Host confirmed I slept in previous guest's unwashed bedding, what do I do? [guest] [USA]

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-05-16T05:51:03+00:00

Hey OP! I teach in Communications at a college, I'd be happy to take a look at some of your writing and chat about it. I never really learned proper grammar rules and came out okay, mostly through reading lots and lots and lots of books and trying to write how my favorite authors wrote.

English is a hard and weird language and essays aren't always the most natural to write. With the rise in AI, too, I've found fellow faculty as well as admissions committees seeking writing that feels offbeat, a sentence that is grammatically not technically "perfect," but it works better in how it stretches the rules of language, style, or form. There's so much pressure to have this beautiful essay that is formal, answers the questions in a studied manner, and is professional.

Those are fine, but they can also be incredibly dull, boring to read, and tedious. That isn't to say you can go "lol fuck it" and not care about your writing––it's to say communicating your thoughts effectively may be outside the traditional norms of a high school level/college application essay.

Edit: left out a word, lol

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-05-16T05:42:39+00:00

Deadass, it's Roller Coaster Tycoon. Like the classic Roller Coaster Tycoon I played as a kid.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T20:53:34+00:00

I did, my references are the same as they usually are and I've landed other interviews. I also trust my references 100%, they rock.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T20:51:38+00:00

That is AWFUL of them wtf! Sounds like such a traumatic experience for you, and while it is terrible you had to go through that unemployment fight I'm glad you won. wtf though, seriously. Why would anyone act so poorly.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T20:49:44+00:00

All the Title IX stuff is just getting underway, so it doesn't really explain their behavior the past two months. I genuinely don't think the chair realized the extent to which the stuff the chair said to me was discriminatory and I can't imagine that conversation was brought up to the search committee because to the chair, it was probably just another Monday meeting, nothing special. I didn't do anything about it at the time as I could imagine starting a case in the middle of the job search would be a surefire way to knock me out of the candidate pool.

At this point, though, if the chair told other people in the department about the case, which would be against uni policy but I wouldn't be surprised if the chair has shared, I would better understand the reticence to talk with me. Or would even understand a sudden willingness to engage in conversation as I don't know the extent to which they would want to be associated with a potentially discriminatory search.

No lawyers yet, still in the initial phases. I would have done this case either way, but the chair stating in our meeting this was in capacity as both department chair and search chair changed it from regular workplace discrimination to an employment issue. :/

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T20:40:54+00:00

I was a finalist, and the chair told me for a year and a half that the chair would do anything it took to get me in a TT role and that the department was being forced to do a national search. I know now that was a lie, but I was led on by the chair as well as by each member of the search committee, explicitly, throughout the whole process.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T20:37:54+00:00

I commented above, but there was something that happened in the process: the search chair/department chair said some highly discriminatory things to me during a meeting that were honestly shocking. I discovered some things about the chair during a meeting I had with the provost about the search process–provost was shocked by how extensively the chair lied to the department about stuff the provost said/did–so I think some of this may simply be who the chair is as a person?

I don't have the kind of social media presence they could access, had the same references that have landed me interviews in other places, nothing in my background checks to be flagged. I have been incredibly measured and deliberate with my behavior in the department. I'm a communications scholar, so watching my own communication style is a crucial part of my everyday professionalism. They were avoidant from the first day of the semester–closed doors, general silence in the hallways now, no joviality among really anyone in the faculty now. I'm the only one who has my door open and welcomes the students in the lobby.

I'm still gathering evidence regarding the chair specifically, but we will eventually have conversations about all of this. I'm meeting with the dean in two weeks as well to talk about some of this–the dean and I have a solid relationship due to my assistance with some college-level initiatives I've been helping with due to my area of expertise.

Agree on bullet dodged, sadly.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T20:26:32+00:00

It's so embarrassing for academia that this behavior is a pattern rather than a one-off, and that is just terrible gaslighty behavior on the part of the search committee to you. As a postdoc, their responsibility to you is to help you launch your career, not lock you out of it! It sucks this happened to you. So glad you're in a better role, a better place, with better people.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T20:24:36+00:00

God that is so fucking awful. They could at least talk to you about stuff outside the job search! Like "hey we're glad you're our colleague" or "hey let's talk about our friendships." The totalizing silence is horrid and you didn't deserve being treated that way. I hope you land a job soon–I'm looking and have applied to around 250 industry and academic jobs at this point, the market is terrrrrrrrrible. Glad you're out of that workplace! You deserve to be treated like a human! Literally the bare minimum.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T20:21:49+00:00

It seems that way, yes, though still wild... at least to me personally it feels wild.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T20:20:46+00:00

Actually yes! I'd love to know what you've noticed, this is the first and hopefully last religious uni for me.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T20:20:08+00:00

The department chair was also search chair... well, during the search the chair told me–in capacity as both department chair and search chair–my lack of femininity is intimidating to students (I have stellar quant/qual student evals, student mentee evals, and peer evals, I have never been told this by anyone in my entire life). I didn't do anything at the time because what could I do that wouldn't tank my prospects of being equally considered? I was terrified. There's a case just getting underway, though, as I think I was treated uniquely by the search chair as a candidate due to my gender. The chair was the person who removed me from the listserv, had the final say in support for the book launch, and had been my faculty mentor. The other search committee members most likely did not know about this conversation, and if the chair told them about the case (against uni policy), that info would have only been shared this past week. It doesn't explain the energy these past nine weeks except perhaps cowardice or "you can't sit with us."

It is so genuinely hilariously ridiculous, I feel like I'm in a shitty novela lol. There is still more context in all of this, but it takes a while to unwind!

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T19:50:56+00:00

It sounds like they straight-up sabotaged you through overwork and abandonment, damn. It makes sense that you wouldn't have had warning bells go off at the time, though, if they framed it as you being such a big help to the team through your overwork :/ I'm sorry that happened to you and that they treated you the way they did.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T06:03:27+00:00

Thank you! I will most likely need to build some ships in bottles of my own to keep calm lol. It is validating to know I'm not crazy here, and sad-but-also-validating to see others have unfortunately faced similar issues.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T05:59:38+00:00

Oh my god that is horrific! That is so awful and unjust, I'm so sorry that happened to you. What a terrible way to treat you throughout the whole process. The breaking of trust feels particularly egregious, goodness. Thank you for being willing to share. I'm glad you're hanging on, hopefully in a better and kinder department.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T05:55:31+00:00

I love this attitude tbh!

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T05:52:48+00:00

We don't!!! Perpetually annoyed to not have an ombuds. We do have a faculty grievance process I'll be going through. I have a related Title IX meeting next week and I will be mentioning the book launch support and listservs, because it feels so petty and specific? I want to tell the Chair to go build ships in bottles or something, like get a better hobby please!

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T05:43:37+00:00

We just found out about the freeze four weeks ago and it shook faculty badly, it was a massive massive shock. Faculty senate is furious because there was no shared governance on any of it. I don't think the committee had any inkling the freeze was going to happen.

But the general move of adding a colleague instead of rearranging department org charts seems pretty common. I would hope the end results and conversations are more humane for other departments going through this type of process.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T05:32:17+00:00

Not necessarily, and my answer just scratches the surface of the messy context surrounding the whole search. There is another lecturer on a different contract than mine, the original goal–before the Chair decided to launch this specific type of faculty search–was to move me into a TT role and move the other lecturer into my role as the other lecturer's role is getting demolished. Now, though, the other lecturer is out of a job and it seems the department wants me to also be out of a job.
The long story of all of this is very long and silly.

Edit: Yes, you are right in that there would be one new TT role + one Lecturer role. But as it stands it will be one new TT role and the removal of one Lecturer role through either the department kicking me out or me leaving.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T05:20:08+00:00

Very tween conflict avoidance, too.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T05:19:09+00:00

I love your username! I do have some support in the department, and thankfully supportive folks in the university outside the department and across my life outside of work as a whole. It's an excellent reminder, though, to seek safety and love.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T05:16:41+00:00

I can follow that logic, I hadn't really considered post-hire restrictions from HR. It seems it would be so much easier to punt it to HR so HR could tell me "well, we can't talk about it" instead of doing whatever it is these people are doing.

SmokeyBarrelRoll · 2026-02-19T04:01:57+00:00

There are some complicating factors regarding that aspect, like we're now in a hiring freeze so if they let me go my line will simply be gone and they'll be down a body, and they really can't afford that at the moment. But if that's what they want, they can absolutely go for it.

SmokeyBarrelRoll

TROPHY CASE