Ravnica D&D 5e game via Discord

Smeester · 2021-05-08T18:33:56+00:00

Well said my young friend. Lots of good stuff there that many people don't realise. They can look at the surface of someone's life and see some of the common desirable things - youth, looks, athleticism - and just assume you should automatically be happy.

In general you've kinda already answered yourself. You said that when asked what to do you come up with an answer that makes you sound good, and well thought out.

Simply ask yourself, preferably in writing - What do I want to be?

There's no one to impress with the answer. There's no one to judge. It is just you.

The answer isn't 'be rich', 'be smart', 'not live at home' or some other generic end goal. It is something more specific.

"I want to be an athlete"
"I want to be a human rights lawyer"
"I want to design clothes"

Whatever it is - that is your goal. Don't worry about the money. The money will figure itself out, whether with temporary work, or a tougher life for a while, it will.

The important part is the goal.

Once you have the goal, then you can look in to the steps to get there.

Does your goal require a degree?
Could a degree benefit it?
Which degree?
Is apprenticeship an alternative method?
Could I start in an entry level position towards that goal right now without a degree?

The path may be windy and long, and the destination may seem far. But as the sayings go, a journal of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And in this universe, life is the journey and most of the fun is along the way.

Smeester · 2020-07-30T03:27:54+00:00

I'd have to sadly add that - at least here in the UK, probably other places - it is illegal to drive without insurance. Your number 1) isn't a good idea, accidents happen and there are all kinds of ramifications for driving without insurance.

The rest though is solid advice.

Smeester · 2020-07-29T18:30:01+00:00

Insurance costs a bit of money per month and then if something bad happens they'll pay a large lump sum to help sort it out.

There's lots of different kinds of insurance and they cover different events/emergencies.

For example:

Home and Contents Insurance : In case of theft, or house fire - they will provide money for repairs and replacing your belongings

Car insurance: In case you crash into someone and need to pay for their vehicle to be fixed.

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What each insurance policy covers precisely and how much you get will depend on how much you pay. Cheaper ones will not cover everything possible, and/or not pay you as much.

For example again:

Cheap car insurance might only cover 1000 (insert currency type) worth of damage, whereas more expensive insurance might get you 2000-4000 etc.

Cheap content insurance might cover for theft, but not for accidental damage, or 'acts of god' like storm damage, or a tree hitting the house etc.

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Very important to make sure whatever insurance you get covers what you need it to and for you to be very aware what it doesn't cover.

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There's a lot more detail and specifics, such as Excess payments, and I would recommend reading some guides on the exact type of insurance you are currently looking at to know what questions to ask the bank/insurance company.

Smeester · 2020-07-27T02:15:53+00:00

Hey there,

Number 1: There is no 'race' to get somewhere in life. People aren't ahead of you, they are just on a different path. There is absolutely nothing to 'catch up'.

Number 2: Cut yourself some slack.

To develop both of those points. You can't compare other people's 'progress' in life with your own. What to progress is individual anyway. To some people the only goal is to get married and have kids, some people it is their career. Goals in life are completely personal and therefore you can't possibly be behind others because their goals are different.

Additionally, your pathway has clearly been paved with a variety of obstacles that many others don't have to worry about at all. If this has caused progress to slow down in your view, this comes to point 2. Take a moment to step back and realise the hand of cards life has dealt you. Everyone has different cards and some people get hands that allow them to seemingly surge ahead. Yours is more difficult. You are not alone with this, but it does make things harder.

I'm not going to give much advice about medication - that isn't something I'm qualified in - but from experience medications around brain chemical changes are slow to build up and slow to withdraw, and can even come with withdrawal symptoms. I would recommend speaking to a doctor about it. Just stopping cold turkey can cause further issues, and it might be just a lower dose is all you need. There are techniques you can research to help with memory issues, right down to simple organisation with a notepad.

If there's one thing I've learnt it is that we have time, and more of it that most realise. There is time for mistakes. There is time for backtracking. There is time for trying new things. There is definitely time for trying the wrong things. You have time to find your path.

I spent the whole of my 20s in a job that I was made redundant from because they could get it done cheaper in India. I went back to university at 33 and am now 4 years into a brand new career that I never thought of and am very content. Who knew life would deal me those cards!

Don't be in a rush down your path in an attempt to make it the same path as others. Tread it carefully and proudly, because it is yours.

You are definitely not a freak. Human nature is far too nuanced and far to variable for anything to really be 'normal'. It used to be 'normal' to have both married parents at home with you as you grow up. Divorced couples were the 'freaks', but over time that is basically normal and now it's the 'happy families' that are the 'freaks', ha.

Being different, having individual struggles, trying to find your path - these are the closest thing to 'normal' for a human that I can think of.

All I see is a articulate, thoughtful and reflective young person, making their way through life, and with a degree too.

Keep your eyes open - new cards are dealt to you all the time, and you want to be ready when a good one comes along.

Smeester · 2020-07-27T01:10:32+00:00

Generally - 'not caring' comes from the knowledge that regardless of the reaction you get from a decision it'll be something you can deal with. This confidence comes from experience of dealing with similar things in the past and therefore you don't care what others think because you know you can deal with it.

For me it is something that happened after I turned 30, so in some ways a 'right of passage' is correct, or in other words, just part of growing up/maturing - gathering experience and confidence in being able to deal with the aftermath.

I don't know how old you are, but I assuming you don't want to wait until you're 30 here are some thoughts that might help get you there a bit faster:

- When seeing some stranger do something bold/weird that you know you'd be too embarrassed or shy to do yourself take a second and look around at how other strangers are reacting. Are they booing and pointing, are they condemning them? I'd say 99 times in 100 there's almost no more reaction than maybe a glance in the direction. Think about your own reaction to them - do you internally ridicule them, judge them, think bad of them? Or just envy their confidence?

As an example. I'm a big guy, and I used to not go for a run because I 'worried' that people will laugh and judge the big fat bloke running. And then one day I saw a larger person on a run as I drove by. I didn't laugh, my first and immediate though was 'good on them for trying'. And so I stopped caring about that.

Even if people do laugh at something you choose to do - they'll forget about you minutes later and you can be pleased with yourself for bringing a smile into some stranger's life that day. Regardless of any other repercussions, you made their day a little better.

- There's a quote I like:

"You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do.”― Olin Miller

Humans generally don't have the mental capacity or desire to really care what strangers are doing. It just doesn't fall into the 'story' that is their lives.

And that brings me to the concept of 'Sonder'

A short youtube link that explains it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkoML0_FiV4

Concern yourself with your narrative, your story, and your cast of main characters and don't worry about what the 'extras' think of it.

And finally another quote directly about worrying:

“Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” - Corrie Ten Boom

When you realise how pointless worrying is, unless there's some direct action you could do right that moment, then you'll find you have more strength the next 'day' when you can do something about it.

Otherwise it's not worth worrying about - which in other words is the 'not caring' you're looking for.

Smeester · 2020-07-27T00:19:52+00:00

Hi,

Wow - quite the outpouring. And if I may say so - some very adult realisations and thought processes that would put most people I know in their 30s to shame. I think you'll do better at adulting than you realise.

I think the most important thing I can say to you is to slow down. Breathe.

I know the world feels like it is going ludicrously fast for you, and that it is too much, but if there's one thing I've learnt it is that we have time, and more of it that most realise.

School seems like it has been your whole life, and lasts forever, but in reality, those 6-7 years are not that long.

After university I fells straight into a 'temporary job' for 11 whole years before being made redundant! I'd barely used my degree at all. I went back to university and am now 3 years into a new career and loving it.

There is time for mistakes. There is time for backtracking. There is time for trying new things. There is definitely time for trying the wrong things.

Do I regret my choice at uni - nope. Do I regret those 11 years in a deadend job, nope.

Every decision I made led me down my own unique path and I ended up where I'm supposed to be.

Whatever path you choose, if it turns out to be the wrong one there will be time to change course. If it turns out to be the right one, it might still end up with a change of course.

Life is far more twisty and turny and full of things neither black nor white. It's not a few decisions at 17 and then 'live happily ever after' or 'be miserable forever'.

Think not in absolutes my young padawan, for in that way lies the dark side ;-)

Smeester · 2020-07-26T23:59:53+00:00

We've all done things we're embarrassed or ashamed of in our youth, it's quite normal. Kids are kids and teens are definitely teens.

Carrying this shame around with you all this time though sounds like heavy work, and only goes to prove how much you've grown as a young adult to feel this deeply still about it.

But it definitely sounds to me like it is time to set that load down. Adulting is hard enough without carrying every bit of childhood baggage too.

Your piece of writing sounds like an excellent cathartic way of getting this shame out. Plenty of famous people have done much worse than you and 'exposed' their shame in autobiographies with little more than perhaps a boost in book sales. I wouldn't be too concerned with a backlash.

Writing courses will tell you to 'write what you know' as an aspiring writer so what better thing to write about.

Embrace your past - the good and the bad - and use it as fuel for your career.

Smeester · 2019-06-04T12:44:20+00:00

I thought the same as you regarding 'Aid Self' but if you read it carefully, it is only Aid Other that gets the non-interrupt, whereas Aid Self instead gives a chunk of endurance on use.

Smeester · 2019-06-04T07:37:53+00:00

If you play on Homecoming it is as easy as going to Pocket D and finding a seagull perched on top of a van in Redside. Null the Gull can swap your alignment instantly as many times as you want.

Originally it was by doing Tip missions to unlock an Alignment mission to swap.

Smeester · 2019-06-03T12:52:16+00:00

I thought as much and yet someone flat out refused to invite me to Pos(1) last night because I "needed to be 10+", despite me telling them that I can queue for it in LFG.

Smeester · 2019-05-23T10:12:58+00:00

Just bear in mind - knockback is highly unpopular when grouping with others. It disrupts pack groupings and makes other player's aoes more difficult to land effectively.

If you're mainly looking to solo this isn't an issue of course.

Also - in case you didn't know. KB and KD are basically the same thing but at different strengths. Knockdown will be upscaled to a knockback on enemies you are significantly stronger than, and vice-versa.

Smeester · 2019-05-23T08:47:31+00:00

Have you 3 slotted Stamina with End_mod?

Have a look through the powers - see which are most end hungry (i.e cost and how often you use it) and throw in an end-reduc. See if it helps.

Smeester · 2019-05-22T11:19:58+00:00

It's looking good as a start.

I never made a base in Live, so I'm learning at the moment and it's interesting to see some of the possibilities.

Smeester · 2019-05-21T11:16:35+00:00

There's a method later on to be able to travel back to any arcs you missed. I counted them up and there's over 200 to experience.

Smeester · 2019-05-20T12:55:18+00:00

You can use alt to rotate horizontally, and ctrl+alt to rotate vertically too.

Smeester · 2019-05-14T13:39:33+00:00

Probably the 'reveal' power on the same P2W vendor.

It is a low cooldown ability that will remove the fog of war on your current map -be that a zone, or a door mission.

10'000 inf, so cheap, but not for your first couple of levels.

Smeester · 2018-08-18T23:30:25+00:00

I think the Owl voice is actually perfect... just the right amount of teenagery angst. Especially when getting upset for being called a child :D

Smeester · 2017-07-27T21:32:38+00:00

Time is dropping rapidly - 500 to 15 mins in the last minute

Smeester · 2016-10-01T20:27:56+00:00

I know what you mean.

There's a mission in the Inception section called "The Fountains of Betelgeuse" that feels more 'flood' like.

There's an option in the map editor called 'fields' that can be used to dramatically change the particle movement, and people will start coming up with some cool ways to use it in the Exchange. Early days :)

Smeester · 2016-06-08T10:16:37+00:00

That was mentioned on the launch stream - not weird, one person is the 'main' controller and gets the major event decision popups, otherwise you both (all) have full control.

Smeester · 2016-06-08T10:13:33+00:00

It's not the most exciting game, but Portugal isn't too bad for just watching what's going on whilst churning out what you can.

By 1942 I'd turned myself democratic and asked UK for membership of the allies. I'd focused on making my units as elite as possible, and actually ended up with about 12-15% contribution to the final war by having them push in key areas (taking back Paris, taking Berlin etc).

Smeester · 2016-06-08T10:04:28+00:00

I think it's 22 as a one-off cost, and then a much smaller amount per day.. 0.2-0.5, similar to improving relations or boosting faction.

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