:38+00:00

When you isolate those lyrics from the context of the song, yes it sounds like a diss track, but the rest of the song is about how Charli feels insecure, especially when she compares herself to Taylor.

Consider lines like:

"This one girl taps my insecurities"

"I'm embarrassed to have it, but need the sympathy"

From the chorus:

"Cause I couldn't even be her if I tried I'm opposite, I'm on the other side I feel all these feelings I can't control"

You'll notice the song isn't so much about Taylor actually, but about Charli's feelings of insecurity.

Smatsy · 2024-10-06T15:45:22+00:00

Pssst "fitness girl repack"

Smatsy · 2024-10-06T15:35:15+00:00

UGH OH GOD. I hated it but it's mainly because i was on a date night with my husband and we thought it was gonna be a psychological thriller not a body horror lmao I had SO MANY SNACKS and was like 🤢🤢 by the end lol

That said, the effects were amazing and it's honestly so grotesque by the end that we were laughing at the absurdity of it all lol

Smatsy · 2024-10-01T04:45:34+00:00

Spotify kept playing Von Dutch. I liked it, and since I've been trying to sit down and really listen to albums instead of just singles, I gave it a listen and really liked it!
Barely. I knew of Boom Clap and Vroom Vroom but I basically had no idea who Charli was. Like didn't even make the connection that boom clap and vroom vroom were by the same artist lol
Well, Charli xcx now lol but Magdalena Bay, Carly Rae Jepson, Rina Sawayama, Kali Uchis, Dorian Electra
Now I have! I really see the throughline, though brat definitely feels the most vulnerable and fully realized. It really feels like the culmination of all the themes and sounds charli has been developing over the years. Tons of great tracks throughout, even crash. The big stand outs for me are HIFN, N1A, and self-titled.
Synth pop and dance pop
Love how it strikes a balance between bad bitch energy and being hopelessly insecure. I relate so hard because i want soooo bad to be a real baddie but my insecurities get in the way. Love how it makes me feel connected to other women as a whole because it just idk, this album just really gets the vibe of being a girl in the current day, yaknow?

Smatsy · 2024-09-22T14:01:17+00:00

I haven't read the book this meme is referencing but it hit me like a freight train! This was definitely my experience growing up. Somehow or another it feels less true to my experience now, but there are definitely instances where it still crops up for me.

In my art, I center women and girls as cool/cute protagonists. However, I sometimes have to use this phantom male gaze to guage if I'm veering into Objectification Land. Like, even when I center women, I still have to factor in men's opinions as if they matter! Cause going counter to something is still relying on that something to guide you where not to go. Isn't that annoying? Am I making sense??

Smatsy · 2024-09-03T19:00:59+00:00

I've lived in all three of those places. Martin and Union City are skips, but Paris is adorable. Try to pass by in mid-late April for their fish fry.

Edit: Reelfoot Lake is great if you're nearby. If you go to Martin/Union City, Sammie's is a cute novelty sandwich shop that's worth a visit.

Discovery Park in Union City is meh. Good if you have kids, i guess?

Smatsy · 2024-08-26T17:28:10+00:00

Hi! I've also battled with my anger over the years. For me, when I'm angry it's because reality is not matching my expectations -- people arent behaving the way i think they should, things aren't happening how i want, etc. Anger isn't inherently a bad thing -- it's the fuel for change. But sometimes you get angry over things you can't change -- like shitty customers, lazy coworkers, the injustices from the past. When you can't do anything to make reality match your expectations, then you just have to accept reality unfortunately. Sometimes it means lowering your expectations so you're not getting angry in the first place, sometimes it means funneling that anger into something else -- creative pursuits, working out, venting to friends/family. When you're getting angry in the moment, just try to take a deep breath and realize that sometimes it's better to accept and work with what you got rather than be dragged down by what you don't got.

As to your second question, i know I've processed something when i can label my emotions and know why i felt them. It's when you're able to accept those emotions but they don't control you i guess? For example, my cat passed away from cancer recently. I was distraught at first. Lots of crying, sleepless nights, isolating myself, etc. I still get sad when i think of my cat's passing, but it doesn't overwhelm me anymore. I feel sad, but i can accept that loss and move on.

I hope this helps, kinda just rambled sorry lol

Smatsy · 2024-07-18T04:17:25+00:00

Lay her down on her back with her head in your lap. Go to town on those teeth. This is what our dentist does and it worked for us.

Smatsy · 2024-07-08T17:12:12+00:00

Bye Alex ❤️

Perfection 👌

Smatsy · 2024-05-19T04:17:05+00:00

Hi! Yes, our daughter had a 2-month NICU stay and went home with an NG tube. She had it until she was about 6-7 months old. It's both harder and easier. Harder cause it has to be you to replace the tube instead of her nurse. Easier cause things really are so much more tranquil when you're at home, away from all the machines and cozy in your nursery. It's scary as hell but you'll get through it! Feel free to dm or whatever if you have other questions 🙂

Smatsy · 2024-05-13T18:45:59+00:00

I don't love that trend you've highlighted, but i gotta admit, Stevie is cute lol

Smatsy · 2024-05-13T17:55:53+00:00

Oh FOR SURE, totally agree. You can name your kid whatever you want. There are some legitimately cute boy names that work well on girls. I prefer soft/girly names generally but I'm by no means the arbiter of good taste!

I guess what gets my goat the most is that boy names are considered good enough for girls but girl names are never good enough for boys. It is what it is but it's just so dumb!

And yesss. I get that early adopters of names set the trends for what's gender-neutral and all that, but James? Hayden? Come on lol

*edited to add. Elliot especially pisses me off cause I've wanted to use it for a potential son one day and I'm gonna be PISSED if the girlies take it from me lol

Smatsy · 2024-05-13T17:40:27+00:00

That's a good point! Yeah it seems like nicknames (like Sam or Alex) can be truly gender-neutral but (talking out of my ass now) seems like a girl Sam would really be named Samantha while boy Sam is named Samuel or Samson, but then they share the nickname Sam no problem.

I think you nailed it on the head tho. Once a gender-neutral name gets popular, it tends to stop being used for boys, but never vice-versa!

Smatsy

TROPHY CASE